Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is clear and relevant with a good topic sentence and supporting details. To improve, vary sentence openings, avoid repeating 'I' too often, and add one specific memory or sensory detail to make the response more vivid. Keep within 3–4 sentences and use a linking word to connect ideas.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. For example, I often spent entire afternoons on the swings and slides with my best friend, laughing until sunset; my parents also arranged weekend picnics where we ate sandwiches and played tag on the grass.

제안: The answer is direct but a bit short and contains minor grammar issues. Improve by briefly explaining reasons and using a linking word (e.g., because, so) and correct verb forms. Add one specific example of what you do at home to enrich content.

예시: Not really, because there are few good parks close to where I live, so I usually stay at home and relax. For instance, I often read novels in the afternoon and make tea, which I find more comfortable than travelling to distant parks.

제안: Good answer with a clear opinion and reason. To improve, simplify language (avoid awkward phrases like 'area of technology'), use one linking phrase, and give a concrete example of what additional parks could offer (e.g., playgrounds, walking paths). Keep it concise and natural.

예시: Yes, definitely. As life becomes more tech-focused, people need green spaces to unwind, so more parks with walking paths and playgrounds would provide a healthy place for exercise and relaxation.

제안: You state your preference clearly but there are grammar and wording problems (e.g., 'one of my final destination', repeated 'I'). Improve by correcting grammar, giving a reason why you want to visit, and including a specific feature you want to see. Use one linking word to connect ideas.

예시: I'd love to visit Iran's National Park someday because I've heard on social media that it has stunning mountain scenery and rare wildlife, so I want to hike its trails and take photographs.

× I tend to stay at home, relax and reading books.

✓ I tend to stay at home, relax and read books.

This sentence mixes verb forms in a coordinated list. After 'tend to' the base form is required; 'relax' is correct but 'reading' is a present participle which is inconsistent. Use the base form 'read' to keep parallel structure: 'relax and read books.' Ensure verbs in a series share the same form.

× I think in this area of technology, people need more time to relax and find a sense of freedom, so I think parks play a main role in finding entertainment and more fun activities.

✓ I think in this age of technology, people need more time to relax and find a sense of freedom, so I think parks play a major role in providing entertainment and more fun activities.

'Area of technology' is unnatural; 'age of technology' is the correct idiom. Also 'play a main role in finding entertainment' is awkward: 'play a major role in providing entertainment' uses correct collocations. Replace 'main' with 'major' and 'finding' with 'providing' to clarify meaning and improve preposition/collocation use.

× I would really like to visit Iran's National Park in the future.

✓ I would really like to visit Iran's national park in the future.

When using a common noun after a proper noun in this context, the adjective should be lowercase: 'national park' not 'National Park' unless it is the official name. Also, consider using the official park name if available. This fixes capitalization/article style.

× I heard about it in social media and my friends talk about it a lot.

✓ I heard about it on social media and my friends talk about it a lot.

The correct preposition is 'on social media' rather than 'in social media.' This is a preposition collocation with 'social media.' The plural 'social media' is fine; the change fixes common usage.

× I think it's one of my final destination.

✓ I think it's one of my final destinations.

The phrase 'one of' requires a plural noun after it. 'Destination' should be plural 'destinations.' This is a sentence structure and agreement issue: use 'one of my final destinations.'

× I I want to visit there someday.

✓ I want to visit there someday.

The sentence contains a duplicated subject 'I I.' Remove the extra 'I.' Also, 'visit there' is acceptable colloquially, but more natural is 'visit it' or 'go there.' Consider: 'I want to visit it someday.'