Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct small grammar issues. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid redundancy (e.g., “playing with other children there and playing on swings and slides” → shorten). Also correct phrasing: use “didn’t have many chances” instead of “did occasionally have the chance.”

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I especially enjoyed playing on the swings and slides with other kids, and I remember spending hours there on weekends. However, I didn’t go very often because I was raised by my grandmother, who had knee pain and found it hard to take me out.

제안: Make the answer more natural by avoiding idioms that sound informal for IELTS (e.g., “my cup of tea”) and remove repetition (double “and”). Keep sentences to a maximum of five and use linking words like “also” or “especially.” Be specific about frequency and whom you go with.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. I often walk there in my free time, especially to parks by the sea or lakes, because the views are relaxing. I also like cycling and roller-skating in parks, and I usually do these activities with my friends on weekends.

제안: Focus on a clear main idea first, then add two concise reasons with linking words. Correct small grammar (singular/plural: “parks contribute” not “it contributes”) and remove filler phrases like “actually” and “as well.”

예시: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city. More parks contribute to greenery and make the city more attractive to residents and tourists. Moreover, parks provide recreational space for families, and I appreciate that the government has been supporting their development.

제안: Be concise and avoid hesitation fillers (“uh,” “actually,” “as a matter of fact”). Give a clear plan or specific example of a park or country you want to visit to make your answer more concrete. Use linking words like “for example” or “in particular.”

예시: Yes, I plan to visit many parks in the future. For example, I would like to explore national parks across Azerbaijan and visit famous parks abroad, such as Hyde Park in London or Central Park in New York, because I enjoy green spaces and different park designs.

× Well, I definitely did love going to the parks and especially playing with other children there and playing on swings and slides.

✓ Well, I definitely loved going to parks, especially playing with other children and using swings and slides.

Use plural 'parks' without the definite article when speaking generally. 'Did love' is unnecessary; simple past 'loved' is more natural. Also streamline repeated 'playing' to avoid redundancy.

× However, I did occasionally have the chance to go there due to the fact that I grew up with my grandmother and she was old and usually tired and had some pain in her knees, so she wasn't really able to take us to the parks and greenery quite often.

✓ However, I only occasionally had the chance to go because I grew up with my grandmother, who was elderly, usually tired, and had knee pain, so she wasn't able to take us to parks very often.

Use simple past 'had' for past situations; 'did occasionally have the chance' is wordy—'only occasionally had the chance' is clearer. Use 'who' to introduce a relative clause. 'Greenery' is uncountable and awkward here; 'parks' or 'green spaces' is better. 'Quite often' is redundant with 'only occasionally' so 'very often' fits the negative context.

× Yeah, it's definitely my cup of tea and whenever I have leisure time, I love walking around the park and especially the parks that are located right near the sea or lakes and and I love cycling and roller skating around the parks as well.

✓ Yeah, it's definitely my cup of tea, and whenever I have free time I love walking in parks, especially those near the sea or lakes, and I also enjoy cycling and roller skating in parks.

Use 'free time' or 'leisure time' consistently. Avoid repeating 'and' twice. Use plural 'parks' when speaking generally. 'Walking in parks' is more natural than 'walking around the park' when referring to parks in general. Add 'also' for smoother coordination.

× And it's my favorite hobby with to do with my friends.

✓ And it's my favorite hobby to do with my friends.

Remove extra preposition 'with' after 'hobby'. Correct structure is 'a hobby to do with someone' or 'my favorite hobby to do with my friends.'

× Yes, I would definitely love to see more parks as it contributes to increasing greenery and it helps actually the city become more beautiful and attractive to tourists and the local communities and residents as well.

✓ Yes, I would definitely love to see more parks, as they contribute to increasing greenery and help the city become more beautiful and attractive to tourists and local residents.

Subject 'parks' is plural, so use plural verbs 'contribute' and 'help'. Remove 'actually' and redundant 'and residents as well'. Simplify 'the local communities and residents' to 'local residents.'

× And I am happy and grateful to see the that the government really helps increase the amount of parks.

✓ And I am happy and grateful to see that the government is helping to increase the number of parks.

Use 'is helping' to show ongoing action. 'Amount of parks' is incorrect; use 'number of parks' for countable nouns. Remove extra 'the.'

× Yeah, I'm definitely planning to visit almost all the parks, uh, of the whole Azerbaijan and the other countries as well, Although it's impossible, but uh, as a matter of fact, I love spending time in the parks and greenery areas.

✓ Yeah, I'm definitely planning to visit almost all the parks in Azerbaijan and parks in other countries as well, although it's impossible. As a matter of fact, I love spending time in parks and green areas.

Use 'in Azerbaijan' rather than 'of the whole Azerbaijan.' Capitalization: 'Although' should be lowercase mid-sentence. Remove redundant 'but'. Use 'parks in other countries' for clarity. 'Greenery areas' is awkward; 'green areas' is natural.

× Uh, in the future I'm actually aspiring to visit other countries parks.

✓ In the future, I'm actually hoping to visit parks in other countries.

Place 'in the future' at sentence start with comma. Use 'hoping' or 'planning' instead of 'aspiring' for natural collocation. Use 'parks in other countries' word order; possessive 'other countries' parks requires an apostrophe and is less natural.