Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and clear: start with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid filler sounds (uh, um) and correct simple grammar (e.g., "in the countryside" not "in our back in the country"). Use linking words like "because" or "so" to connect ideas.

예시: Yes, I liked going to parks as a child. However, I grew up in a small village and there were no large parks nearby, so my friends and I usually played in a narrow alley between the houses. Because it was close to home, it felt safe and fun.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence and support it with specific details and correct grammar. Replace fillers with concise phrases and use linking words (for example, "also" or "because"). Make plural agreements and articles correct ("there are many parks," "a lot of activities").

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. In the city where I live now there are many parks with walking paths, and I often watch street dance groups in the evenings. Because the parks host activities for all ages, they are lively and enjoyable.

제안: Answer directly and avoid repetition. Use clearer structure: state your opinion, give one reason and one specific example or suggestion. Improve sentence accuracy ("there is almost only one" → "there is only one nearby"). Use linking words like "because" or "so".

예시: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because there is only one small park nearby. More parks would provide safe spaces for children to play and for older people to exercise.

제안: Be specific and finish your ideas. Start with a clear topic sentence (e.g., "Yes, I plan to visit..."), then give a concrete plan or example. Avoid trailing off and fillers. If unsure, say you will explore parks in the new city and name a type of park you want to visit.

예시: Yes. After I graduate I will move to another city and plan to visit the central city park to see its facilities. I also want to explore local community parks to find places where I can relax and meet people.

× in our back in the country when I was a child, uh, there was not much big park, but we have an alley that is umm, uh, that is built with some homes, so we play there.

✓ Back in the country when I was a child, there were not many big parks, but we had an alley built between some homes, so we played there.

Uses of 'there be' require correct number agreement and plural forms. 'There was not much big park' is incorrect: 'much' with countable 'park' is wrong and singular verb 'was' does not match intended plural. Also tense should be past ('had', 'played'). Suggest using 'there were not many big parks' and change 'we have' to past 'we had' and 'so we played there' to match past time frame.

× Uh, now I have, uh, in, I'm in China, uh, there is many parks for walking and uh, there is a street dancers club.

✓ Now that I'm in China, there are many parks for walking and there is a street dancers' club.

With 'there is/are' use plural verb 'are' for plural noun 'many parks'. 'There is many parks' is incorrect subject-verb agreement. Also 'I'm in China' fits better than 'now I have, I'm in China'. Add possessive apostrophe for 'dancers' if needed: 'dancers' club'.

× I really enjoyed my evening there. There is a lots of activity from child to older ages.

✓ I really enjoy my evenings there. There are lots of activities for children and older people.

'There is a lots' mixes singular 'is' with plural 'lots' and uses uncountable form incorrectly. Use 'there are lots of activities' (plural). Also tense should match general habit ('enjoy' rather than 'enjoyed') if speaking about current routine. Use 'children' instead of 'child' and 'older people' instead of 'older ages'.

× Yeah, I, I would like to see more parks in my city as there is very near 1, though it's not very much large, but I think in this Nanjing city, uh, we should have many more parks for children to older people.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because there is only one very near me; although it's not very large, I think Nanjing should have many more parks for children and older people.

'There is very near 1' is ungrammatical: use 'there is only one very near me'. 'Not very much large' incorrectly uses 'much' with adjective; use 'not very large'. Also 'in this Nanjing city' is awkward; use 'I think Nanjing' or 'in Nanjing'. Ensure noun phrases 'children and older people' are parallel.

× Right now, I think, uh, after graduation, I need to move to another city. So I, I will, uh, go there and see what's the situation of the City Park.

✓ Right now I think that after graduation I will need to move to another city, so I will go there and see what the situation of the city park is.

Mixes present 'need' with future intention; better to use future 'will need' to show planned action. Word order in 'see what's the situation of the City Park' is awkward; use 'see what the situation of the city park is'. Capitalization of 'City Park' is unnecessary unless it's a proper name; use 'city park'.

× But I'm sure that every community has its own park and also, uh, in the big.

✓ But I'm sure that every community has its own park and also the larger communities have bigger parks.

'and also, uh, in the big.' is incomplete and ungrammatical (sentence structure error and 'there be' implied). Provide a complete comparative clause: 'the larger communities have bigger parks.' This corrects missing verb and clarifies meaning.