Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more grammatically accurate, concise and coherent. Start with a clear topic sentence (past tense), avoid fillers, and give one or two specific supporting details linked logically. Use past tense consistently and replace vague phrases with precise descriptions.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I felt refreshed and full of energy after playing there, and I especially enjoyed watching and riding the Ferris wheel because it felt exciting and gave me a great view of the whole park.

제안: Use accurate grammar and clearer vocabulary. Begin with a direct statement in the present tense, then briefly explain why with one or two concrete reasons. Avoid repetition and filler words.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks as an adult. I find they help me relax and reconnect with my childhood, and I also like trying the more adventurous rides at theme parks for the thrill.

제안: Give a direct, complete answer and add a specific reason. Avoid hesitations and awkward phrasing. State whether you would like more parks and explain how they would benefit the community with one clear example.

예시: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because our area is small and green spaces are limited. More parks would give families a nearby place to exercise, relax, and hold community events.

제안: Answer directly and use natural phrasing. Mention specific parks or locations and explain why you want to visit them with one concrete detail. Keep it concise and avoid vague phrasing.

예시: Yes, I want to visit several theme parks abroad, such as Tokyo Disneyland in Japan and Universal Studios in the US, because they offer unique rides and attractions not available at local parks.

× Yes, I do love going to park when I was a child because, uh, I feel my, because I feel my energy is healing.

✓ Yes, I loved going to parks when I was a child because I felt my energy was healed.

Tense is inconsistent: the speaker refers to childhood (past) but uses present tense 'do love' and 'feel'. Use past tense 'loved' and 'felt' for actions and states in childhood. Also use plural 'parks' (general) and avoid repetition 'because, uh, I feel my'. Suggestion: use simple past for past habits and streamline the sentence: 'I loved going to parks when I was a child because I felt refreshed.'

× I enjoy at the park.

✓ I enjoyed being at the park.

Incorrect structure and tense: 'enjoy' + preposition 'at' is awkward here and tense should be past to match childhood context. Use 'enjoyed being at the park' or 'enjoyed going to the park.' Also include article 'the' before 'park' when referring to a specific place.

× I enjoy watching, uh, watching Ferris wheel where you go around.

✓ I enjoyed watching the Ferris wheel that goes round.

Preposition and article errors: 'watching Ferris wheel' needs the definite article 'the'. Also 'where you go around' is an incorrect clause; use a relative clause 'that goes round' or 'that goes around.' Use past tense 'enjoyed' for childhood.

× Even though I'm adult now, I still have quite the parks because this is the way that I, uh, heal my inner inner child and I want to enjoy the extreme rides that I see in the theme park.

✓ Even though I'm an adult now, I still like parks a lot because they help heal my inner child, and I want to enjoy the extreme rides at theme parks.

Multiple issues: missing article 'an' before 'adult'; awkward phrase 'have quite the parks' should be 'like parks a lot' or 'still enjoy parks'; repeated word 'inner' should be once; tense and reference corrected to present ('I'm an adult now' and 'they help'). Use plural 'theme parks' and 'at' for location of rides.

× I do love to see more parks here in what one city? But our area or our city is a small area.

✓ I would love to see more parks here in our city, but our area is quite small.

Awkward phrasing and article misuse: 'I do love to see' is emphatic but unnatural; 'what one city?' is incorrect. Use conditional 'would love' for preference. Remove repetitive 'our area or our city' and choose 'our area' or 'our city.' 'Small area' can be improved to 'quite small.'

× There's a lot of theme parks in the future I want to go like Hong Kong, Japan and the US.

✓ There are a lot of theme parks I want to visit in the future, such as those in Hong Kong, Japan, and the US.

Subject-verb agreement and sentence structure: 'There's' (there is) is incorrect for plural 'a lot of theme parks' — use 'There are'. Also word order: place 'in the future' after 'visit' or set off with commas; use 'visit' instead of 'go' for clarity and add 'such as' to list examples. Ensure commas between list items.