Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Reduce hesitations and repetition, give a clear topic sentence then one or two specific supporting details. Use smoother grammar: past tense and correct prepositions (e.g., "when I was a child," "play on the swings"). Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

예시: Yes. I loved going to parks when I was a child because many of my neighbors played there. For example, we would play on the swings and climb the jungle gym, which made weekends very fun.

제안: Make a concise topic sentence then give a clear reason using linking words like "but" or "because." Correct verb forms and remove redundant words. Mention frequency (e.g., "rarely") and a brief reason.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy parks, but I rarely go now because I am busy studying. For instance, I spend most evenings preparing for exams to get into a good university.

제안: Answer directly then give one or two specific reasons. Use clearer grammar and linking words like "because" and "for example." Avoid vague phrases like "connect with the society"—say "socialize" or "make friends."

예시: Yes, I would. I think more parks would encourage people to socialize because many currently stay indoors using devices. For example, parks provide spaces where children can play together and families can meet.

제안: Give a direct answer and then state a concrete plan or example. Use correct modal verbs and simpler phrasing (e.g., "I will ask a friend for recommendations"), and avoid repeating "maybe." Limit to 2–3 sentences.

예시: Yes, I would like to visit more parks in the future. For example, I will ask a friend for recommendations and then visit the park he recommends next month.

× Yes, I like like to go to the park, park one child because there's many friends of uh with me and I'd like to play some toys and some facilities in the parks with my friends.

✓ Yes, I liked going to the park as a child because there were many friends with me and I liked to play with toys and use the facilities in the parks with my friends.

Issues: duplicated word 'like like' (typo/redundancy), wrong present tense 'I like' for a past habit (should be past 'I liked'), incorrect 'park, park one child' unclear phrase fixed, 'there's many friends' uses contraction with plural subject (use 'there were many friends'), 'play some toys' and 'play facilities' are incorrect collocations (use 'play with toys' and 'use the facilities'). Suggestion: Use past tense for childhood habits, remove duplicated words, match verb forms to plural subjects, and use correct collocations.

× Yeah, I still like to go into parks now, but I seldom go it go the to the park because I'm very busy now.

✓ Yes, I still like going to parks now, but I seldom go to the park because I'm very busy.

Issues: 'like to go into parks' is awkward; 'like going to parks' is more natural. Redundant 'now' twice. 'seldom go it go the to the park' contains repeated and misplaced words; correct preposition is 'go to the park'. Suggestion: Remove redundancy, use correct preposition 'to', and prefer gerund 'going' for general likes.

× I need to worry about my school grades for me to graduate to a decent university, so I still strive to work.

✓ I need to focus on my school grades so I can get into a decent university, so I still work hard.

Issues: 'need to worry about' is unnatural; 'worry' implies anxiety rather than studying—use 'focus on' or 'study for'. 'for me to graduate to a decent university' is incorrect structure and preposition; use 'get into' or 'graduate from' depending on meaning. 'strive to work' is awkward; use 'work hard' or 'study hard'. Suggestion: Use clear verbs for goals (focus, study, get into), correct infinitive/clause structures and natural collocations.

× Yes, of course, you know, nowadays many people just staying at home and looking on their devices, watching videos, playing games.

✓ Yes, of course. Nowadays many people just stay at home and look at their devices, watching videos and playing games.

Issues: 'staying' should be base form 'stay' after 'many people' (present simple for habitual action). 'looking on their devices' uses wrong preposition; use 'look at their devices'. Suggestion: Use present simple for habitual behaviors and correct prepositions.

× But while I was young, many people go outside that help us, help the children to connect with the society and make friends.

✓ But when I was young, many people went outside, which helped us, the children, connect with society and make friends.

Issues: 'while I was young' is acceptable but 'when I was young' is more natural. 'many people go outside' should be past 'went outside'. 'that help us' wrong relative clause and tense; use 'which helped us'. 'help the children to connect with the society' awkward article and infinitive; use 'helped us, the children, connect with society'. Suggestion: Match past tense throughout, use correct relative pronoun 'which', and omit unnecessary articles before 'society'.

× I think definitely yes, but I didn't know which park I want to go because I didn't have many information about this.

✓ I definitely think so, but I don't know which park I want to go to because I don't have much information about them.

Issues: Mixed tenses: 'I think definitely yes' should be 'I definitely think so'. Student uses past 'didn't know' but context is present/future preference—use present 'don't know'. 'which park I want to go' needs preposition 'to' at end. 'didn't have many information' incorrect quantifier and countability: 'information' is uncountable so use 'much information' and match tense. Suggestion: Keep present tense for current intentions, use correct preposition 'go to', and use 'much' with uncountable nouns.

× Maybe I will talk with my friend, he maybe will share me with some parts he think is great and amazing.

✓ Maybe I will talk with my friend; he may share with me some places he thinks are great and amazing.

Issues: Word order and pronoun placement: 'share me with' is incorrect; correct is 'share with me' or 'share something with me'. 'some parts' likely means 'places' or 'parks'; changed to 'places'. 'he think is' subject-verb agreement and tense: use 'he thinks are' for plural 'places'. Also 'maybe' repeated awkwardly; use 'may' or 'might'. Suggestion: Use correct verb patterns for 'share', ensure subject-verb agreement, and choose appropriate nouns ('places').

× I maybe will collect his information and go there.

✓ I may collect his recommendations and go there.

Issues: 'I maybe will' is incorrect modal placement; use 'I may' or 'I might'. 'collect his information' is odd; better 'collect his recommendations' or 'get information from him'. Suggestion: Use correct modal structures ('may/might + base verb') and natural collocations for gathering suggestions.