Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be careful with tense consistency, grammar and redundancy. Start with a clear topic sentence in past tense, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct plural/singular forms and avoid repeating phrases. Aim for 2–4 concise sentences.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often went with my family, and my brother and I used to play football there, which helped us bond. Because the park was safe and spacious, we spent entire afternoons playing and having picnics.

제안: Good idea and personal detail, but improve cohesion and natural phrasing. Avoid informal labels like 'fitness freak' in formal test; say 'very interested in fitness'. Use linking words (for example, so) and make sentences grammatically correct and varied in length.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because I am very interested in fitness. For example, I walk there with my mother for about 45 minutes most days to reach my daily step goal, and the fresh air makes the exercise more pleasant.

제안: Improve accuracy and word choice, and avoid vague phrases like 'one can could not'. Use precise numbers and clearer cause–effect linking words such as 'so' or 'therefore'. Keep sentences short and correct grammar (e.g., 'there are only four or five parks').

예시: Yes, I would like to see more parks because there are only four or five in my hometown, so they are often overcrowded. As a result, families sometimes cannot find space to relax or play.

제안: Use correct tense and natural expressions for future wishes. Avoid confusing past and present (e.g., 'when I was a child'). Say when the desire began using past tense and express future intention clearly. Provide one specific reason and keep it concise.

예시: Yes, I would love to visit Disneyland in the future. Ever since I was a child it has been on my bucket list because I am a big fan of Cinderella, and I want to see the castles and the themed rides in person.

× When I was young, I like to visit park with my family to spend some quality time with them.

✓ When I was young, I liked to visit the park with my family to spend some quality time with them.

Tense mismatch: the sentence begins with past time marker 'When I was young', so the verb should be in the past tense ('liked') not present ('like'). Also include the definite article 'the' before 'park' because a specific park is implied. Suggestion: use past tense verbs consistently with past time markers and include appropriate articles.

× For an instance, me and me and my brother also play football.

✓ For instance, my brother and I also played football.

Pronoun and word order errors: use subjective pronoun 'I' (not 'me') when part of the subject, and avoid repeating 'me'. Also use 'my brother and I' (polite order) and past tense 'played' to match the past time frame. Replace 'For an instance' with correct phrase 'For instance'.

× Every time we visited to the park, it gives us time to bond.

✓ Every time we visited the park, it gave us time to bond.

Multiple issues: remove incorrect preposition 'to' after 'visited' (we visit/place + the park). Tense consistency: use past tense 'gave' to match 'visited'. Also adverb placement 'Every time' is fine at start; fix verb forms for agreement with past context.

× I'm a fitness freak.

✓ I'm a fitness fanatic.

Not strictly grammatical error but word choice: 'fitness freak' is informal and acceptable, however to be more neutral and natural in spoken English 'fitness fanatic' or 'I am very into fitness' is preferable. No tense change needed.

× I like to complete my steps by walking.

✓ I like to complete my steps by walking.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable in present tense; no change required. Keep present simple to describe habitual action. Suggestion: you can also say 'I like to reach my step goal by walking' for clarity.

× For an instance, I walk there with my mother for 45 minutes to complete the step goals of my day.

✓ For instance, I walk there with my mother for 45 minutes to complete my step goals for the day.

Preposition and article choices: use 'For instance' not 'For an instance'. 'Step goals of my day' is awkward; better: 'my step goals for the day' or 'my daily step goal'. Also 'walk there' is acceptable if context clear.

× Yes, I would love to see more parks because there are only four to five parks in my hometown.

✓ Yes, I would love to see more parks because there are only four or five parks in my hometown.

Use 'four or five' rather than 'four to five' in spoken estimation to be more natural. Sentence structure otherwise fine.

× That is every time all the parks are packed with people and children, so one can could not make it to the park.

✓ Because all the parks are always packed with people and children, one cannot get into the park.

This sentence has several problems: word order and modal verbs. 'That is every time' is awkward; better: 'Because' or 'As a result'. Use 'always' rather than 'every time' here. Modal error: 'can could not' is incorrect — choose 'cannot' or 'could not' depending on tense; present habitual uses 'cannot' or 'can't'. 'Make it to the park' can be rephrased as 'get into the park' or 'find space in the park'.

× Yes, I would love to visit the Disneyland when I was a child.

✓ Yes, I would have loved to visit Disneyland when I was a child.

Tense mismatch and article use: 'would love to' expresses present desire; to express past unreal desire use 'would have loved to'. The time clause 'when I was a child' requires past reference. Also remove the definite article before 'Disneyland' — names of theme parks usually take no article. If the speaker still wants to visit now, use 'I would love to visit Disneyland' (present desire).

× It is in my bucket list since then.

✓ It has been on my bucket list since then.

Tense and preposition: use present perfect 'has been' with 'since then' to show a state starting in the past and continuing to the present. Use 'on my bucket list' not 'in my bucket list'.

× I'm a big fan of Cinderella so this is the one park that I want to visit in future.

✓ I'm a big fan of Cinderella, so this is the one park I want to visit in the future.

Minor issues: add comma before 'so'. Use 'in the future' or 'in future' — the correct phrase is 'in the future' in this context. Tense 'want' is present, matching ongoing desire; sentence is otherwise fine.