Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make your answer more concise, correct tense and grammar, use a clear topic sentence and one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repetition and keep within 3–4 sentences. Use linking words (for example, "often" or "so") to connect ideas and correct verb forms ("liked", "played").

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often went with friends and family to play on the swings and play tag, and sometimes we had picnics. Because there were many trees and open spaces, I usually spent whole afternoons running around and playing games.

제안: Start with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons. Fix phrasing and reduce repetition. Use linking words like "but" and "so" correctly and keep sentences short and grammatically correct.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks, but I don't have much free time at the moment because I am a first‑year university student. So I usually visit parks only at weekends to relax or study outdoors when I can.

제안: Give a clear direct answer, then expand with one or two specific suggestions. Correct word choice ("renovated", "greenery", "facilities") and avoid stuttering or repetition. Use linking words like "however" to contrast and end with a complete sentence.

예시: No, I don't think we need more parks because the city already has two good ones. However, they could be renovated with better facilities and more greenery to make them more enjoyable for families.

제안: Begin with a clear statement of which park, then give specific reasons why you want to visit. Correct awkward phrases ("I literally going") and grammar, and avoid repetition. Use linking words like "because" or "for example" to add coherent details.

예시: Yes, I would like to visit a famous garden in Paris. I want to see its many varieties of roses and other plants because it feels like a botanical museum, and I love botanical gardens for their beauty and variety.

× Yes, I like to go into the parks and when I was a child and I often went there with my friends or my families to play with swings and tags or PLA picnics and I usually spend the whole time afternoon running around and playing games.

✓ Yes, I liked going to parks when I was a child, and I often went there with my friends or my family to play on the swings, play tag, or have picnics. I usually spent the whole afternoon running around and playing games.

The student mixes present and past tenses. The question asks about childhood, so past tense should be used consistently: 'liked', 'went', 'family' (not 'families'), 'play on the swings' and 'play tag' are idiomatic, and 'spent the whole afternoon' is the correct past form. Also corrected word order and redundant words. Suggestion: Use past simple for habits in childhood and choose singular 'family' for the speaker's family; use idiomatic verbs (play on the swings, play tag).

× Yes, I still like to go into the parks but I don't have much free time at all and the moment I'm first semester year so semester year students so I usually go only on the weekends or relax relax to study outside when I can.

✓ Yes, I still like going to parks, but I don't have much free time at the moment because I'm in my first semester, so I usually go only on weekends or study outside when I can to relax.

Several tense and structure issues: use 'at the moment' for current time; 'I'm in my first semester' is the correct idiom; 'going to parks' (gerund) is more natural; 'on weekends' (no article) is standard; remove repeated word 'relax'. Suggestion: Keep present simple/continuous for current routines and use clear clauses to explain reasons (because...).

× No I don't think we need more parks because my city already has two good parks. However they could be re re renovated, renovated with better facilities and more generally grainy to make them more enjoyable for our family and.

✓ No, I don't think we need more parks because my city already has two good parks. However, they could be renovated with better facilities and more greenery to make them more enjoyable for families.

Errors corrected: punctuation and sentence fragments; removed repeated 're renovated'; 'greenery' is the correct noun instead of 'grainy'; 'for our family' changed to 'for families' to generalize and read naturally. Also completed the trailing conjunction. Suggestion: Avoid repetition, choose correct nouns (greenery), and finish sentences fully; use plural 'families' when speaking generally.

× Yes, there is a garden in Paris. I literally going I want to visit and it's full of different varieties of roses and other flowers, other kind of flowers and plants. But it feels like botanical museum and I love to see the this place.

✓ Yes, there is a garden in Paris that I really want to visit. It's full of many varieties of roses, other kinds of flowers, and plants. It feels like a botanical museum, and I would love to see this place.

Multiple issues: sentence fragments and incorrect verb forms. 'I literally going I want to visit' is ungrammatical; replace with 'I really want to visit'. 'Different varieties' and 'other kinds' need plural forms; 'a botanical museum' requires the article 'a'; use 'would love' to express desire politely. Removed extra 'the'. Suggestion: Use proper clause structure (relative clause 'that I want to visit'), correct noun plurals, include articles before countable singular nouns, and use polite modal forms for wishes.