Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and organized: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Reduce hesitation sounds and correct word choice errors (e.g., “go to the park”, “running,” not “running Joker”; “healthy” not “Hale and hurt you”). Keep to 2–4 sentences and use a linking word if adding a detail (e.g., “because” or “for example”).

예시: Yes — I loved going to parks with my grandparents when I was a child. For example, I often ran and walked there with my friends, which helped me stay active and healthy.

제안: Provide a clear opening statement and one or two specific reasons with smooth linking words. Avoid fillers (“uh”) and small grammar errors: say “in the park” and “in the morning” and use adjectives correctly (“quiet and peaceful”). Limit to 3–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, I still go to the park regularly because I’m health-conscious. For instance, I run, cycle and do stretches there, and I prefer going in the morning because the atmosphere is quiet and peaceful.

제안: Structure your answer: give a direct opinion then support it with one clear reason and a brief example. Correct grammar (e.g., “I would like to see more parks,” “there are very few parks,” “the government is planning to build larger parks”). Avoid repetition and unnecessary phrases.

예시: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because there are very few and the existing ones are small. For example, the local government is planning to build larger parks, which would give families more space to relax and exercise.

제안: Answer directly, then give specific details (name, location, reason) using correct phrases: “a stone’s throw away,” “was built last month,” “I’ve been busy.” Use linking words like “because” or “so” correctly and avoid repeated fillers. Keep to 2–3 sentences.

예시: Yes, I want to visit Mountain Pleasant Park, which is just a stone’s throw from my home and was built last month. I haven’t had time because I was busy, but my friends recommended it, so I plan to go next weekend.

× I still remember when I was young and I liked to go park with my grandparents and I like to spend time there, Uh, and I like to do different kind of, uh, activities with my peers, uh, which include, uh, running Joker and some walking.

✓ I still remember when I was young and I liked to go to the park with my grandparents, and I liked to spend time there. I liked doing different kinds of activities with my peers, which included running, jogging and walking.

Errors: missing preposition 'to' before 'park' and inconsistent verb forms. Use 'go to the park' (preposition required) and parallel verb forms: 'liked to spend' and 'liked doing' or keep both infinitives. 'different kind' should be plural 'different kinds'. 'Joker' is a misrecognition of 'jogging' so use 'jogging'. Use past tense 'included' to match 'liked' and 'was young'. Improve by ensuring correct prepositions, plural forms, and consistent verb forms.

× So which helped me a lot to stay Hale and hurt you.

✓ This helped me a lot to stay hale and healthy.

The original has wrong words: 'Hale and hurt you' is incorrect. Likely intended 'hale and hearty' or 'hale and healthy'. Use 'This helped me a lot to stay hale and healthy' or 'This helped me stay healthy'. Also replace 'which' with 'This' to refer back to activities. Keep tense consistent.

× Uh, yes, I like to, uh, go to the park every day because I am a health conscious person and, uh, on the park, I like to do different kind of activity where we can do, uh, running, cycling and uh, some exercise, which helped me to stay healthy.

✓ Yes, I like to go to the park every day because I am a health-conscious person, and at the park I like to do different kinds of activities such as running, cycling and some exercises, which help me to stay healthy.

Errors: 'on the park' is wrong preposition; use 'at the park'. 'different kind of activity' should be 'different kinds of activities' (plural). 'helped' should be present 'help' to match habitual present. Hyphenate 'health-conscious'. Use 'such as' to list examples. Ensure subject-verb agreement and correct prepositions.

× Especially I like to go on the park, uh, at morning because in the morning time environment is so quiet and peace.

✓ Especially, I like to go to the park in the morning because the environment is so quiet and peaceful.

Errors: wrong preposition 'on the park' -> 'to the park'; 'at morning' -> 'in the morning'; 'in the morning time' redundant, use 'in the morning' or 'in the morning time'. 'peace' should be adjective 'peaceful' to describe environment. Use 'the environment' for specificity.

× Yes, in future Aberdell liked to see a more parks in my area because I think governments is planning to build new parks in my area.

✓ Yes, in the future I would like to see more parks in my area because I think the government is planning to build new parks here.

Errors: tense and modal issues: 'in future' -> 'in the future'; 'Aberdell' seems extraneous or misrecognized—replace with 'I'; 'liked' should be 'would like' for future preference; 'a more parks' incorrect article and plural -> 'more parks'; 'governments is' -> 'the government is' (singular with article). Use correct modal 'would like' for preferences about the future.

× Because in my area there is a very like less park and also it's very small.

✓ Because in my area there are very few parks and they are also very small.

Errors: subject-verb agreement and quantifier: 'there is' should be 'there are' for plural 'parks'. 'very like less' is incorrect; use 'very few' or 'not many'. Use plural 'parks' and plural verb 'are'. Clarify plural pronoun 'they' for parks.

× So government is planning to like make a wider parks in future.

✓ So the government is planning to make wider parks in the future.

Errors: missing definite article 'the' before 'government'; 'make a wider parks' mixes singular article with plural noun — use 'make wider parks' or 'make a wider park'. 'in future' -> 'in the future'. Remove filler 'like'.

× Uh, yes, uh, the mountain Pleasant park, which is just located stone throw away from my home and it is just built, uh, just the last month.

✓ Yes, the Pleasant Mountain Park, which is located a stone's throw away from my home, was just built last month.

Errors: word order in name and capitalization: 'Mountain Pleasant' -> 'Pleasant Mountain Park'. 'located stone throw away' requires 'located a stone's throw away'. 'it is just built, just the last month' incorrect tense; use past passive 'was just built last month'. Use correct articles and past participle in passive 'was built'.

× So I was a busy, so I don't have time to go there and my friends recommended me to visit over there.

✓ I was busy, so I didn't have time to go there, and my friends recommended that I visit it.

Errors: unnecessary article 'a' before 'busy'; tense inconsistency: 'I was busy' (past) requires 'didn't have' (past) not 'don't have'. 'recommended me to visit' is incorrect; use 'recommended that I visit' or 'recommended I visit' or 'recommended visiting'. Avoid 'over there' when 'there' suffices.

× So maybe the next week I'm free on the weekend and I would like to go there.

✓ Maybe next week I'll be free on the weekend and I'd like to go there.

Errors: 'the next week' -> 'next week'; contraction and modal: use future 'I'll be' for planned availability; 'I would like' -> 'I'd like' or 'I would like' is acceptable but match future context. Ensure natural word order and tense consistency.