Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the answer more concise, correct grammar, and add one specific detail to make it vivid. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition.

예시: Yes — I loved going to the park with my dad and my sister. We often rode our bikes together and spent time on the wooden playground; I especially remember racing down the small hill near the swings.

제안: Correct the grammar and use a clear topic sentence. Explain briefly why you don't enjoy parks now and, if possible, mention an alternative activity you prefer. Use linking words to connect ideas.

예시: Not really — I don't enjoy parks as much now because they tend to be geared toward young children. Instead, I prefer jogging in larger public gardens or visiting cafés with friends.

제안: Start with a direct statement, then give specific reasons and an example of the type of park you'd like. Remove filler words and be precise about benefits.

예시: Yes, I would — our city needs more green gardens and safe play areas for children because they provide space for exercise and social interaction. For example, a shaded playground with benches and community workshops would help kids practise language and make friends.

제안: Make your goal clear with a topic sentence, then list specific features you want in a future park (fresh air, cafés, exercise facilities). Remove hesitations and repeat words. Use linking words like 'because' or 'and'.

예시: In the future I would like to visit a large city park that has fresh air, several cafés, and outdoor exercise equipment because it would be pleasant for relaxing and staying fit.

× When I was a child, I loved going to the park with my dad and we went there for biking with my sister also.

✓ When I was a child, I loved going to the park with my dad, and we went there to ride bikes with my sister.

The original uses 'for biking' which is a less natural prepositional phrase here and mixes forms; 'to ride bikes' is clearer and uses the infinitive to express purpose. Also add a comma before 'and' to separate independent clauses. Suggestion: use 'to ride bikes' or 'to go biking' to express the activity.

× And we also play like they're having a playground there, so we also play there.

✓ There was also a playground there, so we played there.

The original sentence mixes present tense 'play' with past context and uses 'they're having' incorrectly to describe a place feature. Replace with past tense 'was' for the playground and 'played' to match past narration. Suggestion: maintain consistent tense and describe the existence of the playground directly ('There was a playground').

× Nowadays I not quite enjoy going to the park because right now I I grew up and at the park usually it's for kids so I'm a grown *** person so park is not is no longer interested to me.

✓ Nowadays I don't really enjoy going to the park because I have grown up, and parks are usually for children, so I am no longer interested in them.

Multiple errors: incorrect negation 'I not quite enjoy' should be 'I don't really enjoy' (present tense negative with auxiliary do). 'I grew up' is past but the present perfect 'I have grown up' fits current state. 'At the park usually it's for kids' is ungrammatical; use 'parks are usually for children'. 'park is not is no longer interested to me' mixes forms and uses 'interested' incorrectly; correct is 'I am no longer interested in them'. Suggestion: use proper negation, present perfect for change over time, plural 'parks', and 'interested in'.

× I would love to see more green gardens and kids places in my city because, uh, it's a place where, uh, entertaining kids and it's also a place where kids can communicate and improve their speaking skills.

✓ I would love to see more green gardens and places for kids in my city because they provide entertainment for children and also give kids opportunities to communicate and improve their speaking skills.

'Kids places' is informal and awkward; use 'places for kids' or 'children's areas'. 'It's a place where entertaining kids' is ungrammatical—use 'they provide entertainment for children' or 'they are places for entertaining children'. Also replace vague 'it's' with plural 'they' to match 'gardens and places'. Suggestion: use clear noun phrases ('places for kids') and correct verb structures ('provide entertainment', 'give opportunities').

× In the future, it is my own country, I want to go to the park where they having fresh air there.

✓ In the future, in my own country, I want to go to a park where there is fresh air.

The original has awkward clause 'it is my own country' placed incorrectly and uses 'they having' which is incorrect present participle phrase. Use 'in my own country' as a modifier and 'where there is fresh air' to state existence. Suggestion: place the country modifier next to 'In the future' and use 'there is' for existence.

× Many people go there and also has umm, many uh, cafeteria, umm, more supplements, uh, for exercise, exercise.

✓ Many people go there, and it also has many cafeterias and more facilities for exercise.

Subject-verb agreement and pronoun reference errors: 'Many people go there and also has' mixes plural subject with singular verb; rephrase with 'it also has' referring to the park. 'Cafeteria' should be plural 'cafeterias' if many, and 'more supplements for exercise' is unclear—use 'facilities for exercise'. Suggestion: ensure the clause subjects match their verbs and choose appropriate nouns ('cafeterias', 'exercise facilities').