Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Improve grammar (verb tense and forms), sentence variety, and clarity. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler sounds and single-word verbs that are incorrect (e.g., 'flight' → 'flew').

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. For example, I often flew kites with my parents and spent whole afternoons skating with my friends, so parks were my main place to relax after school.

제안: Correct subject-verb agreement and gerund/infinitive use, shorten and organize ideas logically. Use linking words (however, so, or) and be specific about frequency or benefits. Remove unnecessary phrases like 'By the way'.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. Although I no longer fly kites with friends, I often ride my bicycle or go jogging there to stay fit, and sometimes I simply sit and take deep breaths to relax.

제안: Make reasons concise and connect them with linking words (for example, because, therefore). Use precise vocabulary (e.g., 'cleaner' rather than 'more clean') and avoid filler words. Give one or two specific benefits with brief explanation.

예시: Yes, I would. More parks mean more opportunities for people to exercise, such as cycling and jogging, and they also make the city cleaner because trees help filter polluted air.

제안: Be precise and avoid vague or incorrect statements. Use correct phrasing (e.g., 'feed pandas' or 'keep pandas') and finish thoughts completely. Give a clear reason why you want to visit and one specific detail about the park.

예시: Yes, I would like to visit the new national park in Beijing because it has lakes and beautiful gardens. I also heard they might keep pandas there, which would be a unique attraction to see.

× When I was a child, I really like going to parks after class every day.

✓ When I was a child, I really liked going to parks after class every day.

The sentence refers to a past habitual action (when I was a child), so the past simple tense 'liked' is required instead of the present simple 'like'. Use past tense for actions completed or habitual in the past.

× I flight the kite with my parents sometimes, uh, in most case I can spend the whole afternoon with my friends.

✓ I flew kites with my parents sometimes; in most cases I could spend the whole afternoon with my friends.

The intended verb is 'fly' in the past tense, which is 'flew', not 'flight' (which is a noun). Also, 'in most case' should be plural 'in most cases'. 'Can' is possible but for past habitual use 'could' is more appropriate.

× We can go skating.

✓ We could go skating.

In the context of talking about childhood (past), use 'could' to describe ability or habitual activities in the past rather than present 'can'.

× Yeah, and nowadays I still like goes to parks, although I can't play with my friends or just flying the kite, but I still have the chance to ride bicycle or go jogging to get some exercise and let me become more fit.

✓ Yeah, and nowadays I still like going to parks, although I can't play with my friends or fly kites; I still have the chance to ride a bicycle or go jogging to get some exercise and become fitter.

Multiple issues: 'like goes' is incorrect—after 'like' use the verb+ing ('like going'). 'Go' should be 'going'. 'Just flying the kite' should be 'fly kites' or 'just fly a kite' using base form after 'or' with 'can't'. 'Ride bicycle' needs the article 'a bicycle'. 'Let me become more fit' is unnatural; use 'become fitter'. Use parallel structure and correct verb forms.

× By the way, if I don't have any time, I can take some deep breath.

✓ By the way, if I don't have any time, I can take a few deep breaths.

'Take some deep breath' is ungrammatical: 'breath' (singular noun) vs 'breathe' (verb). Use 'breaths' plural with 'some' or 'a few'. The conditional 'if I don't have any time' and 'I can' is acceptable, but the noun form needed correction.

× Yes, I'd like to see more parks in the city, cause more parks means the more chance for people to exercise.

✓ Yes, I'd like to see more parks in the city, because more parks mean more opportunities for people to exercise.

Use 'because' instead of informal 'cause'. 'More parks' is plural so the verb should be 'mean' (not 'means'). 'The more chance' is awkward; use 'more opportunities' or 'more chances'.

× We can go cycling, go jogging there.

✓ We can go cycling or jogging there.

The original is repetitive; combine activities with 'or' or 'and' and place 'there' at the end is acceptable. This improves flow and clarity.

× Uh, by the way, it can also let the city become more clean.

✓ Uh, by the way, it can also help make the city cleaner.

'Become more clean' is grammatical but non-idiomatic; 'cleaner' is the comparative adjective. Use 'help make' or 'help to make' instead of 'let'.

× The trees in the park can clean the polluted air.

✓ The trees in the park can clean polluted air.

'The polluted air' suggests specific air already identified; in general statement, use 'polluted air' without 'the'. The sentence is otherwise correct.

× In the future, I'd like to see some new parks.

✓ In the future, I'd like to visit some new parks.

'See' is understandable but 'visit' is more natural for going to parks. Tense/modal 'I'd like' is correct for future desire.

× For example, in Beijing there's a new National Park which contains the lake and some beautiful gardens.

✓ For example, in Beijing there's a new national park that contains a lake and some beautiful gardens.

Use lowercase 'national park' unless it's the official name. 'The lake' implies a specific known lake; use 'a lake' for introduction. Use 'that' rather than 'which' for restrictive clauses in informal speech, though 'which' is acceptable with a preceding comma.

× Uh, I also heard that they may choose some pandas to feed them in National Park.

✓ Uh, I also heard that they may choose some pandas to be kept and fed in the national park.

'Choose some pandas to feed them' is unclear and uses pronoun 'them' incorrectly. Presumably the meaning is to keep pandas in the park and feed them. Use passive 'to be kept and fed' or 'to care for' to convey this. Also 'National Park' should be lowercase unless a proper noun.

× I think it's really.

✓ I think that's really nice/exciting/interesting.

'I think it's really' is incomplete; 'really' needs an adjective (e.g., 'nice', 'interesting'). Provide a full adjective to complete the thought.