Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Ответ хорош: ясно, конкретно и эмоционально. Чтобы получить максимальный балл, можно чуть сократить длинные фразы и добавить связку для логичности. Избегайте излишних подробностей и держите ответ в пределах 3–4 предложений.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because they gave me freedom to play. For example, I spent hours on swings and slides and had weekend picnics with my family. Those simple moments are among my happiest memories.

제안: Ответ понятен, но передача мыслей мешают заполнители (uh, umm), разговорные фразы и неуклюжие выражения («rechange my batteries»). Нужно говорить увереннее, убрать паузы-заполнители и использовать естественные фразы. Структурируйте ответ: прямая тема, причина и краткий пример или контраст.

예시: Not really. I prefer indoor activities like going to the cinema or working out at the gym because they fit my routine better. However, I sometimes visit parks when I need fresh air and a break from screens.

제안: Ответ повторяет фразу и содержит слово-дубли («from my point of view», «needs needs»). Также идея понятна, но можно выразить её короче и точнее, привести одно конкретное сравнение или причину. Уберите повторы и используйте связки для логики.

예시: I don't think we need many more parks because our city already has several green spaces. Instead, I would prioritize investing in schools and public transport to meet residents' needs.

제안: Ответ содержит интересные примеры, но время и форма глагола немного некорректны («I dreamed to visit»). Лучше использовать настоящее желание или план и добавить короткое объяснение, почему эти парки привлекательны.

예시: Yes, I'd love to visit Central Park in New York and parks in Japan famous for cherry blossoms because they offer iconic landscapes and unique seasonal beauty.

× I need to rechange my batteries, you know?

✓ I need to recharge my batteries, you know?

The student used 'rechange' which is not the correct verb. The correct phrasal verb is 'recharge' meaning to restore energy. Use 'recharge' with direct object 'my batteries'. Suggestion: Use 'recharge' to mean restore energy or take time to rest: 'I need to recharge my batteries.'

× From my point of view, there are a lot of green spaces and public gardens in my urban area and from my point of view.

✓ From my point of view, there are a lot of green spaces and public gardens in my urban area.

The phrase 'from my point of view' is repeated, creating redundancy. Remove the repeated prepositional phrase to make the sentence concise. Suggestion: Avoid repeating the same prepositional phrase; use it once at the start or end of the sentence.

× My government needs needs to prioritize other improvements, for example in building more schools or upgrading public transport.

✓ My government needs to prioritize other improvements, for example building more schools or upgrading public transport.

There is a repeated word 'needs needs' which is a typographical error; also 'needs to prioritize' is correct for third-person singular 'government'. Remove the duplicate and optionally simplify 'in building' to 'building' for natural phrasing. Suggestion: Proofread to remove duplicated words and prefer concise constructions: 'needs to prioritize other improvements, for example building more schools.'

× One day I dreamed to visit Central Park in New York City or some parks with unique features like Cherry Blossom Park in Japan.

✓ One day I dreamed of visiting Central Park in New York City or some parks with unique features like the Cherry Blossom parks in Japan.

The verb 'dream' in this context takes the preposition 'of' followed by the gerund 'visiting', not 'to visit'. Also add 'the' before 'Cherry Blossom parks' for specificity and use gerund after 'dreamed of'. Suggestion: Use 'dream of' + gerund: 'I dreamed of visiting...' and include articles where needed.

× Well, honestly, I'm not really into visiting parks. Uh, I like to spend my time catching a movie or hitting the gym and I'm not really motivated to visit them, umm, despite the scenery and relaxing atmosphere, Umm, but sometimes, uh, I need to rechange my batteries, you know?

✓ Well, honestly, I'm not really into visiting parks. I like to spend my time watching movies or going to the gym, and I'm not very motivated to visit them despite the scenery and relaxing atmosphere, but sometimes I need to recharge my batteries, you know?

Several issues: 'catching a movie' is informal and nonstandard; use 'watching movies' or 'catching a movie' is okay but better 'watching movies'. 'Hitting the gym' is idiomatic but 'going to the gym' is clearer. 'I'm not really motivated' is fine but 'not very motivated' is smoother. Remove filler words (uh, umm) and duplicate conjunctions. Replace 'rechange' with 'recharge'. Suggestion: Use standard verbs for activities ('watching movies', 'going to the gym'), avoid excessive fillers, and keep tense and aspect consistent.