Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Improve coherence and tense consistency; start with a clear topic sentence in past tense, avoid repetitive phrases, and use one linking word to connect supporting details. Also add a specific example or memory to make the answer more vivid.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks when I was a child. For example, every weekend my family would visit the central park where I would spend hours watching people walk and feeding ducks by the pond. Moreover, I remember being fascinated by the tall trees and wide blue sky, which always made me feel calm and happy.

제안: Be more specific about routines and effects, use linking words to show cause and effect, and vary vocabulary to avoid repetition (e.g., use 'relax' or 'unwind' instead of repeating 'calm'/'peace'). Keep answer within 3–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks, especially after work. I often bring a coffee and sit on a bench to watch people walking and jogging, which helps me unwind after a stressful day. Because of the quiet surroundings and greenery, I return home feeling more relaxed and focused.

제안: Make the answer more specific and avoid vague phrases like 'a wide range of people'; explain benefits of more parks and use linking words (for example, 'because' or 'so') to structure reasons. Keep sentences concise and natural.

예시: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they improve air quality and provide peaceful places for residents to relax. For instance, parks with many trees and plants would encourage families and elderly people to spend time outdoors, which benefits public health and community life.

제안: Combine sentences to avoid redundancy and use clearer linking words ('however' rather than 'on the other hand'); give a concrete example of a park type or location to make the answer more vivid. Limit to 2–3 sentences.

예시: I don't have a particular park in mind at the moment; however, I would love to visit a botanical park with a large pond and dense tree cover. Such a place would help me relax and enjoy some quiet time surrounded by nature.

× Yes, I did enjoy going to parks as a child.

✓ Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child.

Using 'did enjoy' is grammatically acceptable for emphasis but in a simple past narrative 'enjoyed' is more natural. Use simple past 'enjoyed' to match the past context.

× I usually go there to watch people walking, doing their own thing.

✓ I usually went there to watch people walking, doing their own thing.

The question asks about childhood (past). 'Usually go' is present tense; change to past 'usually went' to keep consistent past tense.

× I also enjoyed watching the greenery, especially the trees and the skies.

✓ I also enjoyed watching the greenery, especially the trees and the sky.

'Skies' is plural but when referring to the general view above, 'sky' is more natural. This is a word choice within past context; change 'skies' to 'sky'.

× It gives me a sense of tranquility.

✓ It gave me a sense of tranquility.

Referring to childhood (past), the verb should be past tense 'gave' to agree with the past time frame.

× Yes, I do like going to parks, especially after work.

✓ Yes, I do like going to parks, especially after work.

This sentence is grammatically correct and matches the present context (now). No correction needed.

× I usually go there to have my coffee and watch the people do their own thing.

✓ I usually go there to have my coffee and watch people do their own thing.

'the people' is acceptable, but dropping 'the' makes the sentence more natural. The present tense 'usually go' matches the current habit.

× It helps me calm my nerves after work and it gives me peace just looking at the scenery.

✓ It helps calm my nerves after work and gives me peace just looking at the scenery.

Remove the second 'it' for conciseness and parallel structure: 'helps calm' and 'gives' share the subject 'It'. Both verbs remain present to match current habit.

× Yes, I'd like to see more parks in the city, especially if that park is filled with greenery like trees, plants and a wide range of people.

✓ Yes, I'd like to see more parks in the city, especially if those parks are filled with greenery like trees and plants and visited by a wide range of people.

Mixes singular 'that park' with plural 'parks' earlier. Maintain number agreement: change to 'those parks' and use 'are filled' (passive present) and 'visited by' to describe people appropriately.

× They're just enjoying the peace and calm.

✓ They'd be just enjoying the peace and calm.

Original sentence 'They're just enjoying...' is ambiguous after a conditional preference. If referring to hypothetical future parks, better: 'They'd be just enjoying...' to match 'I'd like' conditional. Alternatively, keep 'they're' for present general statement. Chosen correction aligns with conditional context.

× I don't have a specific park in mind right now.

✓ I don't have a specific park in mind right now.

This sentence is correct in present tense and matches the current state; no correction needed.

× On the other hand, I would like to visit a park that has a pond and has a lot of trees.

✓ I would like to visit a park that has a pond and a lot of trees.

'On the other hand' is unnecessary and awkward here because no contrast was presented. Also simplify 'has a pond and has a lot' to 'has a pond and a lot' for concision.

× That way I would feel more calm and I would get to enjoy the peace.

✓ That way I would feel calmer and get to enjoy the peace.

Use comparative adjective 'calmer' rather than 'more calm'. Also omit the second 'would' for smoother, idiomatic conditional phrasing: 'would feel calmer and get'.