Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the response more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers and repetition (e.g., "used to" multiple times), correct vocabulary ("slides" not "sleep") and limit to 3–4 sentences. Add one specific detail about a memory to enrich the answer.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often went with my mother to a nearby park where I played on the swings and the slide. My favorite was the seesaw because I could share it with my friend and we would race to see who could go higher.

제안: Give a direct topic sentence and complete supporting details without trailing off. Reduce repetition and add a specific reason or recent example. Use linking words (for example, therefore) to make it coherent and finish the thought.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. I like the greenery and fresh air, and I usually go with friends, which makes the visit more fun. For example, last weekend we had a picnic there and spent the afternoon playing frisbee.

제안: Be specific and avoid hesitations. Start with a clear stance, then explain with concrete details (e.g., number, features) and use linking words to connect ideas. Correct unclear phrases ("accompanied by Waterbury store"). Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, I would like more parks in my city. Many of our parks have lakes and large trees, which create a peaceful atmosphere. Because of this natural scenery, I find parks relaxing and believe more green spaces would improve residents' well-being.

제안: Provide a clear topic sentence and finish the idea. Use correct grammar ("have never been" not "have never went") and give a specific example of a country or park type you want to visit and why. Limit to 3–4 sentences and avoid trailing off.

예시: Yes, I'd like to visit parks in other countries, especially the large urban parks in Europe like Hyde Park in London. I have never been to a foreign park, so I want to compare their design and facilities with parks at home, particularly how they balance open lawns and walking paths.

× I enjoyed going to park a lot.

✓ I enjoyed going to the park a lot.

The noun 'park' here is a singular countable noun that requires an article. Use the definite article 'the' when referring to a specific or previously known park. Suggestion: say 'the park' when referring to a particular nearby park.

× I used to go to my nearby park with my mother.

✓ I used to go to my nearby park with my mother.

This sentence is acceptable, but you could optionally use the definite article 'the' ('the nearby park') for naturalness. No strict grammatical error.

× I used to ride the swings, uh, the sleep and the seesaw too.

✓ I used to ride the swings, the slide, and the seesaw too.

The word 'sleep' is incorrect here; the correct noun for a playground equipment is 'slide'. Also include commas and use 'and' before the final item in a list. This fixes word choice and parallel structure.

× I enjoyed the seesaw most because I could ride it with others, like with one of my friends.

✓ I enjoyed the seesaw the most because I could ride it with others, such as one of my friends.

Add the definite article 'the' before 'most' when making a superlative ('the most'). 'Like' used for examples is informal; use 'such as' for clarity. This improves grammar and register.

× Like I enjoy the greenery of the park.

✓ I enjoy the greenery of the park.

Remove the filler 'Like' at the beginning; it is a discourse marker but not needed. The rest of the sentence is correct: 'the park' refers to a known park.

× I also enjoy the company like I usually go to park with my friends, so I enjoy their company a lot at park and it also.

✓ I also enjoy the company. I usually go to the park with my friends, so I enjoy their company a lot in the park.

'Park' is a singular countable noun that needs the article 'the' when referring to a specific park. The original sentence is run-on and contains repetition; split into two sentences for clarity and use 'in the park' or 'at the park' consistently.

× so I enjoy their company a lot at park and it also.

✓ So I enjoy their company a lot in the park, and it also relaxes me.

Replace the vague pronoun 'it' with a clear verb phrase 'relaxes me' to complete the meaning. Also add the article 'the' before 'park'. Ensure sentence has a verb and clear object.

× In my city, uh, parks are uh, accompanied by Waterbury store, like a lot of park contains uh, lakes.

✓ In my city, parks are often located near water bodies; many parks contain lakes.

'Accompanied by Waterbury store' is unclear and likely incorrect; use 'located near water bodies' or 'near bodies of water'. Also plural agreement: 'a lot of park contains' should be 'many parks contain'. Use correct prepositions and plural nouns.

× So it, uh, the beauty of uh, water body and uh, the trees together really mesmerizes me and I enjoy it a lot and it also provides me relaxation.

✓ The beauty of the water and the trees together really mesmerizes me; I enjoy it a lot, and it also provides me with relaxation.

Use 'the water' or 'bodies of water' and include the definite article 'the' before 'trees'. Add the preposition 'with' after 'provides me' for correct collocation ('provides me with relaxation'). Split into clearer clauses.

× I would like to visit, uh, parks of uh, other countries, like mainly foreign parks.

✓ I would like to visit parks in other countries, mainly foreign parks.

Replace 'of other countries' with the more natural 'in other countries'. The modal 'would like' is correct for future desire; adjust preposition use.

× I have never went there, like I have never visited any foreign park.

✓ I have never gone there; I have never visited any foreign park.

After 'have' use the past participle 'gone', not the simple past 'went'. 'Have never visited' is correct. Use semicolon or split into two sentences for clarity.

× So I would like to see what is the difference between uh, the parks at foreign and the parks at.

✓ So I would like to see what the difference is between parks abroad and parks here.

Word order in indirect questions should be 'what the difference is' (not 'what is the difference'). 'Parks at foreign' is incorrect; use 'parks abroad' or 'parks in foreign countries' and contrast with 'parks here'. Ensure complete comparison object.