Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Improve grammar (use past tense), reduce redundancy, and organize into a clear topic sentence plus supporting detail. Use linking words and more precise vocabulary (e.g., "play with friends," "spend time with family"). Keep answer under five sentences.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because they helped me feel close to nature. I often played games with my friends there, and my family and I would spend relaxing afternoons together. These visits were fun and helped me build strong memories.

제안: Use present simple for habits, correct verb forms, avoid repetition, and structure: topic sentence + one or two specific examples. Use linking words like "also" and "for example."

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks now because I often play volleyball with my friends there. For example, we meet every weekend to practice, and sometimes my family joins us so we can spend quality time together.

제안: Clarify ideas and correct sentence structure. State your opinion, then give specific reasons and examples. Avoid unclear phrases and improve vocabulary (e.g., "popular," "well-maintained"). Keep it concise.

예시: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide green spaces for exercise and relaxation. For instance, a popular park in my area is well-maintained and attracts many older people who come daily to walk and exercise.

제안: Use future tense correctly and avoid fillers. Give a clear reason and one or two specific details about what you expect to see. Keep sentences grammatical and concise.

예시: Yes, I would like to visit a wildlife park in the future because I want to see animals like tigers, lions, elephants and horses up close. I think it would be exciting and educational, and I hope to learn more about their habitats and conservation efforts.

× Yes, I always going to the parking lot as a child because it gave me a close connection to the nature and I always play with my friends in the park and I also enjoy with my family.

✓ Yes, I always went to the park as a child because it gave me a close connection to nature, and I always played with my friends in the park and also enjoyed time with my family.

The sentence contains incorrect use of verb + -ing where past tense is required. 'Always going' should be past simple 'always went' to match 'as a child'. 'Play' and 'enjoy' should be past forms 'played' and 'enjoyed' for consistent past narration. 'Parking lot' is wrong word choice for 'park'; use 'park'. 'To the nature' is incorrect preposition/article use; use 'connection to nature'. Also combine clauses with commas and 'and' for clarity.

× Yes, I always going to the parks now because I will also playing with my friends in the park, in the parks because I will playing the volleyball with my friend and I will always playing with the at the weekends and I always going to with my family and spend a lot of time together.

✓ Yes, I always go to parks now because I also play with my friends in the park. I play volleyball with my friends at the weekends, and I always go with my family and spend a lot of time together.

Present habitual actions require base verb form (present simple): 'always go', 'play', not 'always going' or 'will playing'. Remove unnecessary future 'will' because speaker describes current habits. Use plural 'friends' and 'at the weekends' → 'at the weekend' or 'on weekends' (here 'at the weekends' changed to 'at the weekends' kept but corrected structure). Fix pronoun and article issues: 'with my friend' → 'with my friends'; remove extra 'the' before 'weekends'. Ensure consistent tense (present simple) for routines.

× Yes, I like to see more parks in my city because I like to fish Park because it is the very famous park in my city.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because I like Fish Park; it is a very famous park in my city.

The sentence has redundant phrasing and incorrect preposition/Article use. 'Like to see' is better as 'would like to see' for polite preference. 'fish Park' likely a proper name → 'Fish Park' with capitalization and no 'to' before it. 'the very famous' should be 'a very famous' (article error). Clean up repetition.

× Went to the Mara come to this park because it is very beautiful and gorgeous, and a lot of old people also going to this park and exercise daily.

✓ Many people come to this park because it is very beautiful and a lot of older people also come here to exercise daily.

Original sentence fragments and word order are incorrect. 'Went to the Mara come to this park' is ungrammatical; replace with clear subject 'Many people come'. 'Gorgeous' is redundant with 'very beautiful'; simplified. Use present simple 'come' and 'come here to exercise' for habitual actions. 'Old people' → 'older people' for polite adjective use.

× Yes, I am going to in the future, I going to the wildlife animal park because a lot of animals I will see in the park, uh, animals like uh, tiger, lion and elephant because I like these animals.

✓ Yes, in the future I am going to visit the wildlife park because I will see many animals there, such as tigers, lions, and elephants, and I like these animals.

Mixing tenses and incorrect verb forms: 'I am going to in the future, I going to' is redundant and ungrammatical. Use 'I am going to visit' to express future intention. Use 'I will see' for future observation. Use plural forms for animal names ('tigers, lions, elephants'). Remove filler words and reorder for clarity.

× I also going to the uh, horse because I'm not seeing the horse and air lion in the real life.

✓ I also want to see horses because I have not seen horses and lions in real life.

Pronoun and verb errors: 'I also going to the uh, horse' should convey desire: 'I also want to see horses'. 'I'm not seeing' is incorrect present progressive for a past experience; use present perfect 'have not seen'. 'Air lion' is incorrect word; assume 'also lions' or 'a real lion' → corrected to 'lions'. Use plural 'horses' and 'lions' for general statements.

× So that's why I am going to in the future wildlife park. It is located.

✓ So that's why I plan to visit a wildlife park in the future. It is located nearby. (If location unknown, specify the location or remove the sentence.)

Fragment 'I am going to in the future wildlife park. It is located.' is incomplete and unclear. Provide a complete verb phrase 'plan to visit' and add a location phrase or note that the speaker should specify the location. If location is unknown, the second sentence should be removed or completed.