Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the answer grammatically correct, concise, and well-structured. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and unnecessary filler.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. For example, my parents often took me to a nearby park where I used to play on the swings and climb a wooden ladder. Those visits were memorable because I made friends and spent hours playing outdoors.

제안: Keep the clear structure but fix grammar and reduce repetition. Use one topic sentence then two specific activities with linking words to show routine and reason.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they give me a sense of peace and calm. For instance, I practise yoga there most mornings, and in the evenings I usually take a short walk after dinner to relax and get some fresh air.

제안: Provide a focused response with clear reasons and specific examples. Avoid repetition and vague phrases. Use linking words (for example, because, therefore) and correct grammar.

예시: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they improve residents' quality of life. For example, the local government is converting lakes into recreational areas, which provides more green space and opportunities for walking and family activities.

제안: Answer directly and eliminate hesitation words. Give a concise topic sentence and one or two specific appealing features using clear vocabulary. Correct awkward phrasing (e.g. 'sing them').

예시: Yes, I want to visit the Flower Park in my city because it has a wide variety of flowers and themed gardens. In addition, there are several family-friendly rides and walking paths, so I would like to spend an afternoon exploring the plants and enjoying the attractions.

× I love going park.

✓ I love going to the park.

The verb 'going' when followed by a place requires the preposition 'to'. Use 'to the park' to indicate destination; additionally include the definite article 'the' because 'park' is specific here.

× When I was younger my parents usually take me to the park where I was younger and I used to play in a playground with a ladder and with different types of instruments placed over there.

✓ When I was younger my parents usually took me to the park near our home and I used to play on a playground with a ladder and various pieces of equipment there.

The sentence mixes past and present tense. After 'When I was younger' actions should be in past tense: change 'take' to 'took'. 'Where I was younger' is awkward; use 'near our home' or omit. Use 'played on a playground' and 'pieces of equipment' instead of 'instruments' which is unnatural for playground items. Remove redundant 'placed over there' and use 'there'.

× Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they give me sense of peace and calm.

✓ Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they give me a sense of peace and calm.

Missing article 'a' before 'sense'. Use 'a sense of' to make the noun phrase grammatically correct.

× Every morning I do yoga this there most mornings and in the evenings after dinner I usually take a walk in the park and relax and get some fresh air.

✓ I do yoga most mornings, and in the evenings after dinner I usually take a walk in the park to relax and get some fresh air.

The original has redundant and misplaced words ('this there') and awkward coordination. Remove 'this there', place 'most mornings' after 'do yoga', and use 'to relax' to show purpose. Combine clauses with proper punctuation for clarity.

× Yes, definitely I would like to see the different types of parks in my city and there are many parks still available here in in my city and government is working on the new parks development and lakes are converted into parks and this is very much.

✓ Yes, definitely. I would like to see more and different types of parks in my city. There are many parks here, and the government is working on developing new parks; some lakes are being converted into parks, which is great.

The original sentence is run-on and repetitive ('in my city' twice, 'this is very much' unclear). Break into shorter sentences, use 'more and different types' for clarity, change 'is working on the new parks development' to 'is working on developing new parks', and use passive progressive 'are being converted' for ongoing action. Replace vague phrase 'this is very much' with 'which is great'.

× Yes, in in my city there is a park named, uh, flower park.

✓ Yes, in my city there is a park called Flower Park.

Remove duplicate 'in'. Use 'called' for names and capitalize proper name 'Flower Park'. Also remove filler 'uh' in corrected sentence.

× There is a very much, uh, variety of flowers and different types of plants, uh, planted there and I would enjoy, I would enjoy there to sing them and different types of rides, uh, placed over there.

✓ There is a wide variety of flowers and different types of plants planted there, and I would enjoy seeing them. There are also various rides available.

'Very much variety' is incorrect; use 'a wide variety' or 'a great variety'. The phrase 'I would enjoy there to sing them' is ungrammatical and likely meant 'seeing them'. Use 'various rides available' instead of 'placed over there'. Split into two clear sentences and remove fillers.