Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Cải thiện ngữ pháp và phát âm, tránh lỗi từ vựng không phù hợp (ví dụ “as a kiss”), sửa cấu trúc câu để rõ ràng hơn. Nên trả lời trực tiếp rồi thêm 1-2 chi tiết cụ thể (những hoạt động bạn làm ở công viên, tần suất). Hạn chế lặp từ và giữ tối đa 3-4 câu.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because they were peaceful and fun. I used to play on the swings and ride my bicycle along the paths. Going there helped me relax after school and spend time outdoors.

제안: Sắp xếp câu rõ ràng, sửa lỗi ngữ pháp và tránh lặp từ (ví dụ “I always I am always busy”). Nên dùng liên từ để nối ý (e.g., however, so) và nêu giải pháp cụ thể hoặc tần suất mong muốn. Giữ 2-3 câu ngắn gọn, tự nhiên.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy visiting parks, but I seldom have time in the evenings because I am usually busy with work. However, I hope that in the future I will have more free time and can go to the park at least once a week.

제안: Cải thiện tính mạch lạc và dùng từ chính xác (ví dụ thay “my in rate” bằng “improve”). Tránh lặp từ như “nice”. Bắt đầu bằng câu chủ đề rõ ràng, sau đó giải thích lý do với chi tiết cụ thể (ảnh hưởng đến sức khỏe tinh thần, hoạt động cộng đồng).

예시: Yes, definitely. More parks would improve the city's living environment and provide spaces for exercise and relaxation. They would also benefit people's mental health by offering a peaceful place to unwind.

제안: Sửa trật tự từ và ngữ pháp để câu rõ ràng; tránh cụm từ lạ như “sense of lesson leads”. Nên nêu lý do cụ thể vì sao muốn đến công viên đó (ví dụ danh tiếng, phong cảnh, hoạt động) và kết thúc bằng một câu ngắn gọn. Giữ tối đa 3 câu.

예시: Central Park in New York is definitely a place I would like to visit in the future because of its beautiful landscapes and variety of activities. I think walking there would help me relax and lift my mood when I feel down.

× Yes, I love going to parks as a kiss.

✓ Yes, I loved going to parks as a child.

The student used 'kiss' instead of 'child', which is a wrong word choice and makes the sentence meaningless. Also tense should match 'Did you like' (past), so 'loved' is appropriate. Suggestion: use the correct noun 'child' and match past tense: 'I loved going to parks as a child.'

× I often go to the park to go to work or ride the bike.

✓ I often go to the park to relax, or I ride my bike there to go to work.

The original sentence mixes actions and uses 'ride the bike' with a definite article; 'ride my bike' or 'ride a bike' is natural. Also 'go to the park to go to work' is illogical. Suggestion: separate ideas and use possessive 'my' or indefinite 'a': 'I often go to the park to relax, or I ride my bike there on my way to work.'

× Yes, I still love going to parks now, but I don't have a lot of time to visit there in the evening.

✓ Yes, I still love going to parks now, but I don't have much time to visit them in the evening.

Use 'much' with uncountable amount and 'visit there' is incorrect word order; say 'visit them' or 'visit the park'. Suggestion: use 'much' for time and correct object pronoun: '...don't have much time to visit them in the evening.'

× I always I am always busy.

✓ I am always busy.

The sentence repeats the subject and adverb incorrectly. Only one form is needed. Suggestion: use a single correct structure: 'I am always busy.'

× So I hope that in the future I will have to just to go to the park.

✓ So I hope that in the future I will be able to go to the park more often.

'Have to just to' is incorrect combination of modal/tense and infinitive markers. Use 'will be able to' to express future ability or 'will have time to' to express having time. Suggestion: choose clear expression: 'I will be able to go to the park more often.'

× It is a nice way to enjoy the nice atmosphere and. Area umm my in rate a good mental health.

✓ It is a nice way to enjoy the pleasant atmosphere and it is good for my mental health.

Original has fragments, repetition 'nice' twice, and garbled phrase 'Area umm my in rate'. Combine into a complete sentence and use 'good for my mental health.' Suggestion: avoid repetition and form a complete clause: '...enjoy the pleasant atmosphere and it is good for my mental health.'

× Central Park in New York is definitely the place that I would go to the future, go to in the future it.

✓ Central Park in New York is definitely a place I would like to visit in the future.

The original repeats phrases and misorders words. Use 'would like to visit' for expressing desire about the future. Suggestion: simplify: '...a place I would like to visit in the future.'

× May it give me the sense of lesson leads and relax, especially when I'm feeling down.

✓ It may give me a feeling of peace and relaxation, especially when I'm feeling down.

'Sense of lesson leads' is meaningless; use appropriate nouns like 'peace' and 'relaxation'. Also use article 'a feeling' and parallel nouns. Suggestion: choose clear vocabulary: 'a feeling of peace and relaxation.'