Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Reduce repetition and finish ideas clearly; keep answer within 3–4 sentences with a clear topic sentence and specific supporting detail. Use linking words (for example, because/so) to make the response coherent and avoid unfinished fragments.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because they gave me space to play and explore. For example, I spent hours on the swings and slides with my friends, and my parents often took us on weekend picnics, which created many happy memories. Those outings helped me relax and feel close to my family.

제안: Eliminate fillers and correct repetitions; state a clear topic sentence then add one or two specific reasons using linking words (because/so). Use precise verbs and avoid fragmentary phrases.

예시: Not really; I don't visit parks often now because I have a busy schedule and prefer exercising at the gym. For instance, I usually do a one-hour workout there and sometimes go jogging around my neighborhood to clear my mind.

제안: Make sentences concise and specific; avoid filler words and repetition. Use linking words (because/so/therefore) and give one concrete benefit example (e.g., reduced pollution, safe play area).

예시: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because our area is crowded and lacks green space. For example, additional parks would provide safe places for children to play and offer residents a quiet area to relax, which could also help improve air quality.

제안: Avoid repeated words and finish the thought. Provide a clear topic sentence, a specific reason, and a brief plan or detail. Use past/present tense consistently and remove hesitations.

예시: Yes, I want to visit the nearby National Park because it looks beautiful and peaceful, and I enjoy hiking. I am planning a summer trip with a group of friends to hike the trails and camp overnight, which should be a great chance to relax and explore nature.

× I spent hours playing on on the swings and slides with my friends, and my parents often took us on weekend picnics, which felt like a wonderful chance to relax and make lasting memories.

✓ I spent hours playing on the swings and slides with my friends, and my parents often took us on weekend picnics, which felt like a wonderful chance to relax and make lasting memories.

The repeated word 'on on' is a typographical error; grammatically the verb + -ing 'playing' is correct. Remove the extra 'on' to fix the sentence. Suggestion: proofread to remove duplicated words.

× Parks are the place where we can enjoy and get.

✓ Parks are places where we can enjoy ourselves and relax.

The original ends abruptly with 'and get', leaving the sentence incomplete (sentence structure error). Also 'the place' should be plural 'places' to match general statement. 'Enjoy ourselves and relax' completes the idea. Suggestion: ensure sentences express a complete idea and match singular/plural consistency.

× Uh, I don't go to the park parks much these days because I usually have a a busy schedule.

✓ Uh, I don't go to the parks much these days because I usually have a busy schedule.

Two issues: duplicated words 'park parks' and 'a a' are typographical. Also 'the park' is better as plural 'the parks' when speaking generally. Remove duplicates and use plural to indicate general frequency. Suggestion: use plural for general statements ('parks') and remove accidental duplicate words.

× I prefer going to the gym and doing indoor act indoor workout which help me relax and refresh my mind after a long day.

✓ I prefer going to the gym and doing indoor workouts which help me relax and refresh my mind after a long day.

'Indoor act indoor workout' contains repeated and incorrect phrase. 'Doing indoor workouts' correctly uses noun 'workouts' following 'doing'. Also 'which help' must agree with plural 'workouts'. Suggestion: simplify to 'doing indoor workouts' and ensure subject-verb agreement.

× Even uh, I I do jogging and walk.

✓ Even, I go jogging and walking.

Original has duplicates 'I I' and mixes verbs awkwardly. Use 'go jogging and walking' or 'I jog and walk' for parallel structure. 'Go jogging and walking' is smoother. Suggestion: remove duplicated words and keep parallel verb forms.

× Oh yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because I live in a very crowded area and there are very few green space spaces.

✓ Oh yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because I live in a very crowded area and there are very few green spaces.

Duplicated word 'space spaces' is a typo and 'green spaces' should be plural to match 'very few'. Use plural noun for countable items. Suggestion: use 'green spaces' and avoid duplicate typing.

× More parks could give people more uh, place to relax and enjoy nature and children could have space, A safer place and large area to play even they can.

✓ More parks could give people more places to relax and enjoy nature, and children could have safer and larger areas to play.

This sentence has multiple issues: singular/plural mismatches ('place' should be 'places'), random capitalization 'A', awkward ordering 'large area to play even they can', and run-on structure. Recast to parallel phrases: 'more places' and 'safer and larger areas'. Suggestion: keep parallel structure, match singular/plural, and avoid unnecessary words.

× Well, yes, I would like to visit the National Park near my country because it look very beautiful and peaceful and I love hiking and recently I'm I'm just deciding to go on a on a summer break with my group of with with a group of a group of friends so we.

✓ Well, yes, I would like to visit the national park near my country because it looks very beautiful and peaceful, and I love hiking. Recently I'm just deciding to go on a summer break with a group of friends.

Multiple problems: 'it look' should be 'it looks' (third person singular present), duplicates 'I'm I'm', 'a on a' and repeated 'with with a group of a group of' are typographical. Also sentence was incomplete; split into two sentences for clarity. Use 'national park' lowercase unless proper name. Suggestion: ensure subject-verb agreement ('it looks'), remove duplicate words, and complete sentences to convey full ideas.