Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Reduce hesitation and repetition, begin with a clear topic sentence, and add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Aim for smoother pronunciation and correct verb forms (e.g., “I liked” not “I like” for past).

예시: I liked going to parks as a child because they were peaceful and green. For example, I used to run around the playground and climb the big oak tree, and I often had picnics with my family, which made those visits special.

제안: Start with a direct answer, correct tense and article use, and organize details with a linking phrase. Avoid fillers and provide a concise reason or habit.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. For instance, I walked in the park for an hour today despite the rain because I find it calming and romantic, and it helps me relax after a busy day.

제안: Answer directly, then explain with clear reasons and specific examples. Fix grammar (e.g., “I’m traveling”, “good parks”), and use linking words like “however” or “because”.

예시: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because they improve air quality and provide places for exercise. However, I am traveling in Nanjing now, which also has many lovely parks, and I plan to visit another one tomorrow.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence naming the park, explain why you want to go with specific reasons, and avoid repetition. Use more precise vocabulary (e.g., “busy on weekends”, “take lots of pictures”).

예시: Yes, I want to visit Jimmy’s Park because it is famous and very scenic. Many people visit on weekends, so I hope to go tomorrow to enjoy the views and take lots of photos.

× Yeah, when I was, uh, when I was a child, I like, I, I like, I like, uh, go to the parks because the park's so beautiful.

✓ Yeah, when I was a child, I liked to go to the parks because the parks were so beautiful.

The speaker refers to past habitual actions, so the past tense ('liked') should be used instead of present ('like'). Also use 'go to the parks' -> 'to go to the parks' for infinitive after 'liked', and plural agreement for 'parks' with 'were' for past description. Suggestion: use past simple for childhood habits and ensure verbs agree with plural nouns.

× And yeah, I like to play in the running and, uh, watch some trees and grass.

✓ And yeah, I liked to play running and watch the trees and grass.

The original mixes forms and uses 'play in the running' which is ungrammatical. For childhood past habit, use past ('liked') and 'play running' is awkward; better 'run' or 'play and run'. Also 'watch some trees and grass' should be 'watch the trees and grass' for specific objects. Suggestion: say 'I liked to play and run, and watch the trees and grass.'

× I just think it's beautiful.

✓ I just thought it was beautiful.

Referring to past feelings about parks as a child requires past tense 'thought' and 'was' rather than present 'think'/'is'. Suggestion: maintain past tense when describing past impressions.

× Of course, today I also went to the park and but it's, it's raining.

✓ Of course, today I also went to the park but it was raining.

The student uses both past ('went') and present ('it's raining') inconsistently; to describe an event that happened today, use past tense throughout: 'went' and 'was raining'. Remove extraneous 'and'.

× Umm, so yeah. So it's romantic. I go to the parks and the walks, uh, one hour and enjoy this moment.

✓ So yeah, it was romantic. I walked in the park for an hour and enjoyed the moment.

Tense inconsistency: speaker describes a past event so use past ('was', 'walked', 'enjoyed'). Original 'I go to the parks and the walks, one hour' is ungrammatical; correct structure is 'I walked in the park for an hour'. Suggestion: keep tense consistent and use 'for an hour' for duration.

× Uh, but now I'm not in my city. I'm travel, so uh, I'm in Nanjing, but there are so many parks also, uh, so yeah, I like good park.

✓ Uh, but now I'm not in my city. I'm traveling, so I'm in Nanjing, and there are many parks here, so I like good parks.

Use present continuous 'I'm traveling' to describe current temporary action. 'There are so many parks also' -> 'there are many parks here'. 'I like good park' should be 'I like good parks' (plural). Suggestion: use '-ing' form for ongoing actions and plural nouns where appropriate.

× Maybe tomorrow I will go to the other park.

✓ Maybe tomorrow I will go to another park.

'the other park' implies a specific second park previously mentioned; use 'another park' for a different, nonspecific park. 'Will go' is acceptable for future intention, so only article choice needed. Suggestion: use 'another' when referring to a nonspecific additional place.

× Yeah, I want to go there. Uh, Jimmy's, uh, it it's famous and so many people, uh, in common, common days place to me.

✓ Yeah, I want to go there. Jimmy's is famous and it's very popular on ordinary days.

Original has repetitions and awkward phrasing. Use 'Jimmy's is famous' rather than 'Jimmy's, it it's famous'. 'So many people in common, common days place to me' is unclear; 'very popular on ordinary days' conveys intended meaning. Suggestion: avoid repeating fillers and use clear adjectives/adverbials.

× So I will go to this place tomorrow yeah and uh yeah, I will take so many picture.

✓ So I will go to this place tomorrow and I will take many pictures.

Use plural 'pictures' instead of singular 'picture' when referring to multiple photos. 'I will go' and 'I will take' are correct future forms; just fix plural noun and remove filler. Suggestion: use 'many pictures' or 'a lot of pictures' for multiple photos.