Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Remove filler words (e.g., "Uh"), keep answer concise and add one specific vivid detail to make it more engaging. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give a specific example and a brief reason. Limit to 3–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, I did. I used to visit a small community park with my parents every Sunday, where I loved swinging high on the playground. I also remember racing my friends across the grass because it felt exciting and free.

제안: Good structure and clear reasons. Improve by adding a linking phrase and a specific example of what you do there (e.g., read, exercise) to enrich content and coherence. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, I do, but not as often as before. Nowadays I usually go to parks to relax or take a walk after a busy day, and sometimes I sit on a bench to read a book. I enjoy the fresh air and peaceful atmosphere because it helps me unwind.

제안: Avoid repetition and grammatical errors. Use linking words (e.g., "Moreover," "Additionally") and provide one specific benefit with an example. Combine similar ideas into one polished sentence and correct grammar ("kids would have fun").

예시: Definitely. More parks would encourage exercise and family outings; moreover, they would improve air quality and make the city more attractive. For example, a new riverside park could host weekend sports and playgrounds where children could safely play.

제안: Eliminate small errors and be more specific about which parks or what you want to see. Use linking words (e.g., "for example") and correct phrasing ("it will be a great experience"). Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

예시: Yes, I would like to visit famous national parks such as Japan's Fuji-Hakone-Izu National Park or Australia's Kakadu National Park. For example, I want to see Mount Fuji views and native wildlife, which I think would be an unforgettable experience.

× Nowadays I usually go to parks when I want to relax or take a walk after a busy day.

✓ Nowadays I usually go to parks when I want to relax or take a walk after a busy day.

No grammatical change needed; sentence correctly uses the present simple to describe habitual actions. Keep present simple for routines and general truths.

× They also make the cities cleaner and more attractive and also kids going to have a lot of fun when they have a lot of parks out there.

✓ They also make cities cleaner and more attractive, and children will have a lot of fun when there are many parks.

Errors: repeated 'also', informal 'kids going to have', and awkward 'have a lot of parks out there'. Corrections: remove redundant 'also', change 'kids' to 'children' for formality, use future 'will have' or 'can have' for result, and use 'there are many parks' to express existence. Use a comma before 'and' joining independent clauses. Suggestion: simplify noun phrases and use appropriate verbs for clarity.

× I love the nature so I think it's it will be really great experience to see beautiful sceneries and wildlife.

✓ I love nature, so I think it will be a really great experience to see beautiful scenery and wildlife.

Errors: 'the nature' is incorrect article use; 'it's it will' is a duplication; 'great experience' needs an article 'a'; 'sceneries' is rarely plural in English - use 'scenery'. Corrections: remove 'the' before 'nature', delete duplicated 'it', add 'a' before 'really great experience', and use singular 'scenery'. Suggestion: read aloud to catch duplicated words and check article use with uncountable nouns ('nature' and 'scenery').