Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Bạn cần trả lời trực tiếp và rõ ràng hơn, tránh những cụm từ không chính xác (ví dụ “5050”, “choke”) và câu rời rạc. Hãy bắt đầu bằng một câu chủ đề ngắn gọn (có/không + lý do), rồi đưa thêm 1–2 chi tiết cụ thể liên quan đến hoạt động hoặc cảm xúc khi đi công viên. Sử dụng liên từ đơn giản để mạch lạc (for example, because, so). Giữ độ dài không quá 4–5 câu.

예시: Yes, I liked going to parks as a child because they were safe places to play. For example, I often played tag with neighborhood children and rode my bicycle on the paths. I also enjoyed talking with my friends while sitting on the grass, which made me feel happy and relaxed.

제안: Câu trả lời khá rõ ràng nhưng có thể cải thiện bằng cách thêm chi tiết cụ thể và một câu kết liên kết ý. Sử dụng từ nối để giải thích lợi ích và nêu ví dụ cụ thể về thói quen của bạn để tăng độ thuyết phục. Giữ cấu trúc: chủ đề + lý do + ví dụ + kết luận ngắn.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they are peaceful and have fresh air. For instance, I usually go for a 20-minute jog after school which helps me relax and stay fit. Overall, parks are a convenient place for both exercise and quiet time.

제안: Ý tưởng tốt nhưng câu hơi lủng củng và có vài lỗi ngữ pháp / từ không phù hợp (ví dụ “have improved air quality”, “pickup park”). Hãy dùng cấu trúc rõ ràng: nêu ý chính, giải thích lý do cụ thể (sức khỏe, giao lưu), và đưa ví dụ về công viên bạn thích. Tránh từ mơ hồ và sửa lỗi danh từ/động từ để câu mạch lạc hơn.

예시: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide space for exercise and help improve air quality. For example, I often visit a sports park near my house to jog on weekends, and I think a small community park with benches and a playground would be a great addition for families.

제안: Cần sửa lỗi từ vựng và ngữ pháp lớn, ý cũng mâu thuẫn (crowded vs peaceful). Làm rõ bạn muốn đến đâu và tại sao, mô tả cụ thể điểm khác biệt về không khí hoặc hoạt động. Sử dụng tối đa 3-4 câu, tránh mâu thuẫn trong mô tả và dùng từ phù hợp (e.g., 'zoo', 'theme park', 'peaceful').

예시: In the future, I would like to visit a wildlife park or zoo because I enjoy seeing animals up close. For example, a nearby wildlife park has many species and educational exhibits, which would be both interesting and relaxing compared with crowded city parks.

× It's 5050. When I go to the park, I can go and choke and play with the children in the park and so I can talk with my friends, with my neighborhood at the park.

✓ It's fifty-fifty. When I went to the park as a child, I could run and play with the other children there, and I could talk with my friends and neighbors at the park.

The original sentence has several sentence structure and word choice problems: '5050' should be written as 'fifty-fifty' and is colloquial; 'When I go to the park' conflicts with the past context 'as a child' so use past tense 'went'; 'choke' is the wrong verb here and should be 'run' or 'chase' or omitted; 'children in the park' is redundant with earlier phrase so simplify; 'with my neighborhood' is incorrect noun use — use 'neighbors'. Suggestion: keep tense consistent, choose appropriate verbs, and use correct nouns for people (neighbor -> neighbors).

× Well yes, I still like going to parks because they are peaceful and have fresh air. I can go for a short walk or jog there after school.

✓ Well, yes, I still like going to parks because they are peaceful and have fresh air. I go there for a short walk or jog after school.

Using 'I can go' implies ability rather than a habitual action. Because the question asks about current habits, use simple present 'I go' to express routine. Also add a comma after 'Well' for natural pacing. Suggestion: use simple present for regular activities ('I go', 'I jog').

× Well I would like to see more parks in my city because they give people space to exercise and relax and they have improved air quality. I often go to a sport park near my house to jog on weekends and the pickup park would be nicer.

✓ Well, I would like to see more parks in my city because they give people space to exercise and relax and improve air quality. I often go to a sports park near my house to jog on weekends, and having a better playground or picnic area would be nicer.

'They have improved air quality' is awkward; use 'improve air quality' to describe what parks do (infinitive/verb) instead of a past participle that implies parks already completed the action. 'Sport park' is not natural in English; use 'sports park' or 'sports ground'. 'Pickup park' is unclear; likely intended 'playground' or 'picnic area' so replace with a clearer noun. Suggestion: use correct collocations ('improve air quality', 'sports park', 'playground').

× I want to go telecom theme park in the future. They have many amazing animals in here and unlike the atmosphere in this park because it's very crowded and have a peaceful atmosphere.

✓ I want to go to a theme park in the future. They have many amazing animals there, and unlike the atmosphere in my local park, that theme park is not very crowded and has a peaceful atmosphere.

Missing preposition 'to' and missing article 'a' before 'theme park' cause article/preposition errors. 'Telecom theme park' seems incorrect or a mistranslation; use 'a theme park' unless a specific name is meant. 'In here' is awkward in this context; use 'there'. Subject-verb agreement: 'it's very crowded and have a peaceful atmosphere' mixes singular and plural verbs; correct to 'is not very crowded and has a peaceful atmosphere' or clarify contrast. Suggestion: include necessary articles and prepositions, fix demonstratives ('there'), and keep subject-verb agreement consistent.