Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Good direct response and relevant supporting details. Improve coherence by avoiding sentence fragments and reducing redundancy (e.g., “they were fun” and “I could play with my friends” overlap). Use a linking phrase and combine short sentences for natural flow. Keep it within five sentences.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because they were fun and I could play with my friends. For example, we often went on weekends to run around, use the swings and have small picnics, so I have many happy memories.

제안: Answer is relevant and specific. Reduce hesitations (“Well”, “Uh”) and tighten sentences to sound more fluent. Use a linking word to connect the reason and example smoothly. Maintain concise frequency expressions.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy parks because they are peaceful and good for fresh air and exercise. For example, I usually go for a short jog at the weekend and sometimes meet a friend for coffee, so I visit about once or twice a week.

제안: Strong, clear answer with relevant reasons and examples. To improve, add a linking phrase to show consequence or benefit and vary vocabulary slightly (e.g., “provide recreational space” rather than repeating “place”). Keep sentences concise.

예시: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because they make the area greener and provide recreational space for people to relax and exercise. For example, I could walk or jog there after work, and families would have a safe area for children to play.

제안: Good content and personal plan. Reduce filler words (“Well”, “Uh”) and correct verb forms and repetition (e.g., “do some trekking and hiking and taking photos” → “go trekking, hiking and take photos”). Use one or two concise sentences with linking words to improve fluency.

예시: I would like to visit a large national park, such as a mountain nature reserve, because it would be peaceful and perfect for trekking, hiking and taking photos. I haven’t had many chances recently, so I hope to go next summer with some friends.

× 'For example.'

✓ 'For example, we often went on weekends to run around, use the swings and have small picnics, so I have many happy memories.'

'For example.' is a sentence fragment lacking a verb and connection to the following clause. It should be joined to the next sentence with a comma to form a complete sentence. Suggestion: attach 'For example,' to the following clause or complete the fragment with a full clause.

× 'We often went on weekends to run around, use the swings and have small picnics, so I have many happy memories.'

✓ 'We often went on weekends to run around, use the swings and have small picnics, so I had many happy memories.'

The sentence mixes past actions ('went', 'run', 'use', 'have') with a present-tense verb 'have'. The recollection should remain in the past tense, so 'have' should be changed to 'had'. Suggestion: keep past-tense consistency when describing past experiences.

× 'I usually go for a short walk or jog there at the weekend and sometimes I meet a friend for a coffee and I try to go once or twice a week.'

✓ 'I usually go for a short walk or jog there at the weekend, sometimes meet a friend for a coffee, and try to go once or twice a week.'

This sentence is grammatically acceptable but can be improved for naturalness and parallel structure. Removing the repeated subject 'I' in middle clauses creates smoother coordination. Ensure parallel verbs ('go', 'meet', 'try'). Suggestion: use commas and parallel verb forms for clarity.

× 'I think it would be peaceful and I could do some trekking and hiking and taking photos, and I haven't had much chance to do that recently.'

✓ 'I think it would be peaceful and I could do some trekking and hiking and take photos, and I haven't had much chance to do that recently.'

The coordinated verbs after 'could' should be in the base form: 'do trekking', 'hike' or 'do some trekking and hiking and take photos'. Using 'taking' is inconsistent with the modal 'could'. Suggestion: after modal verbs use the base verb form, not the -ing form, when listing actions.

× 'Uh, for example, I usually go for a short walk or jog there at the weekend and sometimes I meet a friend for a coffee and I try to go once or twice a week.'

✓ 'For example, I usually go for a short walk or jog there at the weekend, sometimes meet a friend for a coffee, and try to go once or twice a week.'

The filler 'Uh' can be omitted in writing. Also, improve parallel structure and punctuation as above to make the sentence clearer and maintain present habitual tense consistently. Suggestion: remove hesitation markers and use commas to separate coordinated habitual actions.'