Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be concise and accurate: correct word choice and grammar, use one clear topic sentence and one or two supporting details. Avoid repetition and tense errors (mixing past and present). Use linking words like 'but' and 'so' properly.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because they were ideal places to play with friends in open grassy areas and on playgrounds. However, I grew up in a rural town without parks, so I only visited them when my family traveled to the nearby city.

제안: Reduce repetition and improve coherence: use varied vocabulary and correct collocations ('green spaces', 'hang out with my friends'). Keep answers within 3–4 sentences and connect ideas with linking words like 'so' and 'for example'.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they are peaceful green spaces where I can relax after work. For example, I often spend weekends there with friends, doing outdoor activities or having a picnic to escape the city's hustle and bustle and clear my mind.

제안: Make grammar and agreement consistent and avoid filler words like 'umm'. Use linking words ('because', 'for example') correctly and be specific about benefits with correct verb forms and singular/plural agreement.

예시: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they encourage people to lead healthier lifestyles and promote social interaction. For example, older residents often exercise together in the afternoons, which improves their health and strengthens the community.

제안: Correct sentence structure and word forms, avoid repetition and redundancy. Use precise adjectives and check article usage ('a well-maintained garden', 'a large row of trees'). Keep to 2–3 sentences and use past or present consistently when describing memories.

예시: Yes, I'd like to return to a park in San Diego because it has a well-maintained garden full of lush plants. I particularly enjoyed a long row of tall trees and many colorful butterflies, which made the place peaceful and pleasant to explore.

× Yes, definitely because pros were ideal place for me to play with my friends in open grassy areas and playgrounds after school.

✓ Yes, definitely because parks were an ideal place for me to play with my friends in open grassy areas and on playgrounds after school.

The speaker used 'pros' instead of 'parks' (wrong word) and omitted the article 'an' before 'ideal place'. Also use 'on playgrounds' or 'in playgrounds' and plural 'parks' fits context. Suggestion: use the correct noun 'parks', include the article 'an' before a singular countable noun phrase 'ideal place', and use prepositions consistently.

× However, I grew up in a rural town that had no parks so I only go to the parks when I traveled to nearby city with my family.

✓ However, I grew up in a rural town that had no parks, so I only went to the parks when I traveled to a nearby city with my family.

Mixes past ('grew up', 'traveled') with present 'go'. Maintain past tense 'went' to match the time frame. Also add article 'a' before 'nearby city' and a comma before 'so'. Suggestion: keep verb tenses consistent for past events and include necessary articles.

× Yes, I still enjoy going to the parks because they are peaceful greenery spaces where I can relax and unwind after work.

✓ Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they are peaceful green spaces where I can relax and unwind after work.

Using 'the parks' implies specific parks; general enjoyment uses zero article 'parks'. 'Greenery' is a noun; 'green' is the correct adjective before 'spaces'. Suggestion: use no article when speaking generally and choose correct adjective form.

× I often go to the park all weekend, hang out with my friend to hang out with my friend, do some outdoor activities and have a picnic to get away from hustle and bustle of big cities and clear my mind.

✓ I often spend the whole weekend at the park, hanging out with my friends, doing outdoor activities, and having a picnic to get away from the hustle and bustle of big cities and clear my mind.

Sentence had repetition, singular/plural mismatch 'my friend' vs plural activities, incorrect verb forms and missing articles. Changed structure to parallel gerunds and plural 'friends' (matches general statement). Added 'the' before 'hustle and bustle'. Suggestion: avoid repetition, use parallel structure (spending/ hanging/ doing/ having) and include necessary articles.

× Yes, I would like to see more parks in my cities because it encourages people to lead healthier lifestyle and promote social interaction.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they encourage people to lead healthier lifestyles and promote social interaction.

'my cities' likely should be singular 'my city'. 'It encourages' mismatches plural 'parks' so use 'they encourage'. 'Lifestyle' should be plural 'lifestyles' when speaking generally. Suggestion: ensure subject-pronoun agreement and pluralization when referring generally.

× For example, in the afternoon, older people often do exercise together, which not only improve their health but also, umm, strengthen community.

✓ For example, in the afternoons, older people often exercise together, which not only improves their health but also strengthens the community.

Use habitual present 'exercise' instead of 'do exercise'. Subject 'which' refers to 'exercise' (singular concept) or the action, so verbs need third-person singular 'improves' and 'strengthens'. Added plural 'afternoons' and article 'the' before 'community'. Suggestion: use correct verb forms and subject-verb agreement for relative clauses.

× Yes, I would like to go back to the park in San Diego because it has so well maintained garden with lush greenery.

✓ Yes, I would like to go back to the park in San Diego because it has a well-maintained garden with lush greenery.

Missing article 'a' before 'well-maintained garden' and hyphenation for compound adjective 'well-maintained'. Also 'so' misplaced; remove or rephrase ('a very well-maintained garden'). Suggestion: include articles before singular countable nouns and hyphenate compound adjectives before nouns.

× I especially enjoy the large row of tall trees and swarm and colorful butterflies which made me which made the place very peaceful and interesting to explore.

✓ I especially enjoyed the long row of tall trees and the swarms of colorful butterflies, which made the place very peaceful and interesting to explore.

Tense should match past ('enjoyed') if referring to a past visit. Use 'long row' rather than 'large row', include article 'the' before 'swarms', pluralize 'swarms' and 'butterflies', and fix repetition 'which made me which made'. Also add comma before 'which'. Suggestion: ensure noun-adjective collocations, correct pluralization, and avoid repetition; maintain consistent tense.