Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more grammatical, concise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler sounds, correct verb tense and article use, and provide one specific supporting detail. Use linking words like 'but' to contrast.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. There were a few small parks in my hometown, but after we moved to the city there were almost none, so we visited parks only occasionally.

제안: Give a direct topic sentence then two concise reasons with clear linking language. Remove hesitation words, correct grammar (e.g. 'go to the park', 'at night'), and be specific about frequency or plans.

예시: Yes, I still like going to parks because they are great for exercise and clearing my mind. However, I rarely go at the moment because I start work early and I study at night for an important exam; I hope to visit more often after the exams.

제안: Be concise and use correct vocabulary and sentence structure. Begin with a clear opinion, then give a specific reason and an example. Use linking words such as 'for example' or 'therefore'. Avoid repetition and incorrect plurals ('parkers', 'Parkes').

예시: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide green space and places to exercise. For example, the local government recently converted an old industrial area into a pleasant park, which shows that similar projects could benefit other neighborhoods.

제안: Answer directly with correct tense and clearer details. State whether you plan to visit, give a specific reason and a brief plan or timeframe. Correct grammar (e.g. 'when I was a kid', 'I have visited' or 'I want to visit') and prepositions.

예시: I would like to visit Barzan National Park in northwestern Iran. I loved it as a child, and I hope to return next year because I want to see how the landscape and wildlife have changed.

× I like going to park as a child.

✓ I liked going to parks as a child.

The speaker refers to childhood (past), so the past tense 'liked' is required rather than present 'like'. Also 'park' needs an article or plural; 'parks' is natural here because earlier they mention multiple parks. Use past tense to match time frame and plural to match meaning.

× Uh, there was a few parks in my, uh, hometown area, but after that we moved to the city, basically the metro city.

✓ There were a few parks in my hometown area, but after that we moved to the city, the metropolitan city.

With plural 'a few parks' the correct form of 'there be' in past tense is 'there were' not 'there was'. Remove filler commas and use 'metropolitan' or 'the city' for clarity. 'Hometown' does not need a comma before 'area'.

× There wasn't parks around, so we used to go rarely.

✓ There weren't any parks around, so we rarely went there.

Negative 'there be' with plural requires 'weren't' not 'wasn't'. Also use 'any' with negative ('any parks') and place the adverb 'rarely' before the verb 'went' for natural word order. 'Go rarely' is unnatural in past habitual context — use 'rarely went'.

× I really want to go park and I like it uh, it's good for exercise and being motivated and thinking.

✓ I really want to go to parks, and I like them; they are good for exercise, motivation, and thinking.

Use infinitive with 'go to' plus plural 'parks' or singular with article. Pronoun agreement: replace 'it' with 'them' to refer to parks. 'Being motivated and thinking' is awkward; use nouns 'motivation' and 'thinking' or rephrase. Keep present tense 'want' if speaking about current desire.

× But nowadays I don't have time to go to the park since I should work uh, early.

✓ But nowadays I don't have time to go to the park because I have to work early.

Use 'have to' or 'need to' instead of modal 'should' when expressing obligation about one's schedule. 'Because' is more appropriate than 'since' for causal clarity here. Maintain present simple for habitual situation.

× I'm going to study after night for my **** exam but I will try for future.

✓ I'm going to study at night for my **** exam, but I will try to go in the future.

Time expression is 'at night' not 'after night'. For future intention, 'I'm going to study' is correct; to express trying to visit parks later use 'try to go' or 'try in the future'. Preserve consistency in future meaning.

× I would very like to see more parks in the city.

✓ I would very much like to see more parks in the city.

The correct idiom is 'would like' and to intensify it use 'very much' after 'would'. 'Would very like' is not grammatical.

× Even the government tried to build some parkers and they were successful.

✓ The government even tried to build some parks, and they were successful.

'Parkers' is incorrect; the noun is 'parks'. Reorder 'even' for natural emphasis: 'The government even tried...'. Keep plural agreement with 'parks' and maintain past tense 'tried'.

× Successful by expanding in and to place some old area with the new Parkes.

✓ They succeeded by expanding and converting some old areas into new parks.

Original is fragmented and mixes prepositions incorrectly. Use 'succeeded by' and verbs 'expanding' and 'converting' with correct preposition 'into' and plural 'areas' and correct noun 'parks'. This creates a complete, grammatical sentence.

× So can people move around.

✓ So people can move around.

In declarative sentences the auxiliary 'can' should follow the subject: 'people can' rather than 'can people'. The original word order makes it a question; use statement order to match intended meaning.

× I hope that government will build more parks in the future.

✓ I hope that the government will build more parks in the future.

Add the definite article 'the' before 'government' in this context. 'Will build' is acceptable for future hope; keep tense but correct article usage.

× When I was kids I really liked to visit Barzan National Park, but uh, for now I went to the visit.

✓ When I was a kid I really liked visiting Barzan National Park, but I haven't been able to visit recently.

Use singular 'a kid' with 'when I was', not 'when I was kids'. 'Liked visiting' is the natural expression for past habit. The fragment 'for now I went to the visit' is ungrammatical; likely intended meaning is inability to visit recently — use present perfect 'haven't been able to visit recently'.

× A park is in the northwestern Iran.

✓ The park is in northwestern Iran.

Use 'the' before 'park' if referring to a specific park previously named. Also do not use 'the' before country region 'northwestern Iran' when speaking generally; 'in northwestern Iran' is correct. Remove unnecessary article before 'northwestern'.

× I hope I can reach them sooner.

✓ I hope I can get there soon.

Pronoun 'them' incorrectly refers to a singular park; use 'there' for place. Also 'sooner' is comparative and awkward; 'soon' is more natural when expressing desire to visit in the near future.