Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Сосредоточьтесь на правильном времени глаголов, порядке слов и чётком выражении мыслей. Начинайте с темы, затем добавляйте 1–2 конкретных детали, используя связки (for example, because, so). Избегайте лишних фраз и дублирования. Попрактикуйте прошедшее время (liked, went) и корректные предлоги (to the park, with my friends).

예시: Yes, I liked going to parks as a child because I often went there with my friends. For example, we would sit on the grass and talk about our plans for the next day. This made those visits fun and memorable.

제안: Упражняйтесь в чётком перечислении и согласовании слов (I can breathe fresh air; go with my friends). Используйте связки (and, also, for example) экономно и избегайте пауз и «uh». Дайте 2–3 конкретные действия, которые вы делаете в парке, в правильной форме (have a picnic, play games, jog).

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they have many plants and fresh air. I usually go with friends to have a picnic, play games, or go for a jog, which helps me relax.

제안: Говорите прямо о желании и давайте конкретные причины. Избегайте неправильной структуры («I firstly visit»). Лучше сказать «I have visited» или «I visited». Уточните, почему нужны новые парки (more green space, places for exercise), используйте связки (because, for example, so that).

예시: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because green spaces improve air quality and provide places for exercise. For example, I visited a famous park called Shahristan where I enjoyed the grass and fresh air.

제안: Сформулируйте план чётко: используйте будущее время правильно (I would like to go / I will visit) и уберите заполнители («uh»). Назовите одно место и 2–3 действия, которые вы там сделаете, с связкой (for example / to). Делайте предложения компактными (максимум 3–4 предложения).

예시: Yes, I would like to visit a garden park near my college in the future. I plan to go there with my friends to have a picnic, go jogging, and relax because it will be a peaceful place to unwind.

× Yes, when I was a child, I like going to park because we prefer to go to the park with my friend and we have the communication at the chat.

✓ Yes, when I was a child, I liked going to the park because we preferred to go with my friend and we talked while chatting.

The sentence mixes present and past tenses (like/prefer) while referring to childhood, so past tense should be used. Use 'liked' and 'preferred' for past habitual actions. Also use the definite article 'the park' and correct collocation 'talked while chatting' for clarity.

× We can go to there anywhere.

✓ We could go anywhere.

The phrase 'go to there' is ungrammatical; use 'go there' or better 'go anywhere'. Also tense adjusted to past habitual 'could' to match previous past context.

× We talk about we planning the tomorrow plans and say that together.

✓ We talked about our plans for tomorrow and made them together.

Sentence had incorrect word order and unnecessary words. 'We planning the tomorrow plans' is ungrammatical; use 'our plans for tomorrow' and 'made them together' to express joint planning. Past tense used for consistency.

× Well, now, yes, I like going to park because there are so many natural plants and I can breathe air, the fresh air and also can with my together my friend, uh, do the picnic and play video games and, uh, joggies and also the.

✓ Well, yes, I like going to the park now because there are many plants and I can breathe fresh air, and I can go with my friend to have a picnic, play video games, jog, and relax.

Use 'the park' with definite article. 'Natural plants' is awkward; 'plants' or 'trees' is better. 'Breathe air, the fresh air' is redundant; use 'breathe fresh air'. Correct verb forms: 'can go with my friend', 'have a picnic', 'play', 'jog', 'relax'. Remove filler words and fix word order.

× Yes, I would like to go to more parks because I firstly visit one of the most famous in my country.

✓ Yes, I would like to have more parks because I first visited one of the most famous parks in my country.

'Firstly' is awkward; 'first' or 'first visited' fits. Need 'parks' after 'famous'. Use past tense 'visited' if referring to a past experience. 'Go to more parks' can be 'have more parks' (meaning more should exist) or 'visit more parks'; adjusted to context.

× It's called Shahristan. There are so many natural plants and and grew grass and I can breathe air, fresh air at.

✓ It's called Shahristan. There are many plants and growing grass, and I can breathe fresh air there.

'So many natural plants and and grew grass' mixes noun and verb forms; use 'plants and growing grass' or 'plants and grass'. 'Breathe air, fresh air at' is incorrect order; use 'breathe fresh air there'.

× Yes, I will go to the park college, uh, the garden park, which, uh, we can together go to the my friend and uh, do the picnic and so also, uh, play video games and also jogs also relax.

✓ Yes, I will go to the college garden park, where I can go with my friend to have a picnic, play video games, jog, and relax.

The sentence had redundant fillers and incorrect word order. Use 'where' for place clause. 'We can together go to the my friend' is incorrect; use 'go with my friend'. Use base verbs after infinitive forms: 'to have a picnic, play, jog, and relax'. Also 'jogs' should be 'jog'.