Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more direct and use past tense consistently. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific details. Remove filler words such as “umm” and avoid repeating phrases. Use linking words (e.g., because, so) to make the answer coherent.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often went with my father while he jogged, and I enjoyed feeding the birds and playing on the swings because there were many children there.

제안: Answer directly and complete the thought. Use correct grammar (e.g., “to go for exercise” or “to exercise”) and avoid incomplete sentences. Use one linking phrase to add detail (for example, “for example” or “such as”).

예시: Absolutely. I still enjoy going to parks, not for jogging but to relax and walk. For example, Lumpini Park in Bangkok is a pleasant place where I can wander around after exercise and watch people and birds.

제안: Give a clear opinion and explain reasons briefly. Use correct sentence structure and fewer hesitations. Use linking words like “because” and “so that” to connect reasons and consequences. Be specific about what you want (more small parks, better access, etc.).

예시: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because many neighborhoods, especially in Bangkok, lack green spaces. More small parks scattered around the city would allow people to access nature easily and improve residents’ health.

제안: Be concise and avoid repetition. State the park clearly and give one or two specific reasons using linking words (e.g., “because,” “to compare”). Use correct names and avoid repeating phrases like “in my life.”

예시: Yes, I would like to visit Central Park in New York because it is very large and iconic. I want to compare its layout and atmosphere with parks in Thailand, such as Lumpini Park, to see cultural and design differences.

× I like it. Umm, I remember that when I was a child I usually went to the park with my father to wait for him for jogging, umm.

✓ I liked it. Umm, I remember that when I was a child I usually went to the park with my father to wait for him after his jogging.

The response refers to childhood, a past time, so the main verb should be in the past tense ('liked') rather than present ('like'). Also 'to wait for him for jogging' is unnatural: use 'after his jogging' or 'while he was jogging' to express the sequence or simultaneous actions. Suggestion: use consistent past tense when describing past habits and choose a clearer phrase for timing (e.g., 'while he was jogging' or 'after he had finished jogging').

× Absolutely. I like going to park not to do some exercise like jogging.

✓ Absolutely. I like going to the park not to do exercise like jogging.

The noun 'park' requires the definite article 'the' when speaking generally about visiting parks in context; this is an article error but also affects third person agreement context. Remove 'some' before 'exercise' because 'exercise' as an uncountable noun does not need 'some' here. Suggestion: use 'the park' and treat 'exercise' as uncountable: 'to do exercise' or more naturally 'to exercise.'

× And also there are many parks in Bangkok like Lumpini Park where you can wandering around after your exercise and there are.

✓ And also there are many parks in Bangkok like Lumpini Park where you can wander around after your exercise.

After modal-like structure 'can' use the base verb form, not the present participle; 'wandering' should be 'wander.' The final 'and there are' is incomplete and should be removed. Suggestion: use 'can' + base verb and avoid trailing fragments.

× Absolutely. Umm why there are a few parks in Thailand? Umm I wanted to be more to allow the people all to allow the corner of the Bangkok can access to the park, so I would like it.

✓ Absolutely. Umm why are there so few parks in Thailand? Umm I want there to be more so that people in every corner of Bangkok can access a park, so I would like that.

The question word order was incorrect: in questions invert subject and verb ('why are there so few parks'). Tense and word choice were inconsistent: use present tense 'I want' instead of 'I wanted to be more.' The phrase expressing purpose/cause was ungrammatical; use 'I want there to be more so that people in every corner of Bangkok can access a park.' Also use 'so few' rather than 'a few' if expressing scarcity. Suggestion: correct question inversion, use consistent present tense for current desires, and restructure the purpose clause with 'so that' and correct noun phrases ('every corner of Bangkok').

× Yeah, I heard that Central Park in New York is very large and I want to see that in my life in in my life charm because I want to see the difference between umm, the park in New York and in my country, like lumpy Park.

✓ Yeah, I've heard that Central Park in New York is very large and I want to see it in my lifetime because I want to see the difference between the parks in New York and in my country, like Lumpini Park.

Use present perfect 'I've heard' to indicate a past experience relevant now. 'See that in my life in in my life charm' is ungrammatical and should be 'see it in my lifetime.' Use plural 'parks' when comparing parks in two places and correct the park name to 'Lumpini Park.' Also remove repeated words and filler. Suggestion: use present perfect for experiences, 'in my lifetime' for life goals, and ensure parallel comparison structure ('parks in New York and in my country').