Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Give a concise direct topic sentence, fix grammar, avoid repetition, and add one specific memory or feeling to support your answer. Use linking words to make it coherent.

예시: I didn't have parks in my hometown, so I only visited parks for the first time as a teenager after I moved away. Because parks were new to me, I enjoyed the open space and playing on the swings with friends, which felt exciting compared with my previous neighborhood.

제안: Start with a clear topic sentence, correct small grammar issues, and organize supporting details with linking words. Be specific about what you enjoy (activities, sights) and avoid vague phrases.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. Since I moved to Baguio City, I visit parks every weekend because I like watching people and enjoying the scenery. For example, at Burnham Park I often rent a boat on the lake and relax under the pine trees, which helps me unwind.

제안: Provide a direct answer, avoid repeating phrases, and explain reasons with specifics. Use linking words (however, because, therefore) and suggest feasible types of parks given space constraints.

예시: Yes, I would like to see more parks, especially small pocket parks and rooftop gardens. However, because space is limited in our city, the authorities could focus on converting vacant lots into community gardens or building rooftop green areas, which would still give residents access to outdoor space.

제안: Answer directly and add specific examples of parks or features you want to visit. Avoid vague complaints and use linking words to explain reasons and expectations.

예시: Yes, I want to visit parks outside Baguio, such as Rizal Park in Manila or La Mesa Eco Park, to experience different climates and landscapes. For instance, I would like to see coastal parks for sea views and tropical gardens to compare with Baguio's pine forests.

× I grew up in a province where there were not there weren't any parks at all, and I've only been into parks when I was already in my teenage years when I moved out from my province and going there. I think I liked it.

✓ I grew up in a province where there weren't any parks at all, and I didn't visit parks until my teenage years, when I moved away from my province and went to them. I think I liked them.

This sentence contains several sentence structure and verb form errors. 'there were not there weren't' is redundant; use 'there weren't'. 'I've only been into parks when I was already in my teenage years' mixes present perfect with a past time reference; use simple past 'I didn't visit parks until my teenage years'. 'moved out from my province and going there' mixes verb forms; use parallel past verbs 'moved away ... and went to them'. Also pronoun agreement: 'parks' plural requires 'them' and 'I liked them'. Suggestion: keep tense consistent for past events, eliminate redundancy, and ensure verbs are parallel and pronouns agree with plural nouns.

× I do, actually, after moving to Baguio City where there are a lot of parks, I go there every weekend because I like to watch other people's go about their day.

✓ I do, actually. After moving to Baguio City, where there are a lot of parks, I go there every weekend because I like to watch other people go about their day.

The original has punctuation and tense flow issues plus an incorrect possessive: 'other people's go' should be 'other people go'. Split into two sentences for clarity. Use simple present 'I go' and 'I like to watch other people go' for habitual actions. Remove the unnecessary possessive apostrophe.

× I like the scenery you're going to see at the parks, the relaxation you're going to feel, and specifically I like Burnham Park here in Baguio.

✓ I like the scenery you see in the parks, the relaxation you feel, and specifically I like Burnham Park here in Baguio.

The original uses future construction 'you're going to see/feel' which is unnecessary when describing general experiences. Use simple present 'you see/you feel' for general truths. This corrects tense usage and makes the sentence more natural.

× I do like to see more parks in our city, parks that are unique and I think considering the space we have available in our city, parks are no longer viable. But I think if we have a chance, I think I would like to see.

✓ I would like to see more parks in our city, especially unique ones. However, considering the space we have available, new parks may not be viable. If we had the opportunity, I would like to see more.

Original mixes present/future modal use awkwardly and repeats 'I think'. Use 'would like' to express desire and conditional 'may not be viable' for possibility. 'If we have a chance' should be conditional past-subjunctive 'If we had the opportunity' or 'If we get a chance'. Make sentences concise and remove repetition.

× I think any parks beyond Baguio is the goal that I want to go to because I'm so sick of staying here in Baguio and seeing different parks with different weathers.

✓ I think visiting parks outside Baguio is my goal because I'm tired of staying here and I want to see parks with different kinds of weather.

There is a subject-verb agreement and noun phrase issue: 'any parks beyond Baguio is' should be 'visiting parks outside Baguio is' or 'parks beyond Baguio are'. 'Sick of staying here in Baguio' is informal; 'tired of staying here' is more natural. 'Different weathers' is uncountable; use 'different kinds of weather'. Keep present tense for current desire.

× I think it's going to be amazing.

✓ I think it would be amazing.

Context expresses a hypothetical future desire (visiting parks outside Baguio), so 'would be' is more appropriate than 'is going to be'. Use 'would' for imagined or hoped-for experiences; 'is going to be' implies a planned definite future event.