Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the answer more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid awkward phrasing (e.g. "release these potentials") and reduce repetition. Use linking words like "because" or "so" for coherence.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because I was very energetic and needed space to run around. For example, my mother took me there every weekend where I met friends and we played football and climbed trees, which was a great way to burn off energy.

제안: Make the response more fluent and grammatically correct. Use a clear topic sentence, then one specific reason and one example. Replace "till now" and "release negative energy" with more natural expressions like "still enjoy" and "de-stress."

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks, but I don't visit as often because of my busy work schedule and the hot weather. When I do go, I usually sit in the shade and take a short walk to de-stress after a long day.

제안: Clarify your meaning and correct unclear phrases (e.g. "Each one has a report"). Start with a direct opinion, then give one or two specific reasons and maybe a brief contrast. Use linking words like "because" and "however."

예시: I don't think we need more parks in my city because we already have several, each with a different purpose. For instance, one park is good for families with playgrounds while another is quieter and ideal for jogging, so people can choose depending on what they want.

제안: Rephrase the question into a clear statement and correct grammar. Provide a reason why you want to visit and one specific detail about the park. Avoid awkward constructions like "Will I really want to go" and use appropriate adjectives.

예시: Yes, I would like to visit the Flower Park in Abu Dhabi because it features many different species of flowers. I think it would be fascinating to walk through the gardens, read the information signs, and learn about rare plants and their care.

× Yes, I really liked going to the park as a child, especially that I was an energetic child and I needed a place where I can release these potentials.

✓ Yes, I really liked going to the park as a child, especially because I was energetic and needed a place where I could release this energy.

Error: 'potentials' is an incorrect plural noun here and 'especially that' is unnatural. Use 'especially because' and singular uncountable 'energy'. Also 'can' should be changed to past modal 'could' to match past tense 'liked' and 'was'. Suggestion: Use 'energy' (uncountable) and keep verb tenses consistent by using 'could' for ability in the past.

× So my mom would take me every weekend to the park and would let me meet my friends and play with them so I can have fun and release this energy.

✓ So my mom would take me to the park every weekend and let me meet my friends and play with them so I could have fun and release that energy.

Error: Mixed tenses—'would' (past habitual) is correct, but 'can' should be past 'could' to match. Also word order 'every weekend to the park' is less natural than 'to the park every weekend'. Use 'that energy' or 'this energy' consistently. Suggestion: Maintain past tense for ability and use natural word order.

× Yes, I still like going to the park till now but due to my heavy work and due to the hot weather I go less often now and if I go, I will go to relax and release negative energy.

✓ Yes, I still like going to the park, but because of my heavy workload and the hot weather I go less often now, and if I go, I go to relax and release negative energy.

Errors: 'till now' is awkward with 'still'; use 'now' or 'these days'. 'due to my heavy work' is incorrect collocation—use 'because of my heavy workload' or 'busy work schedule'. 'If I go, I will go' is redundant and future 'will' is unnecessary; use present 'I go' to indicate habit. Suggestion: Use correct collocations and consistent present tense for current habits.

× Well, actually my city has enough multiple parks and they are different.

✓ Well, actually my city has enough parks and they are diverse.

Errors: 'enough multiple parks' is ungrammatical—'enough' and 'multiple' together are redundant. Use 'enough parks' or 'multiple parks'. 'They are different' is grammatical but awkward; 'diverse' or 'various' is more natural. Suggestion: Choose one quantifier and use a clearer adjective.

× Each one has a report.

✓ Each one has a park report.

Error: The original sentence 'Each one has a report' is vague and likely incorrect word choice. If the student meant that each park has a report or description, specify 'park report' or better: 'Each one has a different feature' or 'Each park has its own features.' Suggestion: Use clearer noun phrases and include articles if needed.

× So I don't think we need more parks and you can choose from these multiple parks.

✓ So I don't think we need more parks; you can choose from the existing ones.

Errors: Awkward phrase 'these multiple parks' and run-on sentence. Use a semicolon or split sentences. 'Existing ones' is more natural than 'these multiple parks'. Suggestion: Simplify and use natural reference words.

× Will I really want to go to the flower park in Abu Dhabi where it has the full types of flowers and you can go and walk and learn about each type of flower which is really interested?

✓ I really want to go to the Flower Park in Abu Dhabi in the future, where it has many types of flowers and you can walk and learn about each type, which is really interesting.

Errors: Sentence begins with 'Will I really want' which incorrectly forms a question and future tense. The place name 'Flower Park' should be capitalized. 'full types of flowers' is incorrect; use 'many types of flowers'. 'which is really interested' is wrong because 'interested' describes people; use 'interesting' to describe the park experience. Suggestion: Use a statement about future desire ('I want to go' or 'I would like to go'), correct noun phrase, and use 'interesting' for things.