Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 回答は主旨を伝えていますが、曖昧さ、繰り返し、頻繁な間投詞（uh, umm）が多く、文法の誤り（“praying alone”は文脈に合わない、代わりに“playing alone”など）があります。改善点：1) 明確なトピック文を最初に述べる（例：I didn’t enjoy parks as a child.）。2) 理由をはっきり一つか二つに絞って、具体例を加える（友達と遊べなかった、静かに過ごしたかった等）。3) 間投詞を減らし、簡潔な文を用いる。4) 単語ミス（praying→playing）を注意する。練習法：短い回答を作り、録音して不要な“uh/umm”をカットしながら5回繰り返す。

예시: I didn’t enjoy going to parks as a child. I preferred quiet activities and often played alone because I found it hard to join group games. For example, while other children played tag, I usually sat reading or drawing. Therefore parks weren’t very enjoyable for me back then.

제안: 答えは肯定しているが、過去と現在の対比を整理して短く明確に示す必要がある。繰り返しや言い淀みが多く、具体性が不足している（“I worked” は文脈に合わない）。改善点：1) 明確な対比文を使う（I didn’t like X before, but now I do.）。2) なぜ好きになったか具体的な理由を一つ示す（relaxation, fresh air, exerciseなど）。3) 1〜2文内で収め、linking word（but, because, so）を正しく使う。

예시: I didn’t enjoy parks as a child, but I like them now because they help me relax and connect with nature. For example, I often go for a walk there to clear my mind and enjoy the fresh air.

제안: 回答は直接的で理由も述べているが、語句の誤り（high bills→high buildings）、冗長な間投詞がある。改善点：1) 理由を一つに絞り具体例を加える（families, elderly, exerciseのため）。2) 建物が多いことを表現するときは“crowded with tall buildings”など正しい語彙を使う。3) 2〜3文で簡潔にまとめる。

예시: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because they provide space for people to relax and exercise. My city is crowded with tall buildings, so parks would give residents a chance to enjoy greenery and fresh air.

제안: 意図は伝わるが、言い淀みと文法の問題（I would like to go the some national parks）、具体性の不足（どの国立公園か、なぜ動物に興味があるか）が目立つ。改善点：1) 文法を正しくし簡潔な構造にする（I’d like to visit national parks in the US because they have diverse wildlife.）。2) 具体例を一つ挙げる（Yellowstone for geysers and bisonなど）。3) 不要な間投詞を減らす。

예시: I don’t have a specific park in mind, but I’d love to visit national parks in the United States because they contain diverse wildlife and dramatic landscapes. For example, I’d like to see Yellowstone to observe geysers and bison in their natural habitat.

× No, I didn't so like, uh, going to parks as a child because I'm not so good at going along with friends and umm, I like praying alone.

✓ No, I didn't really like going to parks as a child because I wasn't good at getting along with friends, and I liked playing alone.

'so like' is informal and incorrect here; use 'really like'. 'I'm not so good at going along with friends' mixes present tense with past context; use past 'I wasn't good at getting along with friends'. 'praying' is incorrect word choice; context implies 'playing'. Also coordinate clauses with 'and' and keep tense consistent.

× So I'm not so good at, uh, I don't like parks, but uh, my parents, uh.

✓ So I didn't like parks, but my parents did.

Sentence is fragmented and mixes tenses and omissions. Use a complete clause: 'I didn't like parks' (past) and contrast with 'my parents did'. This fixes ellipsis and provides a clear subject and verb.

× Uh, when I was a child, I'm not, I was, I wasn't like, uh, I didn't like going to parks, but I now I like, uh, because, uh, umm, in the parks I worked or the, or feel the nature.

✓ When I was a child, I didn't like going to parks, but now I do because in parks I can relax and feel nature.

Original mixes past and present awkwardly. Keep clause 'When I was a child' with past tense 'didn't like'. Use 'now I do' for present preference. 'I worked or the, or feel the nature' is ungrammatical; replace with 'I can relax and feel nature' to express intended meaning.

× And so it is a good, uh, good opportunity to, uh.

✓ So it is a good opportunity to relax and enjoy nature.

Fragment lacks object/end; complete the idea by specifying what the opportunity is for. Use infinitive 'to relax and enjoy nature' to follow 'opportunity to'.

× Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city, uh, because uh, parks are a good places for everyone to relax or feel nature.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because parks are good places for everyone to relax and enjoy nature.

'a good places' mixes singular article 'a' with plural 'places'; remove 'a' or change to singular. 'feel nature' is awkward; use 'enjoy nature'. Keep plural agreement: 'parks are good places'.

× And uh, my city is uh, crowded with uh, high bills so it's not so.

✓ My city is crowded with high buildings, so it's not very open.

'high bills' is incorrect word choice for tall structures; use 'high buildings'. 'so it's not so' is incomplete; clarify 'not very open' or 'not very spacious'. Ensure adjective choice matches meaning.

× Umm, I don't have specific parks that I want to go in the future, but uh, I would like to go the, uh, some national parks in America because, uh, it has, uh, it has, umm, various kinds of, uh, animals that wouldn't, uh, that I can't, uh.

✓ I don't have specific parks I want to visit in the future, but I would like to visit some national parks in America because they have various kinds of animals that I haven't seen.

Use 'visit' instead of 'go' with 'parks' for correctness. 'in the future' -> 'in the future' is okay but omit extra words. 'it has' should be 'they have' to agree with plural 'parks'. The ending was unclear; express as 'animals that I haven't seen' to convey intended meaning. Maintain modal/tense consistency.