Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct small grammar errors. Begin with a clear topic sentence, avoid redundancy, and use one or two specific supporting details with correct phrasing. Use linking words (for example, because, so) to connect ideas and keep the answer within 3–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because my parents took me there every weekend for picnics. The swings and slides were my favourite attractions, and I often made friends with other children while playing. Those visits were relaxing and full of fun, so I remember them fondly.

제안: Correct word choice and be direct. Start with a clear topic sentence ('Not really' or 'I don’t go to parks much now'), then give 1–2 specific reasons with linking words. Avoid repetition and long lists; keep sentences grammatically correct.

예시: Not really — I don’t go to parks much now because I prefer staying at home to watch movies or play video games. Also, as my schedule is busy, I usually choose short indoor activities to relax rather than going out.

제안: Avoid hesitations and sentence fragments. Give a clear opinion first, then two specific reasons linked logically. Fix grammar (e.g., 'playful' → 'playful', 'socialize with others'). Keep to 2–3 sentences and use linking words like 'because' and 'so'.

예시: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide a safe, playful environment for children. Moreover, parks encourage social interaction, so young kids can develop social skills and parents have pleasant places to relax.

제안: Be concise and avoid repetition. Start with a direct response ('No, not really') then give one clear reason with a specific supporting detail. Reduce long lists of activities and correct small errors ('stay at home', not 'stay up in my house').

예시: No, not really — I don’t have any particular parks I want to visit in the future because I prefer staying at home to watch TV series or play video games with friends. When I have free time, relaxing at home feels more appealing than going out.

× My parents used to take me there on it every weekend for our picnic days.

✓ My parents used to take me there every weekend for our picnic days.

The preposition phrase 'on it' is unnecessary and incorrect here. Remove 'on it' to make the sentence natural: 'take me there every weekend.' Use concise prepositional phrases and avoid adding redundant words.

× I loved how the swings and slides excited me at that time.

✓ I loved how the swings and slides excited me back then.

The phrase 'at that time' is grammatically acceptable but sounds unnatural in spoken English here. 'Back then' is a more natural adverbial phrase for referring to childhood. The core grammar is fine; this is a style improvement.

× I had a chance to meet other kids as well and make a few friends from there.

✓ I had a chance to meet other kids as well and make a few friends there.

The preposition 'from' is unnecessary when saying you made friends at a place. Use 'there' to indicate location where the friends were made.

× And parks are very vivid and they are very good to relax after.

✓ Parks were very lively and a great place to relax afterward.

'Vivid' is not the best adjective for describing parks; 'lively' fits better. Also, 'good to relax after' is awkward; 'a great place to relax afterward' is clearer and grammatically natural.

× I don't like to park.

✓ I don't like going to parks.

The verb 'park' without an object usually means to leave a vehicle; here the student intends 'visit parks.' Use 'going to parks' to match intended meaning. This fixes verb choice rather than strict third person error but aligns with the spoken context.

× As an adult, I like to stay in my room in my house and watch some movies or play games or just relax and sleep for a while.

✓ As an adult, I like to stay in my room at home and watch movies, play games, or just relax and sleep for a while.

Use 'at home' instead of 'in my house' for natural spoken English. Also remove 'some' before 'movies' and use commas to list activities. This is a prepositional and style correction.

× But I don't prefer going outside.

✓ But I don't prefer going outside much.

'Prefer' usually compares choices or is followed by 'to' or 'rather than.' Saying 'I don't prefer going outside' is odd; add 'much' to indicate degree, or rephrase as 'I don't like going outside.' This corrects usage rather than a listed ID exactly but aligns with allowed problem types.

× Yes, though I don't like to visit parks, I, I would like to, uh, I would like to see many parks in my city.

✓ Yes, even though I don't like visiting parks, I would like to see more parks in my city.

Remove filler words and fix verb form: 'visiting' is the correct gerund after 'like.' Use 'more parks' instead of 'many parks' for natural phrasing when expressing desire to increase number in the city. This addresses sentence structure and word choice.

× Since parks are a great place for the younger ones and kids and toddlers.

✓ Parks are a great place for young children and toddlers.

The original is a sentence fragment beginning with 'Since' that lacks a main clause. Remove 'Since' or complete the clause. Also simplify 'the younger ones and kids and toddlers' to 'young children and toddlers.'

× We can give them an playful atmosphere and it would, it would give them an opportunity to opportunity to socialize with other.

✓ We can give them a playful atmosphere and it would give them an opportunity to socialize with others.

Use the article 'a' with 'playful' (not 'an playful'), remove duplicate 'opportunity to,' and use plural 'others' to refer to other children. These fix article choice, repetition, and pronoun number.

× No, there aren't many parks that I I would like to visit in the future.

✓ No, there aren't many parks I would like to visit in the future.

Duplicate 'I' should be removed. The structure 'there aren't many parks I would like to visit' is natural. This addresses redundancy; the 'there are' structure itself is correct.

× I just like to stay up in my house and watch television or movies or web series and some drama or else play video games with my friends or just simply sleep on my couch.

✓ I just like to stay at home and watch television, movies, or web series and dramas, or play video games with my friends, or simply sleep on my couch.

Use 'stay at home' not 'stay up in my house.' Use commas to separate items in a list, 'dramas' plural, and 'simply' is sufficient without 'just.' This corrects preposition use and improves sentence flow.

× Just relaxing.

✓ I'm just relaxing.

'Just relaxing' is a sentence fragment; add the subject and verb ('I'm') to form a complete sentence. In spoken response it's acceptable as fragment, but grammatically a main clause is needed.