Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: ปรับปรุงความชัดเจนและโครงสร้างประโยค เพิ่มประโยคหัวข้อและรายละเอียดสั้นๆ เชื่อมความคิดด้วยคำเชื่อม เหตุผลควรชัดเจน (เพราะต้องช่วยงานครอบครัว) และแก้ไวยากรณ์ เช่น การใช้ tense และคำว่า “in our family company” ให้ถูกต้อง

예시: No, I didn't. When I was a child I often had to help at my family's company, so I rarely had time to visit parks.

제안: ปรับความลื่นไหลและความสมบูรณ์ของข้อความ โดยใช้ linking word เพื่อเปรียบเทียบอดีตและปัจจุบัน และระบุรายละเอียด เช่น กิจกรรมที่ทำบ่อยและเวลา ทำให้คำตอบกระชับไม่เกิน 3–4 ประโยค

예시: Yes, I do. I often go jogging in the park in the morning, whereas when I was younger I rarely visited parks because I was busy with family work.

제안: แก้ไวยากรณ์และเลือกคำให้เหมาะสม เช่น use “jogging” (not “to jogging”), “good air for my health” และเชื่อมประโยคด้วยคำอธิบายเหตุผลเพิ่มเติม เช่น ประโยชน์ด้านสุขภาพและประสบการณ์ที่หลากหลาย ให้ชัดและเป็นธรรมชาติ

예시: Yes, I would. I enjoy jogging in the morning and parks offer fresh air that is good for my health. Also, different parks provide different experiences, which makes exercising more enjoyable.

제안: ทำให้ประโยคเป็นธรรมชาติและสั้นลง แก้คำผิด (เช่น “three” น่าจะเป็น “trees”), ใช้ linking word เพื่อระบุแผนในอนาคต และให้รายละเอียดเฉพาะเจาะจง เช่น กิจกรรมที่ต้องการทำหรือเวลาที่วางแผนไป

예시: Yes, definitely. I enjoy green spaces and trees, and there are several parks near my home where I relax. In the future, I would like to have a picnic with my family and spend an afternoon playing games and eating together.

× No, I didn't because when I was young I had to work in my in our family company.

✓ No, I didn't because when I was young I had to work in our family company.

Pronoun redundancy and incorrect word choice: 'my in our' is redundant and incorrect. Use a single possessive pronoun 'our' to indicate the family company. Suggestion: remove extra word and keep 'our'. Also ensure verb tense 'had to work' is correct for past obligation.

× Yes I do. I often go jogging in the park in the morning, although I didn't visit parks much in the past.

✓ Yes, I do. I often go jogging in the park in the morning, although I didn't visit parks much in the past.

Tense consistency: The sentence is acceptable because it contrasts present habitual action with past lack of action using 'didn't'. Suggestion: add a comma after 'Yes' and consider 'in the past' is redundant but acceptable.

× Yes, I would like to see more because now I love to jogging in the morning at the park and I like the good air for my healthy.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more because now I love jogging in the morning at the park and I like the fresh air for my health.

Verb form and word choice errors: after 'love' use the base verb or gerund 'jogging', not 'to jogging'. 'Good air' is unnatural; use 'fresh air'. 'for my healthy' is incorrect word class; use the noun 'health'. Suggestion: use 'love jogging' and 'fresh air for my health'. Also punctuation: add comma after 'Yes' if needed.

× The different place is different experience.

✓ Different places offer different experiences.

Ungrammatical structure and agreement: original is wordy and singular/plural mismatch. Use plural 'places' and plural 'experiences' and a clear verb 'offer' to make a natural sentence. Suggestion: restructure sentences to subject + verb + object.

× Yes, definitely. I enjoy green spaces and three, and there are several parks near my home where I can relax.

✓ Yes, definitely. I enjoy green spaces, and there are several parks near my home where I can relax.

Unclear and incorrect word 'three' inserted: likely a mistake. Remove the extraneous quantifier 'three'. Keep 'several' to indicate quantity. Suggestion: delete misplaced word and ensure quantifier matches meaning.

× In the future, I would like to have a picnic with my family and spend an afternoon playing game and eating together.

✓ In the future, I would like to have a picnic with my family and spend an afternoon playing games and eating together.

Count noun and verb form errors: 'playing game' is incorrect; use plural 'playing games' or 'playing a game'. Also sentence is otherwise fine. Suggestion: use plural 'games' or specify 'a game' depending on meaning.