Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the answer grammatically correct, concise and more coherent. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words (e.g., “because,” “for example,” or “also”). Avoid repetition and keep it under five sentences.

예시: Yes. I loved going to parks as a child because my whole family often went there together. For example, we celebrated my birthday in the park with a big cake and many attractions, and there were nice cafés where my parents would sit while we played.

제안: Use a clear topic sentence and smooth linking words to show routine and feelings. Correct verb forms and reduce repetition. Mention one or two sensory details to make the answer specific.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. I usually take a book and a coffee and sit on a bench because I like reading while listening to birdsong; it helps me relax.

제안: Give a direct opinion first, then support it with specific reasons and correct grammar. Use linking words (e.g., “because,” “for example,” “so”) and avoid vague phrases. Limit to two or three sentences.

예시: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide a pleasant place for people to meet and relax. For example, families come to play with their children and friends often sit and drink coffee while chatting.

제안: Answer directly and then give one or two clear reasons why you want to visit, using correct tense and smoother phrasing. Avoid filler sounds and overly emotional exclamations; be specific about what attracts you.

예시: Yes, I would like to visit Disneyland in the future because it was my childhood dream. I have seen many beautiful photos on Instagram and I want to experience the rides and lively atmosphere in person.

× Parks was interested to me when I as being a child, I go to the parks with my dad, with my mom and all family members and I celebrate my birthday here like biggest birthday cake, the biggest party in the park.

✓ Parks were interesting to me when I was a child. I went to the parks with my dad, my mom and all my family members, and I celebrated my birthday there with the biggest birthday cake and the biggest party in the park.

Multiple errors: 'Parks was' uses singular verb with plural subject (singular/plural issue) so use 'Parks were' or rephrase to 'The parks were interesting' or better 'Parks were interesting to me.' 'when I as being a child' is incorrect structure and verb form; use 'when I was a child' (past tense). 'I go to the parks' should be past tense 'I went to the parks' to match 'when I was a child.' 'all family members' needs possessive 'all my family members.' 'I celebrate my birthday here' should be past tense 'I celebrated my birthday there.' Also 'here' vs 'there' — use 'there' for past visits. Suggestion: keep consistent past tense for childhood events and ensure subject-verb agreement and correct possessives.

× Yes, I still like go to the park now I take my book, my coffee and sitting in the park, I read my book, drink my coffee, I feel it I hear the bird sounds, the.

✓ Yes, I still like going to the park. Now I take my book and my coffee and sit in the park. I read my book, drink my coffee, and listen to the birds singing.

Errors: 'I still like go to the park' is wrong verb form after 'like' — 'like' requires gerund 'going' (verb + -ing form). 'I take my book, my coffee and sitting' mixes tenses and forms; use parallel verbs in present simple: 'take' and 'sit' (not 'sitting'). 'I read my book, drink my coffee' should maintain parallel structure and punctuation. 'I feel it I hear the bird sounds, the.' is ungrammatical and unclear; use 'I listen to the birds singing' or 'I hear the bird sounds.' Suggestion: use gerund after like, keep parallel verb forms, and simplify the sentence into clear clauses.

× I think that the parks are very attractive zones in our country because the a lot of people are come here with their child's, they meeting someone's, they drink coffee, doing the best talks and everything is good in the parks.

✓ I think that parks are very attractive places in our country because a lot of people come here with their children; they meet friends, drink coffee, have good conversations, and everything is pleasant in the parks.

Problems: unnecessary 'the' before 'parks' and 'a lot' ('the a lot of people' is incorrect) — use 'a lot of people.' 'are come here' is incorrect verb form — use simple present 'come' for habitual actions. 'their child's' incorrectly uses singular possessive; use plural 'their children.' 'they meeting someone's' uses wrong verb form and incorrect possessive/pronoun; use 'they meet people' or 'they meet friends.' 'doing the best talks' is awkward; use 'have good conversations' or 'talk.' Also avoid extra definite articles when speaking generally. Suggestion: use simple present for habitual actions, correct plural possessives, and natural collocations like 'have conversations.'

× Yes, I want this is a Disneyland park uh Disneyland park is my childhood dream and I love this place.

✓ Yes, I want to go to Disneyland. Disneyland is my childhood dream and I love that place.

Errors: 'I want this is a Disneyland park' is ungrammatical — use 'I want to go to Disneyland' to express desire (modal/verb structure). 'Disneyland park' is redundant; 'Disneyland' suffices. 'I love this place' is acceptable, but when referring to a place mentioned earlier use 'that place' in this context. Suggestion: use 'want to + verb' to express desires and avoid redundant nouns.

× I see the pictures in the Instagram or another social media platforms and I feel like this Oh my God, it's so beautiful and I want to go to here to sing everywhere.

✓ I see pictures on Instagram and other social media platforms, and I feel like, 'Oh my God, it's so beautiful.' I want to go there and sing everywhere.

Preposition errors and others: use 'on Instagram' not 'in the Instagram.' 'another social media platforms' mixes singular and plural; use 'other social media platforms.' 'I want to go to here' incorrectly uses 'to' with 'here' — use 'go there' for a distant place or 'go here' if you are at the location; in this context 'go there' is correct. Also punctuation and reported feeling need commas or quotes; break into clearer clauses. Suggestion: use correct prepositions ('on' for platforms), match singular/plural consistently, and use 'go there' for destination.