Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Improve grammar, sentence structure and clarity. Start with a clear topic sentence, use correct past tense and fewer fragmented sentences, and add one or two specific details. Use linking words (e.g., "when", "and") to connect ideas. Keep answer to 2–4 coherent sentences.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. We often went to a small park near my home where there were many swings and slides, and my friends and I tried every swing when we visited. Those afternoons were great fun and I have fond memories of playing there.

제안: Reduce hesitations and correct grammar (subject-verb agreement). Begin with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons using linking words like "because" or "so". Avoid filler words (uh, umm) to sound more fluent.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. I go almost every day because fresh air and light exercise refresh me, and I often feel happier and less stressed after a short walk there.

제안: Use precise vocabulary and correct grammar. Replace vague words ("exploding", "strings") with accurate terms ("new", "features"). Provide one clear reason and an example. Link ideas with words like "because" or "for example".

예시: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide green spaces and places for families to relax. For example, new parks with varied play areas and walking paths would encourage people to spend more time outdoors.

제안: Be concise and specific: name one or two parks or types of parks you want to visit and explain why using clearer grammar and fewer hesitations. Use future tense correctly and link reasons with "because" or "so".

예시: Yes, I plan to visit several parks in the future, especially a large botanical garden outside the city because it has rare plants and cafes. I hope to go there with my family to enjoy the scenery and try the local food.

× Yes, I did like a lot going to Fox as a child.

✓ Yes, I really liked going to parks as a child.

The original sentence has incorrect word order and awkward phrasing ('did like a lot going to Fox'). Use simple past 'liked' for a past habit and place noun 'parks' (or a specific park name) not 'Fox' alone. Suggestion: place adverb ('really') before main verb and use 'going to parks' or 'going to the park'.

× In our childhood.

✓ When I was a child.

'In our childhood' is unnatural in spoken English. Use a full clause 'When I was a child' to indicate time. This fixes sentence fragment by providing subject and verb.

× We used to went to a park nearby my home and we played there so much.

✓ We used to go to a park near my home and we played there a lot.

'Used to' is followed by the base verb form, not the past form; so 'went' should be 'go'. Also 'nearby my home' is incorrect collocation; use 'near my home'. Replace 'so much' with 'a lot' for naturalness.

× They were so swings.

✓ There were many swings.

'They were so swings' is ungrammatical. The correct existential structure is 'There were' followed by a quantity and noun: 'There were many swings.' 'So' cannot directly modify plural noun without adjective/adverb context.

× We tried every single swing so daily and it was a great fun.

✓ We tried every single swing every day and it was great fun.

'So daily' is incorrect; use 'every day' or 'daily'. 'A great fun' is incorrect because 'fun' is usually uncountable; use 'great fun' without an article.

× These days those.

✓ Those days are different now.

Original is a fragment and unclear. Provide a complete sentence to contrast past and present, e.g., 'Those days are different now.'

× Uh, in fact, I visit and go to park every single day because it's make me so refreshed and I feel so happy whenever I go to park.

✓ In fact, I visit the park every day because it makes me feel refreshed and happy whenever I go.

'Visit and go to park' is redundant and missing article 'the park'. Use simple present 'visit' or 'go' plus 'the park.' 'It makes me' requires third-person singular verb 'makes'. 'Feel refreshed' is the correct collocation. Drop the second 'to park' at the end.

× Yeah, it's kind of very umm, you know, like entertainment and fun for me to go into a park.

✓ It's kind of entertainment and fun for me to go to a park.

Redundant modifiers 'kind of very' clash; choose one ('kind of' or 'very'). 'Go into a park' is unnatural; use 'go to a park.' Remove filler words for clarity.

× Yeah, I would like to see more parks in my city, like exploding new parks, new things makes me feel so, uh, refreshed and I really want to explore new parks to see how, uh, different parks have different strings, different play areas.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city. New parks and new features make me feel refreshed, and I really want to explore different parks to see how they have different play areas.

Split into two sentences for clarity. 'Exploding' is wrong word choice; use 'new' or 'additional'. Subject-verb agreement: 'new things makes' should be 'new things make'. 'Different strings' is likely wrong word; replace with 'features' or remove. Use 'they' to refer to parks and 'have different play areas.'

× Yes umm, I have many parks in my ideas to go in my future.

✓ Yes, I have many parks in mind that I want to visit in the future.

'Parks in my ideas' is incorrect collocation; use 'parks in mind' or 'places in mind'. 'To go in my future' is wrong; use 'to visit in the future'.

× Umm, some of them are far away from my home so I'm deciding to go there with my family and enjoy their different kinds of umm, uh, playing areas and food.

✓ Some of them are far from my home, so I'm planning to go there with my family and enjoy their different kinds of play areas and food.

'Far away from my home' is acceptable but 'far from my home' is more natural. 'I'm deciding to go' is unnatural; use 'I'm planning to go.' 'Playing areas' -> 'play areas.' Remove fillers.

× Umm, I would definitely go in my future.

✓ I would definitely go in the future.

'In my future' is unnatural; use 'in the future.' The modal 'would' is acceptable for polite intention, but 'I will definitely go in the future' is another option for a firmer plan.