Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition and fillers, and add one specific supporting detail using a linking word. Use correct grammar (e.g., past tense and articles).

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. For example, there was a large park with a river near my home, and I often went there to play and feed the ducks.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence in present tense, reduce hesitations, and finish your thought. Add one specific reason with a linking word. Use correct verb forms and articles.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. Whenever I move to a new neighbourhood, I make sure to choose a place near a park because I like walking and working outdoors there.

제안: Answer directly then give a clear reason using a linking word. Avoid unclear phrases and repetition. Be specific about benefits (e.g., exercise, relaxation).

예시: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because they would give people more places to exercise and relax. For instance, having nearby parks would make it easier for me to go jogging every morning.

제안: Provide a clear statement about your plan, avoid repetitions and unfinished sentences, and add one specific reason for visiting using a linking word. Mention what you expect to do there.

예시: Yes, I am planning to visit the East Coastline Park in the near future because it is large and scenic. For example, I hope to walk along the beach path and take photos of the coastline.

× Yes, I very like going to park as a child.

✓ Yes, I liked going to parks as a child.

This sentence has an adverb/verb placement and tense issue. 'Very like' is incorrect; English uses 'really liked' or simply the past tense 'liked' for past habitual actions. Also 'going to park' needs article/plural: 'going to parks' or 'going to the park'. Because the question asks about childhood, use past tense 'liked'. Suggestion: use 'I really liked going to parks as a child.'

× There is a river, uh, there is a river, uh, there is a large park not far from my home.

✓ There was a river and a large park not far from my home.

The speaker refers to childhood, so past tense 'was' is appropriate (tense consistency). Also repeating 'there is a river' is redundant; combine with 'and'. Use articles correctly: 'a large park'. Suggestion: say 'There was a river and a large park not far from my home.'

× So, uh, it is, uh, very, it is, umm, it is fun for me.

✓ So, it was very fun for me.

Because the context is childhood, maintain past tense 'was'. The original repeats fillers and uses present tense inconsistent with the context. Suggestion: 'So, it was a lot of fun for me.'

× Yes, I very like going to park every time I change my home location, change my home, I will of, uh, definitely I will, uh, deliberately find a find, uh, some places near, uh, not far from a park.

✓ Yes, I really like going to parks; every time I move, I definitely try to find a place not far from a park.

Multiple issues: 'very like' is incorrect - use 'really like' (adverb placement/choice). 'going to park' needs plural/article 'going to parks'. 'Change my home location' is awkward; 'move' is natural. 'I will of' is incorrect; use 'I will' or 'I try to'. 'deliberately find a find' is repetition and filler; simplify to 'try to find'. Use consistent present tense for current preference. Suggestion: 'Yes, I really like going to parks. Whenever I move, I try to find a home near a park.'

× Uh, I like going to, I like working in the.

✓ I like going to parks, and I also enjoy working outdoors there.

The original is incomplete ('working in the.'), missing an object/place. This is a sentence structure error; complete the thought. If the speaker means working in parks, express 'working outdoors there' or 'working in parks'. Suggestion: 'I like going to parks, and I also enjoy working there.'

× Yes, I like seeing more parks in the cities in in my city because with the soul parks and not far from my home I can have many choice working them all go jogging there.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because if parks are close to my home I will have many choices for working out and going jogging there.

Many problems: 'seeing more parks in the cities in in my city' is redundant and ungrammatical (sentence structure/article issues). 'soul parks' unclear—likely 'such parks'. 'many choice' should be 'many choices'. 'working them all go jogging there' is ungrammatical; likely 'working out and going jogging there'. Also conditional 'if parks are close' fits meaning. Suggestion: 'Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because if parks are close to my home I will have many choices for exercising and jogging.'

× Yes, I recently I want to to I'm planning to go to the East Coastline park because it is a little bit far from my home.

✓ Yes, I'm planning to go to the East Coastline Park because it is a little bit far from my home.

Tense and redundancy issues: 'recently I want to to I'm planning' mixes present and present progressive. Use present progressive 'I'm planning' for a future plan. Remove duplicate words. Capitalize proper noun 'East Coastline Park'. Suggestion: 'I'm planning to go to the East Coastline Park because it is a bit far from my home.'

× So but it is very large and suitable for.

✓ It is very large and suitable for outdoor activities.

Sentence ends incomplete ('suitable for.'). This is a sentence structure error; provide the object of 'suitable for', e.g., 'outdoor activities' or 'jogging and picnics'. Suggestion: 'It is very large and suitable for jogging and picnics.'