Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more fluent and organized: start with a clear topic sentence, reduce hesitations, correct grammar (past habits: 'I used to'), and give one or two specific supporting details. Use linking words like 'often' or 'sometimes' for clarity.

예시: Yes. I used to go to the park a lot as a child. Often I invited my friends and we would play on the swings and climb the trees. Sometimes we had picnics there, which was my favorite part.

제안: Answer directly in present tense and explain reasons with clear sentences. Reduce repetition and fillers; use linking words like 'because' or 'so' and give one concrete activity you do there.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they help me relax when I'm anxious. For example, I often take a short walk or sit on a bench and read, which makes me feel more comfortable and calm.

제안: Make your opinion clear and support it with specific reasons. Fix grammar (use 'parks'), avoid contradictions, and structure with a topic sentence plus two supporting points using linking words like 'because' and 'so'.

예시: No, I don't think we need many more parks because the existing parks are usually sufficient and well-maintained. For instance, I can visit a nearby park easily and it already offers playgrounds and walking paths.

제안: Give a specific plan or example rather than vague statements. Use future tense correctly and provide one or two concrete destinations or activities you hope to try, with linking words like 'for example' or 'perhaps'.

예시: Yes, I hope to visit more parks in the future. For example, I'd like to go to the large botanical garden outside the city to see different plants, and perhaps try hiking on the park's trails next year.

× Yeah, and I as a child, umm, I always went to the park and the playing there, uh, maybe we, I always invited, invited my friend and we always, umm, paid again and uh, join some places.

✓ Yeah, when I was a child, I always went to the park and played there. I often invited my friends and we would join in some activities.

The original sentence has multiple structural problems: incorrect word order ('I as a child' should be 'when I was a child'), misuse of nouns/verbs ('the playing there' should be 'played there'), repetition ('invited, invited'), and unclear verbs ('paid again' and 'join some places' are unnatural). Suggestion: break into shorter sentences, use correct verb forms (played, invited), and use clear nouns (activities).

× Of course, when I was, when I when I anxious and I feel bad, I always T uh, went to the park and have a relax that make me feel comfortable. I do some I, I did some I love things.

✓ Of course, when I was anxious or feeling bad, I always went to the park to relax because it made me feel comfortable. I used to do things I loved there.

Mixed tense and form errors: 'when I anxious' lacks auxiliary and should be 'when I was anxious'; 'I feel bad' mixes present with past context; 'have a relax' is incorrect collocation — use 'relax' as a verb or 'have a rest'; 'that make me' should be past 'made me' to match 'went'. Suggestion: keep past tense consistent for past habits ('used to' or simple past), use correct verb forms and collocations ('go to relax', 'made me feel').

× Actually, uh, no, because in our city, that's not many parts there. So I always go once, uh, once part because, uh, and, uh, getting some, uh, new things and fill me, let me.

✓ Actually, no. In our city there are not many parks. I usually go to the same park because I can see new things and it refreshes me.

Problems: incorrect phrase 'that's not many parts there' — should be 'there are not many parks'; 'I always go once, uh, once part' is unclear; 'getting some new things and fill me, let me' is ungrammatical and vague. Suggestion: use correct 'there are' for existence of plural nouns, use clear reasons ('it refreshes me' or 'it makes me feel better'), and split into short sentences for clarity.

× Uh, yes. Uh, but now I don't know, uh, what park I wanna go, but I, I believe, uh, in the future I'll go many parks and uh, uh, I will go many paths.

✓ Yes. Right now I don't know which park I want to visit, but I believe in the future I'll visit many parks and walk many paths.

Issues: informal 'wanna' should be 'want to' or 'want to visit'; 'what park' should be 'which park'; 'I'll go many parks' is incorrect verb-object order and missing preposition — use 'visit many parks'; 'go many paths' is unnatural — use 'walk many paths' or 'explore many trails'. Suggestion: use correct future tense 'I will' or contraction 'I'll' with appropriate verbs ('visit', 'walk'), and choose precise vocabulary.