Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Give a complete, grammatically correct topic sentence and one or two brief supporting details. Avoid repetition (e.g., "sliding with the slide"). Use linking words if adding details. Keep to under five sentences.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often played with my friends on the swings and slides, and we would spend hours running around the grass. Those visits were my favourite part of the weekends because they felt free and fun.

제안: Start with a clear topic sentence stating your current feeling, then add one specific reason or example. Use linking words (however, although, but, because) and correct grammar (punctuation, verb forms). Keep it concise and coherent.

예시: I sometimes enjoy going to parks, but not as often as when I was a child. Although I'm 28 and usually busy, I still go occasionally to relax because watching children play brings back happy memories and the atmosphere is peaceful.

제안: Answer directly and provide a specific reason or two. Use proper sentence structure and avoid vague fragments or repeated words. Use linking words (for example, because, therefore) to connect ideas.

예시: Yes, I would like to see more parks in our city because they improve residents' wellbeing and provide safe places for families to exercise. For example, more parks would offer green space for children to play and for adults to relax.

제안: Give a clear, specific destination and a reason why you want to visit it. Avoid repetition and unclear names. Use one or two supporting details and linking words to explain your choice.

예시: Yes, I would love to visit Disneyland in the future because I enjoy themed attractions and the lively atmosphere. I am especially excited to try the rides and see the parades, which I have only seen in videos so far.

× Yes, like playing with my friends, sliding with the slide and.

✓ Yes, I liked playing with my friends, sliding on the slide, and so on.

Student omitted subject and auxiliary and used incorrect preposition 'with' for the slide; 'like' in past context should be 'liked' (past tense). Use 'sliding on the slide' and add a concluding phrase. Suggestion: include subject 'I', use past tense 'liked', use preposition 'on' for playground equipment and complete the list.

× Sometimes but I'm an adult now I'm 28 years old and it's not my thing anymore but seeing those child reminisce the past and if I have a chance then I would love to for a peaceful and enjoy.

✓ Sometimes, but I'm an adult now; I'm 28 years old, and it's not my thing anymore. Seeing those children reminisce about the past makes me happy, and if I have a chance I would love to go for a peaceful visit and enjoy it.

Multiple problems: missing punctuation and sentence structure errors, incorrect noun plural 'child' should be 'children', missing preposition 'about' after 'reminisce', incorrect verb forms and awkward phrasing 'love to for a peaceful and enjoy'. Corrections: split into two sentences, use 'children' (plural), add 'about', use 'makes me happy' to link cause and effect, and rephrase final clause to 'love to go for a peaceful visit and enjoy it.' Suggestion: break long run-on sentences, ensure subject-verb agreement and correct prepositions.

× Of course, seeing many parks in our town give us more. Vibe happy vibe and sing sing basta.

✓ Of course, having many parks in our town gives us more positive vibes; people feel happier and can sing and relax.

Problems: subject-verb agreement 'parks ... give' should be 'gives' when referring to 'having many parks' as a singular idea, and awkward, fragmented expressions 'Vibe happy vibe and sing sing basta' are unclear and ungrammatical. Rephrase to 'gives us more positive vibes' and use proper verbs 'feel happier' and 'can sing and relax.' Suggestion: state the subject clearly, ensure verb agrees with subject, and avoid repetitions; use clear nouns and verbs.

× Yes, I would like to visit UMM. Disney. Disney is Disney apart. Disneyland. MMM.

✓ Yes, I would like to visit Disneyland in the future.

The original is fragmented and contains unfinished words and repetitions. Combine into a single clear sentence that answers the question, using the correct proper noun 'Disneyland.' Suggestion: avoid fragments and repeated words; provide a concise, complete response that matches the question's future-tense context.'