Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Start with a clear topic sentence and keep tense consistent. Avoid mixing present-tense benefits with past experiences. Make the answer slightly more concise and add one specific example (e.g., where you cycled or who you met). Use a linking word to connect ideas (e.g., 'however' or 'instead').

예시: I didn't often go to parks as a child because there wasn't one in my housing complex. Instead, I used to walk and cycle around the nearby streets in the evenings, which kept me active and helped me meet neighborhood friends, such as my classmate Ali, after school.

제안: Be concise, avoid filler words (uh), and correct unclear phrases ('unwind and win'). Provide one specific routine or frequency and a linking word to explain reason and result. Use more natural vocabulary (e.g., 'helps me breathe more easily' or 'reduces stress').

예시: Yes, I really enjoy going to parks now. For example, I take a twenty-minute walk there most evenings to watch the birds and relax, which helps me breathe more easily and reduces my stress after work.

제안: Remove filler words and correct grammar ('spending' → 'spend'). Start with a clear topic sentence, then add a specific benefit or example (e.g., how a nearby park could be used). Use a linking word like 'for example' to expand coherently.

예시: Yes, I would love more parks in my city because most are downtown. For example, a small park near my housing complex would allow residents to exercise, relax, and spend time with their families without traveling far.

제안: This answer is clear and specific—good use of details. To improve further, begin with a stronger topic sentence and vary vocabulary (avoid repeating 'people' and 'exercising'). Optionally add a brief reason why Central Park stands out compared to other parks.

예시: In the future I'd like to visit Central Park in New York City because of its vast green spaces. I imagine going for long runs on the winding paths, sitting on a bench to observe joggers and street performers, and enjoying the different landscapes that make it a special place to relax.

× Instead, I loved walking or cycling around the neighborhoods in the evenings, which helps me stay active and meet friends.

✓ Instead, I loved walking or cycling around the neighborhoods in the evenings, which helped me stay active and meet friends.

The main clause is in the past tense ('loved'), so the relative clause should match that past time frame. Using 'helps' (present) is inconsistent. Change to 'helped' to maintain past tense agreement. Suggestion: keep verb tenses consistent within linked clauses.

× Currently I really enjoy going to parks because it improves my breathing and helps me relax.

✓ Currently I really enjoy going to parks because they improve my breathing and help me relax.

Pronoun reference and verb agreement: 'going to parks' is plural, so use 'they' rather than 'it'. Also use the base plural verb form 'improve' and 'help' to agree with plural subject. Suggestion: match pronouns and verbs to the number of the noun they refer to.

× Uh, I often take an evening walk there to watch the birds and unwind and win after work.

✓ I often take an evening walk there to watch the birds, unwind, and wind down after work.

The original has 'win' which is a wrong word and disrupts structure. Likely intended 'wind down' meaning relax. Also use parallel gerund phrases 'watch', 'unwind', 'wind down' separated by commas for clarity. Suggestion: choose correct verb and keep parallel structure for list of actions.

× I would love to see more parks in my city because uh, there are not many at the moment and most of them are only downtown.

✓ I would love to see more parks in my city because there are not many at the moment and most of them are only downtown.

Remove filler 'uh' for formal spoken response; not a grammatical rule but improves clarity. No article error in content; main issue is unnecessary filler. Suggestion: avoid fillers in formal answers to make sentences concise.

× It would be nice to have small parks near my housing complex so people can exercise, relax, and spending time with their families without traveling far.

✓ It would be nice to have small parks near my housing complex so people can exercise, relax, and spend time with their families without traveling far.

After 'can' use the base form of the verb ('spend'), not the -ing form ('spending'). Maintain parallel verb forms in the list 'exercise, relax, and spend'. Suggestion: after modal verbs use base verb; keep parallelism.

× I could go for long runs there or just sit on a bench and watch people exercising.

✓ I could go for long runs there or just sit on a bench and watch people exercise.

After 'watch' we can use either the -ing form or the base verb; both are acceptable but for style and parallelism with 'sit' it's better to use base verb 'exercise'. No strict grammatical error, but change improves cohesion. Suggestion: choose consistent verb forms after perception verbs for clarity.

× The variety of paths and green spaces is really appealing, and I think it would be a great place to relax and people watch.

✓ The variety of paths and green spaces is really appealing, and I think it would be a great place to relax and people-watch.

Hyphenation of 'people-watch' is standard when used as a verb phrase in this context. Alternatively 'watch people' is fine. Also 'variety' is singular so 'is' is correct. Suggestion: use 'people-watch' or rephrase to 'watch people' for clearer, idiomatic expression.