Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be direct with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition and incomplete phrases. Use one or two supporting details (specific memory or reason) and linking words. Keep it under five sentences and use natural vocabulary.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often visited with my family to play games and look at the flowers, which made me feel relaxed. Those visits also gave me a chance to explore nature and learn the names of different plants.

제안: Start with a clear statement answering the question, then add two specific supporting details linked with words like 'because' or 'also'. Avoid filler words and pronoun confusion. Use concise, natural phrases.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they help me stay healthy through walking or jogging. Also, I like observing different flowers and plants, which is both relaxing and interesting.

제안: Give a clear reasoned answer and avoid unrelated or unclear phrases. Use one or two concrete reasons (e.g., health, community space) with linking words. Remove strange or irrelevant details.

예시: Definitely. I would like more parks in my city because they provide safe places for exercise and socialising. Moreover, parks improve air quality and offer pleasant outdoor spaces for families.

제안: Answer directly and specify which park or type of park you'd like to visit, with clear reasons and linking words. Keep sentences concise and avoid grammatical errors; mention one or two benefits specifically.

예시: Yes, I would like to visit large botanical gardens or national parks in the future because they offer unique plants and peaceful trails. Visiting such places would allow me to relax and spend quality time with family while enjoying fresh air.

× It's very it is very best way in order to get out of the world for beautiful flowers and the.

✓ It is the best way to get away from the world and enjoy the beautiful flowers.

Sentence structure and word order are incorrect and redundant ('It's very it is very'). Article 'the' and preposition use are wrong ('get out of the world' -> 'get away from the world'). Remove redundancy, use 'the best way' and 'to enjoy the beautiful flowers' for clarity. Suggestions: remove repeated phrases, use 'get away from' for leaving a busy environment, use 'enjoy' before 'beautiful flowers'.

× I meant and to become very healthy by doing some recreational activities with their with our loved ones.

✓ I mean to become healthier by doing recreational activities with my loved ones.

Tense and pronoun errors: 'meant' is past but context requires present 'mean'; 'to become very healthy' is awkward -> 'become healthier'; pronoun 'their with our' is incorrect. Use 'my loved ones' and present tense 'I mean'. Suggestions: use present simple for general intentions, use comparative 'healthier'.

× Secondly, I can also say that it's the best way to know about the different flowers and the plants in the parks.

✓ Secondly, I can also say that it's the best way to learn about the different flowers and plants in parks.

Incorrect article use: 'the different flowers and the plants' is redundant. Use 'learn about' instead of 'know about'. Drop 'the' before 'plants' and 'parks' when speaking generally. Suggestions: use 'learn about' and omit unnecessary definite articles.

× Definitely yes. I would like to see more parks in my city because it is a it is a place where the people can have a robotic conversation.

✓ Definitely. I would like to see more parks in my city because they are places where people can have relaxed conversations.

Repeated phrase 'it is a it is a' and incorrect noun/pronoun agreement ('it' vs 'parks' plural). 'Robotic conversation' is likely wrong collocation; use 'relaxed conversations'. Suggestions: match number (plural 'parks' -> 'they'/'places'), remove repetition, choose appropriate lexical collocation.

× The teacher wrote an order to them.

✓ Teachers sometimes give instructions to students there.

This sentence is unclear and odd in context; 'wrote an order to them' is unnatural. If meaning is that teachers give instructions, rephrase to 'Teachers sometimes give instructions to students'. Suggestions: use natural verbs like 'give instructions' and clarify the subject.

× Last but not least, they can also enjoy the weather and the environment of the park in most useful manner.

✓ Last but not least, they can also enjoy the park's weather and environment in a very pleasant way.

Awkward adverb phrase 'in most useful manner' and article use 'the environment of the park'. Use 'park's weather and environment' and natural adverbial phrase 'in a very pleasant way' or 'in a useful way' depending on meaning. Suggestions: choose appropriate adverb phrase and possessive form for naturalness.

× As future is unpredictable so if I will put a chance in order to visit different parks in the future then definitely yes because it is a way by which I can spend a quality time with myself and or with my loved ones.

✓ Since the future is unpredictable, if I have a chance to visit different parks in the future, then definitely yes, because it is a way I can spend quality time alone or with my loved ones.

Incorrect future tense use: in conditional sentences, use present simple ('if I have a chance') rather than 'if I will'. Wordiness and article errors ('a quality time' -> 'quality time'). 'Myself and or with my loved ones' is incorrect pronoun order and conjunction use; use 'alone or with my loved ones'. Suggestions: use first conditional structure 'if + present, will', simplify phrases, fix pronoun order.

× Last but not least I can sit at parks are very important for everyone because it provide a lot of the comfortable space and natural environment in order to remain healthier.

✓ Last but not least, parks are very important for everyone because they provide a lot of comfortable space and a natural environment to stay healthy.

Multiple errors: sentence structure broken ('I can sit at parks are...'). Subject-verb agreement: 'parks... it provide' incorrect; use plural 'they provide'. Article and noun phrase errors: 'a lot of the comfortable space' -> 'a lot of comfortable space'; 'in order to remain healthier' -> 'to stay healthy'. Suggestions: ensure a single clear subject, match verb to plural subject, correct articles, and use 'stay healthy' or 'remain healthy'.