Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 発音と語彙選択の誤りを直し、文を簡潔にまとめる練習をしてください。具体的には地名や名詞の発音（'parks' や 'peers'）を明確にし、繰り返しや吃音（umm, uh）を減らして、主題文＋具体例（何をしたか、どのくらいの頻度か、結果）という構成を守ると良いです。さらに動詞の時制と形（’helped me grow up’ のように正しい形）を確認しましょう。

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I visited them with my friends almost every weekend, and we often played soccer and baseball. These activities helped me become more active and sociable.

제안: 表現を整理して論理的に繋げる練習をしてください。'perks' や 'on a friend' のような発音混乱を直し、接続詞（for example, so, because）を使って主張と理由を明確に述べましょう。答えは一文目で結論を述べ、その後に理由や具体例を1〜2文で補足する構成が理想です。

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks, but I now prefer a quieter experience. For example, I usually sit on a bench and chat with a friend after work, which helps me relax and unwind.

제안: 意味が不明瞭な箇所を整理し、語彙を正しく使う訓練をしてください。'persons' はここでは不適切で 'parks' が正しい可能性があります。また、『現代では〜があるため外で遊ばない』という因果関係を明確に説明する際、具体例（例：ビデオゲームや安全の問題）を挙げて理由を支持すると説得力が増します。不要な繰り返しや途切れを減らし、論理的な接続語を使ってください。

예시: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they give children safe places to play. Nowadays many kids stay indoors playing video games, so additional parks would encourage outdoor exercise and social interaction.

제안: 短く明確な主張を最初に述べ、続けて理由を整理して述べる練習をしてください。冗長な語句（'you know', 重複した語）を避け、'no' を使う場合は代替案（what you prefer）をはっきり示すと良いです。文法面では動詞の形や冠詞、句の切れ目に注意しましょう。

예시: Not really — I don't have a specific park in mind. I usually prefer a simple local park where I can sit with a friend and relax after a busy day, which helps me feel refreshed.

× Yes, I like to go into Paris vanilla as a child, so I went there with my peers every weekend.

✓ Yes, I liked going to parks as a child, so I went there with my peers every weekend.

The student used incorrect vocabulary ('Paris vanilla' and 'into') and mixed tenses. Use past tense 'liked' for a past habit. 'Parks' (plural) matches context and standard collocation 'go to parks' rather than 'go into'. Improve by memorizing common collocations (go to a park, play in the park) and ensure past-tense for childhood habits. Grammar problem type ID: 1

× Umm, I usually play soccer, baseball and other sports, umm, sports, uh, which helped me grown up.

✓ I usually played soccer, baseball and other sports, which helped me grow up.

The speaker describes past habitual activities, so past tense 'played' is appropriate. 'Helped me grown up' is incorrect: after 'helped' use the base verb 'grow' (helped me grow up). Also keep subject-verb agreement and consistent tense. Practice patterns: 'helped me + base verb'. Grammar problem type ID: 5

× Yes, I still like going to perks now but the way to enjoy it changed a lot.

✓ Yes, I still like going to parks now, but the way I enjoy them has changed a lot.

Vocabulary errors: 'perks' -> 'parks'. Maintain subject reference: 'the way I enjoy them' (parks plural). Use present perfect 'has changed' to describe a change from past to present. Keep pronoun agreement and tense consistency. Grammar problem type ID: 11

× Just sitting on the bench and chatting on a friend about and for example, uh, what happened? That on the day is enough for me which made me relaxed after a busy day and it helps me.

✓ Just sitting on a bench and chatting with a friend about what happened that day is enough for me; it relaxes me after a busy day and helps me unwind.

Use 'on a bench' is acceptable but 'sitting on a bench' or 'on the bench' depends; 'with a friend' is correct preposition, not 'on a friend'. Word order: 'about what happened that day' is correct. 'Which made me relaxed' is incorrect: use simple present 'it relaxes me' or 'it made me relaxed' (past). Prefer 'helps me unwind' for natural expression. Practice prepositions with verbs (chat with, sit on). Grammar problem type ID: 11

× Yes, I'd like to see more persons in our city so that children can appreciate the chance to play soccer.

✓ Yes, I'd like to see more parks in our city so that children can have the chance to play soccer.

'Persons' is incorrect here; the intended word is 'parks'. Use 'have the chance' or 'be able to' rather than 'appreciate the chance'. Ensure noun choice fits context. Article 'the' before 'chance' optional but 'have the chance' is natural. Grammar problem type ID: 1

× Nowadays, listeners power, uh, allows children by soccer or some sport using ball, which prevents them from playing outside and let them.

✓ Nowadays, the lack of safe outdoor spaces or the popularity of electronic devices prevents children from playing soccer or other ball sports outside.

Original is unintelligible: 'listeners power' is incorrect. Rephrase to convey likely meaning: factors (lack of spaces or devices) prevent outdoor play. Use singular/plural agreement 'prevents children' (subject 'lack' singular). Use parallel structure 'playing soccer or other ball sports'. Practice vocabulary for causes and effects and use clear subjects. Grammar problem type ID: 26

× No, for me just ordinary person now because you know as I referred just sitting on the bench and talk talking about day with my friend is just enough which is super relaxing and after busy day I can refresh by the activities.

✓ No, for me it's enough to be an ordinary person now because, as I mentioned, just sitting on a bench and talking about the day with my friend is very relaxing and helps me refresh after a busy day.

The sentence lacks the verb 'is' ('for me it's enough'). Use 'as I mentioned' for clarity. Remove redundant words ('talk talking'). 'Refresh' needs object or 'help me refresh' is correct. Use 'very relaxing' instead of 'super'. Maintain word order and include necessary verbs. Practice reducing redundancy and using linking phrases. Grammar problem type ID: 26