Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be concise and avoid repetition; start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Correct minor grammar errors (e.g. double words, verb forms) and keep to maximum five sentences. Use linking words like “because” or “so” to connect ideas smoothly.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. Because I grew up in a small village, parks were one of the few places where I could play freely and meet other children, so they became a big part of my childhood.

제안: Give a direct topic sentence and then support it with a clear reason and an example. Remove filler words (“uh”, “umm”) and unclear phrases (“more of a humbly”). Use linking words such as “however” or “but” to show contrast between preference and occasional enjoyment.

예시: Not really; I prefer staying at home most of the time. However, I sometimes go to parks with friends because they provide a pleasant place to chat and relax outdoors.

제안: State your opinion clearly and support it with specific, coherent reasons. Avoid hesitations and repetitive phrases. Use accurate vocabulary (e.g. “important” or “beneficial” rather than “significant for cities nowadays”) and concise explanations of benefits (air quality, recreation, mental health).

예시: Yes, I would. I think more parks are beneficial because trees improve air quality and parks offer spaces for exercise and relaxation, which boosts residents’ physical and mental health.

제안: Begin with a direct answer and then give a specific example or reason to make the response memorable. Avoid repetition and hesitation. If you don’t have a particular park in mind, mention a type of park or a country and explain why it appeals to you using linking words like “because” or “for example.”

예시: I don't have a particular park in mind right now, but I would love to visit a famous park abroad, such as Central Park in New York or Hyde Park in London, because I want to experience their unique atmosphere and historic surroundings.

× Since I live in a pretty small town and I used to live in a village, going to parks was a big part of my childhood because I I didn't have chance to visit them often.

✓ Since I used to live in a village and now I live in a pretty small town, going to parks was a big part of my childhood because I didn't have the chance to visit them often.

The original sentence has word order issues and repetition ('I I') and missing article before 'chance'. Reorder clauses for logical time sequence (past habit then current state), remove duplicate word, and add the definite article 'the' before 'chance' to make the noun phrase grammatically correct. Keep past tense for childhood activities.

× Frankly speaking, not really is uh, I'm more of a humbly.

✓ Frankly speaking, not really. I'm more humble by nature.

The original sentence misuses 'humbl y' as an adverb and has awkward structure 'more of a humbly'. Replace with the adjective 'humble' and natural phrasing 'more humble by nature'. Also separate the negative response and the following statement into two clauses.

× I do enjoy staying at home and do some things by myself, but still, uh, I can go outside with my friends and it's very enjoyable.

✓ I enjoy staying at home and doing some things by myself, but I can also go outside with my friends and it's very enjoyable.

Use of 'do enjoy' is acceptable for emphasis but 'do some things' needs gerund 'doing' after 'enjoy'. Also add 'also' for contrast and remove filler 'uh'. Maintain present tense for current preferences.

× I presume, umm, natural areas of is really significant for cities nowadays because obviously trees help produce more oxygen and it's really healthy help healthy and helpful.

✓ I presume natural areas are really important for cities nowadays, because trees help produce more oxygen and they are healthy and helpful.

Original has extra words and wrong phrase 'natural areas of is'. Use 'are' for plural subject. Replace 'significant' with more natural 'important'. Correct redundant and incorrect phrase 'it's really healthy help healthy and helpful' to 'they are healthy and helpful' referring to trees; ensure subject-verb agreement and clear parallel adjectives.

× To be honest, I'm still uncertain because I do not have a specific park that I would like to visit, but it is umm. It is obviously would be a park which is located somewhere abroad.

✓ To be honest, I'm still uncertain because I do not have a specific park that I would like to visit, but it would probably be a park located abroad.

Original repeats 'it is' and mixes modal structure 'would be' incorrectly with 'is'. Use 'would probably be' to express hypothetical future preference and remove unnecessary 'it is umm'. Keep conditional/modal 'would' for hypothetical scenario.

× I think it would be memorable.

✓ I think it would be memorable.

This sentence is grammatically correct. It appropriately uses 'would' to express a hypothetical future experience, so no change is needed.