Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be clear and grammatically correct. Start with a direct topic sentence answering the question, then add one short specific detail. Use correct tense and simple sentence structure. Avoid unclear words (e.g., “attract”) and unnecessary repetition.

예시: Yes, I liked going to parks as a child. I often went there with my family on weekends to play on the swings and have picnics, which I enjoyed very much.

제안: Answer directly, then give one or two specific reasons. Use linking words (however, but) correctly and avoid awkward phrases like “strange people I have ever met.” Say “meet” instead. Keep sentences concise and grammatically correct.

예시: Not really, because I don't have much free time. However, when I do, I often visit a nearby park to relax or meet new people and chat for a while.

제안: Give a clear direct answer and then specific reasons. Avoid incorrect or unrelated words (e.g., “the pervert”). Use simple, correct phrases: “more green spaces,” “benefit residents’ health.” Provide a brief example of how parks help the community.

예시: Yes, I would. I think more parks and green spaces would improve air quality and give residents places to exercise and relax. For example, families could spend weekends there and children would have safe places to play.

제안: Give a direct answer naming a specific park or type of park, then explain why you want to visit it. Use clear vocabulary (e.g., “botanical garden,” “riverside park”) and coherent linking words such as “because” or “so that.” Keep to 1–3 short sentences.

예시: Yes, I would like to visit the new riverside park near the city center because it has walking trails and a bike path. I want to try the trails and enjoy the river views on a weekend.

× Yes, I when I attract I often went to the parks.

✓ Yes, when I was a child I often went to parks.

The original sentence has disordered and extra words ('I when I attract') and incorrect article use ('the parks'). This is a sentence structure error (ID 26). Correct order places the time clause first ('when I was a child'), uses past tense 'went' to match the time reference, and uses the plural noun 'parks' without 'the' because speaking generally about parks. Suggestion: form a clear time clause, use appropriate tense, and avoid unnecessary words.

× Umm, not really because I don't have a lot of time to go to the parks, but when I have free time I often go to the park for relaxing or talking with strange people I have ever met.

✓ Not really, because I don't have a lot of time to go to parks, but when I have free time I often go to the park to relax or to talk with people I have met.

This contains several issues: inconsistent article use ('the parks' vs 'the park'), incorrect verb form 'for relaxing' (should use infinitive 'to relax' for purpose), and awkward phrasing 'strange people I have ever met'. These are present tense and usage issues (ID 6). Use 'parks' when speaking generally and 'the park' when referring to a specific visit; use infinitives to express purpose; simplify 'people I have met' rather than 'strange' unless intended. Suggestion: keep tense consistent, use infinitives for purpose, and choose appropriate articles.

× Yes, the pervert. I'd like to see more parks in my city because as you know, perhaps have a land full of greenery and it help people. It is where people can go there and spend.

✓ Yes, I would. I'd like to see more parks in my city because they provide green spaces that help people. They are places where people can go and spend time.

Original has inappropriate word 'the pervert' and incorrect pronoun and subject references ('it help people', 'It is where people can go there and spend'). This is mainly incorrect use of pronouns and sentence structure (ID 12). Use plural pronouns 'they' to refer to parks, ensure subject-verb agreement ('they help'), and avoid redundant words like 'there'. Suggestion: replace unclear words, match pronouns to their antecedents, and correct verb forms.

× Umm and in and umm I think beside the functioning of packs like relaxing or go for joking on the city head can make.

✓ Um, I think besides their function as places to relax or socialize, parks can improve the city.

The original is largely unintelligible and has severe word order and word choice problems ('packs', 'go for joking on the city head'). This is a sentence structure error (ID 26). Reconstruct the sentence: use 'besides' or 'besides their function', correct noun 'parks', use 'relax or socialize' for activities, and state the intended result 'parks can improve the city'. Suggestion: think of a clear main clause and supporting clause, use correct vocabulary, and keep word order logical.