Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Give a direct topic sentence answering the question, avoid irrelevant details, correct grammar (verb forms, articles) and keep it concise. Mention what you liked and why with one supporting detail. Use linking words if needed.

예시: Yes, I did enjoy spending time outdoors as a child, but because there were few parks near us I often went to the mall instead. For example, I liked walking around shops and watching people, which felt relaxed and entertaining.

제안: Start with a clear topic sentence saying whether you like parks now. Keep sentences shorter and correct repetition and grammar. Use a linking word (so/therefore) to connect reasons and give a specific alternative activity and why it is similar.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy parks now, but because there are none nearby I usually go to the beach or take road trips instead. These trips let me enjoy fresh air and scenery in the same way a park would, so they satisfy my need for nature.

제안: Answer directly and concisely, avoid hesitations and unclear phrases. Fix grammar (articles, tenses) and unclear words (e.g., 'very construct' is incorrect). Provide one clear reason with a specific benefit of having parks nearby.

예시: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because the nearest park is far away. Having parks close by would give residents a place for exercise and relaxation without travelling long distances.

제안: Start with a clear statement naming the park or place you want to visit. Give concise supporting details about distance and cost and express a plan or reason. Avoid vague or repetitive phrasing.

예시: Yes, I would like to visit the parks in Baguio in the future. They are about eight hours away and expensive to reach, but I hope to go when I can save enough money because I want to enjoy the cooler climate and mountain scenery.

× We don't have any parks here in the Philippines and when I was a child I used to love go to the mall and enjoy window shopping rather than going to bars because we don't have one.

✓ We didn't have any parks where I lived in the Philippines, and when I was a child I used to love going to the mall and enjoying window shopping rather than going to parks because we didn't have any.

Errors: 'We don't have any parks here in the Philippines' conflicts with past context; use past tense 'didn't have' to match 'when I was a child'. 'Used to love go' is incorrect: after 'used to' the verb takes the base form or gerund for continuous sense; 'used to love going' or 'used to go'. Also 'bars' is likely a wrong word; context indicates 'parks'. Suggestion: keep tense consistent and use 'going' after 'love' for activities.

× As an adult I would love to but since we don't have any parks here, what I do is just go to the beach or road trip so that I could feel the nature same as same as going to the parks as well.

✓ As an adult I would love to, but since we don't have any parks here, I just go to the beach or take road trips so that I can feel close to nature in the same way as visiting parks.

Errors: Mixed modal/tensed verbs: 'would love to' (conditional) is okay but follow-up uses 'what I do is just go' — present simple fine, but 'road trip' should be a verb phrase 'take road trips'. 'Could' implies past; use 'can' for present ability. Repetition 'same as same as' is redundant. 'Feel the nature' is unnatural; use 'feel close to nature'. Fix verb forms and word choice for clarity.

× Actually, yeah, I really love to see more parks in my city because we don't have one. I mean, we have one, but it's on another city. It's not on where I have lived as of the moment. So it's really far to go there. And it's not that, you know, it's very construct.

✓ Actually, yes, I'd really like to see more parks in my city because we don't have any here. I mean, there is one, but it's in another city. It's not where I live at the moment, so it's very far to go there. Also, it's not well developed.

Errors: 'we don't have one' vs 'any'—use 'any' with plural/unknown quantity. 'On another city' incorrect preposition; use 'in another city'. 'It's not on where I have lived as of the moment' mixes tenses and prepositions; use 'where I live at the moment'. 'It's not that, you know, it's very construct' is unclear—likely meant 'well constructed' or 'well developed'. Clarify with correct adjective and noun.

× Yes, but it's not here in our province. It is outside the province. It's in Baguio, but it travels. I have to travel more like 8 hours or more and it's very costly. So I think maybe in the future I would love to go there.

✓ Yes, but it's not here in our province; it's outside the province in Baguio. I have to travel about eight hours or more, and it's very costly. So I think maybe in the future I would like to go there.

Errors: 'it's in Baguio, but it travels' makes no sense; likely meant 'it's in Baguio, I have to travel.' Use clear subject and verb: 'I have to travel about eight hours'. 'More like 8 hours' is informal—use 'about eight hours'. 'I would love to go' is acceptable but 'would like to go' fits polite future intention. Keep tense and modality consistent.