Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and use correct tense. Start with a clear topic sentence in past tense, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and fix grammar (e.g., "liked" not "like","it was nostalgic" not "it's still so nostalgic for me until now on").

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. For example, my friends and I would play hide-and-seek among the trees and enjoy the pond views, which now feel very nostalgic because those days were carefree and happy.

제안: Use present tense accurately and reduce fillers (umm, you know). Provide a clear topic sentence and one specific reason with linking words. Correct grammar ("makes me happy", "unwind from stress").

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they help me relax after work. For instance, I often take a 30-minute walk along the paths to clear my mind and reduce stress.

제안: Give a direct answer and support it with clear, specific benefits. Avoid vague or religious phrasing unless relevant; finish thoughts completely. Use linking words like "because" and "for example".

예시: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because they provide spaces for exercise and socializing. For example, additional parks could offer playgrounds and sports areas where families and neighbors can meet and stay active.

제안: Be specific about the park and why you want to visit it. Avoid hesitations and incomplete sentences. Use linking words to explain reasons and include one concrete detail (what you expect to see or do).

예시: Yes, I want to visit Rizal Park in Manila because I've seen it on TV and it looks beautiful. I hope to see the gardens and historical monuments in person and take photos to remember the trip.

× Yes, I like to go to the parks as a child because I wanted to play with my friends and we enjoyed seeing the views of the park and it's still so nostalgic for me until now on what we were doing, we were so happy.

✓ Yes, I liked going to parks as a child because I wanted to play with my friends, and we enjoyed seeing the views of the park. It still feels very nostalgic to me when I think about what we were doing; we were so happy.

The sentence mixes present and past tenses incorrectly. The question asked about past habits, so past simple or past continuous should be used (liked, wanted, enjoyed, were). Also 'the parks' is unnecessary; 'parks' or 'the park' is enough. 'It's still so nostalgic for me until now on' is awkward and ungrammatical; use 'It still feels very nostalgic to me when I think about...' to express ongoing feeling about past events. Suggestions: keep tense consistent (past) when describing childhood, split the long run-on sentence into shorter sentences, and use natural time expressions like 'when I think about...'.

× I still like going to the park because it really make me happy and also unwind all the stress from work or any umm thoughts that is not good for me. So I really wanted also to umm you know to walk to enjoy me.

✓ I still like going to the park because it really makes me happy and helps me unwind from the stress of work or any negative thoughts. So I also really want to walk there and enjoy myself.

Subject-verb agreement and tense issues: 'make' should be 'makes' to agree with singular subject 'it'. 'Unwind all the stress' is awkward; use 'helps me unwind from the stress'. 'Thoughts that is not good' should be 'thoughts that are not good' (plural agreement) or better 'negative thoughts'. 'I really wanted also' uses past tense incorrectly; present preference requires present tense 'I also really want'. 'Enjoy me' is incorrect; correct reflexive is 'enjoy myself'. Suggestions: ensure subject-verb agreement, match verb tense to the present preference, and use correct reflexive pronoun.

× I would love to see more parks in our city so that more people can enjoy the the view. They can do the recreational activities and also be part of the community. Admire the creation of God, admire all the things that would.

✓ I would love to see more parks in our city so that more people can enjoy the views. They can do recreational activities and also be part of the community, admiring God's creation and all the other things it offers.

Plural/singular and sentence structure errors: 'the the view' is redundant and 'the view' is better as plural 'views' when referring to multiple parks. 'Do the recreational activities' is unnatural; use 'do recreational activities' without 'the'. The fragments 'Admire the creation of God, admire all the things that would.' are sentence fragments and unclear; combine into a complete clause and use correct possessive 'God's creation'. Also change 'would' to 'it offers' to complete the meaning. Suggestions: use plural when referring to multiple items (views), remove unnecessary articles, and avoid sentence fragments by completing clauses.

× I would love to visit the park that umm that I saw back then in TV. It's in Manila Park because it's really famous and it was, I just saw it on TV. It was really nostalgic for me and I really wanted to visit that park because it reminds me of.

✓ I would love to visit the park that I saw on TV. It's in Manila; it's really famous and I only saw it on TV. It felt really nostalgic to me, and I really want to visit that park because it reminds me of my childhood.

Tense inconsistency and sentence fragments: 'saw back then in TV' should be 'saw on TV'. Mixing past and present awkwardly with 'it's... and it was' is confusing; keep consistent phrasing. 'It was really nostalgic for me' is acceptable but better as 'It felt really nostalgic to me.' The final clause 'because it reminds me of.' is incomplete; specify what it reminds you of (e.g., 'my childhood'). Suggestions: use correct preposition 'on TV', maintain consistent tense, and complete fragments by providing the object of 'reminds me of'.