Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the answer more direct and concise. Begin with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words (uh), and correct grammar (remove unnecessary 'but' after 'although'). Add one specific detail and a brief reason to support your statement, using a linking word to connect ideas.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because my parents often took me there. For example, I used to play on the swings and slides with a couple of neighborhood friends, which made weekends really fun.

제안: Start with a clear topic sentence and remove hesitations. Use linking words (for example, and) to connect reasons. Be specific about what you do in parks and correct vocabulary (e.g., 'fresh air' rather than 'clean'). Keep to 2–3 sentences.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they help me escape a busy life and get fresh air. For example, I often watch the sunrise there, go for a short jog, and sometimes have picnics with my parents on weekends.

제안: Give a clear opinion then explain reasons with linking words. Avoid wordy phrases like 'some metropolitan city'—say 'a metropolitan city.' Be specific about obstacles and suggest one realistic improvement. Keep sentences concise.

예시: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because green space is limited in a metropolitan area. However, it is often crowded and I have little free time on weekends, so smaller neighborhood parks would be especially useful.

제안: Be careful with clarity and coherence. Start with a direct answer, then give concise, specific reasons. Fix grammar and unclear phrases ('making bars' and 'adding smaller pocket' are unclear). If suggesting improvements, name them clearly (e.g., 'pocket parks' and 'better access'). Limit to two sentences.

예시: No, I probably won't visit many parks in the future because I prefer gyms and occasional mountain trekking, and I have very little weekend free time. However, if the city created more small 'pocket parks' near residential areas, I might use them more often.

× Yes, I do love going to the parks.

✓ Yes, I do love going to parks.

Use of the definite article 'the' before 'parks' is incorrect when speaking generally. Omit the article to refer to parks in general: 'going to parks'. Suggestion: use 'going to parks' or 'going to the park' if referring to a specific park.

× When I was a child, uh, although I had very little friends, but I enjoyed playing with them on the swings and slides.

✓ When I was a child, although I had very few friends, I enjoyed playing with them on the swings and slides.

'Very little' is used with uncountable nouns; 'friends' is countable so use 'very few'. Also the conjunctions 'although' and 'but' should not be used together; remove 'but'. Suggestion: use 'very few friends' and either 'although' or 'but', not both.

× Uh, uh, my parents used to take me.

✓ My parents used to take me.

Redundant filler 'uh, uh' should be removed for clarity. 'Used to take me' correctly indicates habitual past action, so keep tense. Suggestion: remove fillers in spoken answers; keep 'My parents used to take me'.

× Yes, it's a good way to get out from the busy life.

✓ Yes, it's a good way to get away from a busy life.

Use 'get away from' rather than 'get out from' for escaping a situation. Also include the indefinite article 'a' before 'busy life' for natural English. Suggestion: use 'get away from a busy life' or 'escape the busy life'.

× Uh, I love going to the parks for watching sunrise and going on a little jog.

✓ I love going to parks to watch the sunrise and to go on a short jog.

Use 'parks' without 'the' when speaking generally. 'For watching sunrise' is unnatural; use 'to watch the sunrise'. 'A little jog' is better expressed as 'a short jog' or 'to go for a short jog'. Suggestion: use infinitive verbs 'to watch' and 'to go' and include 'the' before 'sunrise'.

× My parents still call me for a picnic on the weekends and it's also a good way to walk and get some clean.

✓ My parents still invite me on weekend picnics and it's also a good way to walk and get some fresh air.

Use 'invite me on' or 'invite me to' for events, not 'call me for a picnic'. 'On the weekends' can be 'on weekends' or 'at the weekends'; 'on weekend picnics' works. 'Get some clean' is incorrect; likely intended 'get some fresh air'. Suggestion: say 'invite me on weekend picnics' and 'get some fresh air'.

× Yes, I would love to see more parks in my city, but since it's some metropolitan city the places are crowded and also I get very limited amount of time on my weekends to explore more or go for a jog in the parks.

✓ Yes, I would love to see more parks in my city, but since it's a metropolitan city the places are crowded and I get a very limited amount of time on weekends to explore or go for a jog in the parks.

Use 'a metropolitan city' not 'some metropolitan city'. Include the article 'a' before 'very limited amount'. 'On my weekends' is better as 'on weekends' or 'on my weekends'; keep consistent. Remove redundant 'more'. Suggestion: use 'a metropolitan city' and 'a very limited amount of time'.

× No, I think I would not want to visit any park in the future since we have more developed gyms and trekking in the mountains on the weekend and I have and I hardly have much free time on the weekends to visit them.

✓ No, I don't think I will want to visit parks in the future since we have well-equipped gyms and weekend mountain treks, and I hardly have much free time on weekends to visit them.

'Would not want' can be replaced by 'don't think I will want' to match a firm future viewpoint. 'More developed gyms' is awkward; use 'well-equipped gyms' or 'better gyms'. Remove duplicated 'and I have'. Use 'on weekends' consistently. Suggestion: use 'I don't think I will want' or 'I probably won't visit parks in the future' and simplify the sentence to avoid repetition.

× So making bars more accessible or adding smaller pocket.

✓ So, making parks more accessible or adding smaller pocket parks would help.

Sentence is incomplete and contains a probable typo 'bars' instead of 'parks' and lacks a main verb. Add 'would help' and correct 'pocket' to 'pocket parks' to complete the idea. Suggestion: ensure sentences have a clear subject and verb; correct typos and finish the thought.