Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct small grammar/repetition errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words (e.g., “for example”, “also”). Avoid rhetorical questions like “Who doesn't?” which are informal and add little content.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. For example, I often went with my dad or grandmother and spent hours on the swings and slides, playing games with other children in the playground.

제안: Provide a direct topic sentence and follow with two specific activities, using a linking word to connect ideas. Remove filler words like “uh” and avoid repeating “or” too much.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. Nowadays I mainly visit them to exercise and take short walks, and I also sometimes meet friends there for a chat.

제안: Answer directly and then give two specific, distinct reasons with linking words. Avoid repeating the same idea twice (spending time with family/friends). Use slightly more varied vocabulary (e.g., “community space”, “relaxation”).

예시: Yes, I would. More parks would provide valuable community spaces where people can relax and socialize, and they also offer places for picnics and outdoor activities with family and friends.

제안: Be specific and correct grammatical errors (e.g., use past participle/infinitive correctly), avoid repetition, and clarify what “machines” means (rides). Structure with a topic sentence, reason, and a brief explanation using linking words (e.g., “however”).

예시: Yes, I would like to visit a large amusement park in Colm because I have always wanted to try the roller coasters and other rides. However, it is quite far from where I live and would be expensive to travel to.

× I used to go to the park, to a park with my dad or sometimes my with my grandmother.

✓ I used to go to the park, to a park with my dad or sometimes with my grandmother.

The phrase contained an extra pronoun 'my' before 'with my grandmother' which is redundant and incorrect. Remove the extra 'my' so the prepositional phrase 'with my grandmother' is correct. Suggestion: read aloud to catch repeated words and remove duplicates.

× I used to slide and swing and enjoy playing in a place full of other children.

✓ I used to slide and swing and enjoy playing in a place full of other children.

No grammatical correction required for tense or -ing usage here; the gerund 'playing' correctly follows 'enjoy'. Included for completeness: ensure parallel structure 'slide and swing and enjoy playing' is acceptable, though stylistically you could say 'I used to slide, swing, and play.'

× But these days I go to parks just to work out or for a short walk or even to meet a friend, not to, uh, play on swings and slides anymore.

✓ But these days I go to parks just to work out or for a short walk or even to meet a friend, not to play on swings and slides anymore.

The original contained a filler 'uh' and an unnecessary comma before 'play' which interrupts flow. Grammatically the infinitive 'to play' is correct after 'not to'. Remove filler and extra punctuation. Suggestion: avoid hesitations in prepared speech; use 'not to play on swings and slides anymore.'

× Yeah, there is a huge amusement park in Colm and I always wanted to go there and try some of the machines.

✓ Yeah, there is a huge amusement park in Colm and I have always wanted to go there and try some of the rides.

The clause 'I always wanted' implies past desire; because the speaker still desires it, present perfect 'have always wanted' is more appropriate. Also 'machines' is an odd collocation for an amusement park; 'rides' is the correct noun. Use present perfect to link past desire with the present.

× And yeah, I'm always looking forward to go there and visit the park, but it's a bit far away from me and I cannot afford that.

✓ And yeah, I'm always looking forward to going there and visiting the park, but it's a bit far away from me and I cannot afford it.

After 'looking forward to' the verb must be in -ing form: 'going' and 'visiting'. Also 'afford that' is less natural; 'afford it' or 'afford the trip' is better. Use 'it' as the pronoun for the situation. Suggestion: remember the fixed expression 'look forward to' + gerund.