Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more natural and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar, and give one specific reason with a brief example. Avoid repetition and finish the sentence. Use linking words for coherence.

예시: Not really. I didn't enjoy parks as a child because I found them boring and there were always a lot of mosquitoes. For example, I often got bitten during summer picnics, so I preferred playing indoors with my friends instead.

제안: Improve grammar and clarity: give a clear topic sentence, explain why parks relax you with specific details, and use linking words. Fix awkward phrases and avoid repetition.

예시: Yes, I enjoy going to parks now because they help me relax after a busy day. For instance, I often walk there for 30 minutes to clear my mind and listen to birds, which makes me feel less stressed and more focused.

제안: Answer the question directly and correct vocabulary errors (cars→parks). Provide one clear reason and a concrete example, using linking words for coherence.

예시: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they would make the streets greener and give people more places to relax. For example, adding small neighborhood parks would allow families to picnic nearby instead of traveling far.

제안: Be concise and grammatically correct: state the park clearly, explain why you want to visit with specific details, and avoid filler words. Use linking words to connect ideas.

예시: Yes, I would love to visit Central Park in New York because it's famous for its large green spaces and cultural attractions. For example, I want to walk around the lakes and visit the museums nearby to experience the city's atmosphere.

× I didn't like going to parks as a child because I'm not interested in this scenery.

✓ I didn't like going to parks as a child because I wasn't interested in the scenery.

The sentence mixes past and present tenses. The main clause is past ('didn't like'), so the reason should also be in past tense: 'wasn't interested'. Also 'this scenery' is odd; 'the scenery' fits better.

× Besides, there are lots of mosquitoes in parks, especially in summer when I'm by bited by them.

✓ Besides, there were lots of mosquitoes in parks, especially in summer when I was bitten by them.

Tense consistency: talking about childhood uses past tense ('were' not 'are'). 'By bited' is incorrect form; passive past participle is 'was bitten'. Use 'was bitten' for past passive events.

× I.

✓ (Remove fragment)

'I.' is a sentence fragment and incomplete. It should be removed or completed into a full sentence, for example 'I didn't.' or continue the thought. Fragments without a verb are incorrect.

× I like going to parks now because this is a way to relax myself.

✓ I like going to parks now because it is a way for me to relax.

Use 'it' as a dummy subject and 'for me to relax' is the correct infinitival phrase. 'Relax myself' is unnatural in English; 'relax' or 'relax myself' is less common.

× Nowadays I have so much work to do so I always feel abundant on my on my army.

✓ Nowadays I have so much work to do, so I always feel overwhelmed.

'Abundant on my on my army' is incorrect and unclear. The intended meaning is likely 'overwhelmed' or 'very busy'. Replace with a single appropriate adjective and remove repeated words.

× The parks is a good place to relax relief.

✓ Parks are a good place to relax and unwind.

Subject-verb agreement: 'parks' is plural so use 'are'. 'Relax relief' is ungrammatical; use verbs 'relax and unwind' or noun 'a place for relaxation'.

× I would like to see more cars in my city because if there are more parks means your city will be more beautiful and there are more places for people to relax themselves.

✓ I would like to see more parks in my city because if there are more parks, the city will be more beautiful and there will be more places for people to relax.

Incorrect word 'cars' should be 'parks' to match context. The clause 'if there are more parks means your city will...' is ungrammatical; use a comma and rephrase. Avoid reflexive 'relax themselves' — use 'relax'.

× Yes uh, there are one park I really want to go to in the future.

✓ Yes, there is one park I really want to go to in the future.

'There are one park' is incorrect: use 'there is' with a singular noun. Maintain subject-verb agreement in existential 'there is/are' constructions.

× Just sounds like the Central Park in New York.

✓ It sounds like Central Park in New York.

Sentence fragment; add subject 'It' and remove 'the' before 'Central Park' (proper names of parks usually take no article). 'Just' is unnecessary here.

× This is very famous and very amazing, so I would like to see it.

✓ It is very famous and amazing, so I would like to see it.

Use 'It is' rather than 'This is' when referring back to a place already mentioned. Combine 'very famous and amazing' to avoid redundancy; sentence otherwise acceptable.