Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Cải thiện: Tránh lặp từ và dùng thì phù hợp; phát triển câu chủ đề rõ ràng rồi bổ sung chi tiết cụ thể. Nói ngắn gọn tối đa 4-5 câu, dùng liên từ để mạch lạc. Ví dụ: nêu cảm xúc, hoạt động bạn làm, tần suất và lợi ích cụ thể cho sức khỏe.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks when I was a child. I often went there with my friends to play games like tag and football. We usually went on weekends, and the fresh air and exercise made me feel healthier. Those visits are some of my fondest childhood memories.

제안: Cải thiện: Loại bỏ tiếng lấp lửng (umm, uh), phát âm rõ hơn, dùng thì hiện tại đơn hoặc hiện tại tiếp diễn phù hợp. Cung cấp thông tin cụ thể về tần suất và hoạt động, dùng liên từ để nối ý. Sửa số giờ và từ vựng chính xác (ví dụ: "6:00 AM").

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. I go there almost every morning at around 6:00 AM with a friend. We usually play football or basketball for about an hour, and the fresh air helps me wake up and feel energetic.

제안: Cải thiện: Trình bày lý do rõ ràng, dùng câu mạch lạc với liên từ (because, so, which), tránh lặp từ. Nên nêu 2-3 lợi ích cụ thể (môi trường, không khí, sức khỏe cộng đồng) và cung cấp ví dụ hoặc kết quả mong muốn.

예시: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they improve air quality and provide green spaces for people to relax. More parks would reduce pollution and encourage residents to exercise outdoors, which would benefit public health.

제안: Cải thiện: Trả lời trực tiếp, sửa ngữ pháp (convenient), tránh lặp từ và thì không phù hợp. Nếu muốn, mở rộng bằng cách giải thích lý do cụ thể và nêu tình huống trong tương lai. Giữ tối đa 4 câu.

예시: Not really, because I usually go to the park near my house as it is very convenient. It helps me relax after a stressful day at work, so I prefer the familiar, nearby place rather than trying new parks.

× Yes, I when I was young, I really like going to park with going to park and playing some sports game with my friends.

✓ Yes, when I was young, I really liked going to the park and playing sports games with my friends.

The sentence mixes past context 'when I was young' with present tense 'like'. Use past tense 'liked' to match time frame; add definite article 'the' before 'park' for a specific place; remove redundant 'going to park'; use plural 'sports games' for multiple activities.

× It's help me, it's help my health for better.

✓ It helped me; it improved my health.

Pronoun 'it' with present 'help' mismatches past context; 'helped' is past tense. 'Help my health for better' is ungrammatical — use 'improved my health'. Split into two concise clauses for clarity.

× MMM, yes, I'm, MMM, I really go into Paris now uh, every day I go to the park, uh, only day, about 66 AM uh, every morning with my friend, uh, we are playing spirit like football or basketball, umm, and the air is.

✓ Yes, I really go to the park now. Every day I go in the morning, at about 6 AM, with my friend. We play sports like football or basketball, and the air is fresh.

Clean up disfluencies and choose correct preposition 'go to' (not 'go into' for park), correct time expression '6 AM', and use simple present 'go' and 'play' for habitual actions. 'Spirit' is wrong word; use 'sports' and complete the final clause 'the air is fresh'.

× Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because uh, more park umm will have the environment, more free refresher and umm reduced polluting or reduce pollution and have the health of people uh, more better.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because more parks would improve the environment, provide more open space, reduce pollution, and improve people's health.

Use consistent modal structure 'would' to express preference/hypothetical. Use plural 'parks'. Replace vague phrases with 'improve the environment' and 'provide more open space'. Use 'reduce pollution' and 'improve people's health' for grammatical and natural expressions.

× No, I think no, no party I want to go to in the future because I usually go to the park near my house because it's convene.

✓ No, I don't have any particular park I want to go to in the future because I usually go to the park near my house because it's convenient.

Negation should be 'I don't have any' rather than 'I think no'. 'No party' is incorrect word choice—should be 'no particular park'. 'Convene' is wrong word; use adjective 'convenient'. Ensure subject-verb structure with 'I don't have'.

× It's very convenient to go there and help me relax when I was stressful in my job.

✓ It's very convenient to go there and it helps me relax when I'm stressed at work.

Match tense and aspect: use present 'it helps' for general truth. Use correct adjective 'stressed' (not 'stressful') and preposition 'at work' to indicate job context. Combine clauses clearly.