Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Ваш ответ понятен и естественен, но есть небольшие проблемы с грамматикой и плавностью речи. Избегайте повторов («So I preferred…», «So it's there are…»), исправьте грамматическую ошибку «it's there are» и сократите ответ до 3–4 предложений. Добавьте одно конкретное воспоминание или пример (например, игра, событие), чтобы сделать ответ более содержательным.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because there were few places to walk in my small town. I often played tag with my friends and had picnics with my family near the pond, which are very warm memories.

제안: Ответ хороший: прямой и релевантный. Можно улучшить связность, избегая разговорных вставок («So yeah») и добавить структуру с связующими словами («therefore»/«so») и один конкретный пример (например, как часто и где вы сидите). Старайтесь не превышать 4 предложений.

예시: Nowadays I usually visit the park to read a book or sit and listen to the sounds of nature. I no longer play active games with friends, so the park is a place where I can relax and recharge, for example I go there twice a week to sit on a bench near the pond.

제안: Ответ логичный, но фразы можно сделать короче и убрать повторы («to be active and to lead active lives»). Исправьте канцеляризм «the city when I live now» на «the city I live in now». Добавьте одно конкретное следствие (например, почему это важно для детей или здоровья общества).

예시: In my small hometown I would like to see more parks because there are only two or three small ones, so children have limited places to play. In contrast, the city I live in now has many parks, which helps families and improves public health.

제안: Ответ короткий и честный, но содержит много заполнителей («uh», «umm») и повторений. Лучше сказать это уверенно и привести небольшое пояснение (почему не планируете или что вам нравится в ваших любимых парках). Уберите словесные паузы и объедините предложения в 2–3 лаконичных предложения.

예시: Not really; I don't plan to visit new parks because I'm satisfied with the two I already use: one next to my house and one in the city centre where I like the quiet benches and the flowerbeds.

× So it's there are very warm memories.

✓ So there are very warm memories.

The original sentence combines two structures ('it's' and 'there are') redundantly, causing awkwardness and incorrect sentence structure. Remove 'it's' to use the correct existential construction 'there are'. Suggestion: use 'There are very warm memories' or better 'I have very warm memories.'

× Now I usually go through the park to read a book or to sit and listen to the sounds of nature.

✓ Now I usually go to the park to read a book or sit and listen to the sounds of nature.

The phrase 'go through the park' implies passing across it rather than visiting it; use 'go to the park' for visiting. Also, parallel infinitives should be consistent: 'to read' and 'sit' (omit second 'to'). Suggestion: maintain parallel structure and correct preposition 'to'.

× but being in the park helps me relax and find some peace.

✓ but being in the park helps me relax and find peace.

The phrase 'find some peace' is acceptable but 'find peace' is more natural in this context; no grammatical error, only stylistic improvement. The gerund 'being' is used correctly. Suggestion: prefer 'find peace' for conciseness.

× In my small hometown, I would like to see more parks because there are only two or three small ones, so children have few places to be active and to lead active lives.

✓ In my small hometown, I would like to see more parks because there are only two or three small ones, so children have few places to be active and lead active lives.

The original sentence repeats the infinitive marker 'to' unnecessarily before 'lead'; for parallel structure remove the second 'to'. Suggestion: use parallel verb forms: 'to be active and lead active lives.'

× However, the city when I live now already has many parks, so I'm satisfied there.

✓ However, the city where I live now already has many parks, so I'm satisfied with that.

The clause 'the city when I live now' is incorrect; use 'where I live now' to indicate location. Also 'satisfied there' is unnatural; use 'satisfied with that' or 'satisfied with the situation.' Suggestion: use relative adverb 'where' for locations and a suitable preposition with 'satisfied'.

× No, I don't have such a plan because I'm not a big fan of parks.

✓ No, I don't have such a plan because I'm not a big fan of parks.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable; no correction needed. It is retained as is. Suggestion: none.

× Uh, for me it's enough that I have my favorite park, umm, next to my house where I live and uh, my favorite one, uh, in the center of the city.

✓ For me it's enough that I have my favorite park next to my house and another favorite in the center of the city.

The original contains filler words ('uh', 'umm') and an awkward, repetitive structure. Remove fillers and simplify: 'my favorite park next to my house and another favorite in the center of the city.' Also 'where I live' is redundant after 'next to my house.' Suggestion: avoid fillers and combine ideas clearly.