Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be clear and fluent: give a direct topic sentence, then one or two specific supporting details. Avoid hesitations and fragmented sentences. Use linking words (for example, because, so) and correct grammar (e.g., ‘we lived on a road’). Aim for 2–3 coherent sentences under the 5-sentence limit.

예시: No, I didn’t often go to parks as a child because we lived on a remote road and the nearest park was in town. As a result, my family usually stayed at home or played near our house rather than visiting public parks.

제안: Provide a concise main idea followed by two specific reasons using linking words. Reduce fillers (uh, you know) and avoid repetition. Use precise vocabulary (e.g., ‘relaxing’, ‘disconnect from technology’). Keep answers natural and under five sentences.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they are relaxing and help me disconnect from technology. For example, walking among trees and listening to birds makes me feel calmer and more focused.

제안: Start with a clear direct response, then add one or two specific reasons or benefits using a linking word such as ‘because’ or ‘so’. Expand slightly to show opinion and relevance to the city (health, community).

예시: Yes, I would like to see more parks in the city because they would provide green space for exercise and socialising. More parks could improve public health and make neighbourhoods more attractive.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence (direct answer) and then give a brief explanation with a specific example or plan. Avoid sounding negative; explain reasons and perhaps mention a possible future change. Use linking words like ‘because’ or ‘however’.

예시: Not specifically, although I enjoy spending time in parks when I come across them. For example, if I’m walking to work and pass a park, I often stop to read or rest, but I don’t usually plan visits in advance.

× I mostly. Stayed home because our well for us.

✓ I mostly stayed home because our well was close to our house.

The original is a sentence fragment and has unclear structure. Combine fragments into one complete sentence, use past tense 'stayed' to match 'went', and clarify relationship with 'well' by adding 'was close to our house'. Use full clause instead of fragment.

× The park was somewhere in town and we we we grew up in an in a Rd.

✓ The park was somewhere in town, and we grew up on a road there.

The original contains repetitions and awkward phrasing. Remove repeated words, join clauses with a comma and conjunction, and use the preposition 'on' with 'road'. Keep past tense 'grew up' to match context.

× Nowadays I do enjoy going for packs.

✓ Nowadays I do enjoy going to parks.

The verb 'go' takes the preposition 'to' with destinations like 'parks'. Also 'packs' is a misspelling of 'parks'. Use present simple habit 'do enjoy' fits 'nowadays'.

× It's, uh, comforting. It's, uh, you know, it's, it, it makes you feel one with nature, you know, away from, uh, the technology and other computational distractions.

✓ It's comforting; it makes you feel at one with nature, away from technology and other digital distractions.

Reduce hesitation tokens; use the idiom 'at one with nature'. 'the technology' is unnecessary—use 'technology' generally. 'Computational distractions' is unusual—'digital distractions' is clearer. Punctuation adjusted for clarity.

× Think more parks in the city would be nice.

✓ I think more parks in the city would be nice.

Missing subject 'I' makes the sentence nonstandard. Add the subject to form a complete sentence and use present conditional 'would be' appropriately.

× Not really. I do enjoy nature, but I'm not enthusiastic enough to plan for a visit to the park.

✓ Not really. I do enjoy nature, but I'm not enthusiastic enough to plan a visit to a park.

'Plan for a visit' is grammatically acceptable but 'plan a visit' is more natural. Use 'a park' instead of 'the park' because the speaker refers to parks in general, not a specific park.

× Most times when I go to the park it just so happens that I'm passing through it and I sit down and enjoy my time there.

✓ Most of the time, when I go to a park, it just so happens that I'm passing through it, so I sit down and enjoy my time there.

Adjust determiners and articles: 'Most times' -> 'Most of the time'; use 'a park' for general reference; add commas for readability and conjunction 'so' to link cause and effect. Tenses remain present to match habitual action.