Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be direct and concise: start with a clear topic sentence (Yes/No and brief reason), avoid fillers (uh, umm), correct grammar (use 'when I was a child'), and give one specific supporting detail. Use linking words (for example, because, and) to connect ideas. Keep it within 2–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks when I was a child because they were lively and full of colorful costumes. For example, I remember people dressing up for festivals and parades, which made each visit exciting and memorable.

제안: Answer directly and correct pronoun/word choice: use 'I still enjoy' rather than 'I believe so.' Reduce fillers and be specific about activities (walking by the lake, swimming). Use linking words (because, although) and correct phrases ('these places' instead of 'this issues'). Limit to 2–4 clear sentences.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because I like walking beside the lake and sometimes swimming if it's allowed. In addition, parks help me relax after a busy week of work and study.

제안: Start with a clear opinion sentence and give 1–2 specific reasons with linking words. Remove fillers and repetitions (don't repeat locations excessively). Mention benefits (recreation, community space) with specific examples to enrich the answer.

예시: Definitely — I would like more parks in my city because they provide safe places for children to play and for adults to relax. For example, new parks could offer playgrounds and picnic areas where families can spend weekends together.

제안: Give a specific park or type of park you'd like to visit (a botanical garden, a lakeside park) and explain why with a clear link to personal needs (relaxation, fresh air). Avoid vague phrases and fillers; use 2–4 coherent sentences and include a brief example or plan.

예시: Yes, I would like to visit a large botanical garden or a lakeside park in the future because I need a quiet place to relax after work and study. For instance, I hope to visit the city’s new lakeside park next month to walk along the water and read a book.

× I used to enjoy walking nearby parks because, uh, there are so many people, uh, which are dressed in different interesting costumes.

✓ I used to enjoy walking in nearby parks because there were so many people who were dressed in different interesting costumes.

Preposition: 'walking nearby parks' is incorrect; use 'walking in nearby parks'. Relative clause: 'which are dressed' should be 'who were dressed' when referring to people and matching past context. Tense consistency: 'used to' indicates past habitual action, so 'are' should be 'were'. Suggestion: say 'walking in nearby parks' and use 'who were dressed' to refer to people in the past.

× So, uh, whenever child, I really liked, uh, this, umm. Costumes.

✓ As a child, I really liked these costumes.

Word order and structure: 'whenever child' is incorrect; use the phrase 'As a child' to indicate time. 'this, umm. Costumes' is fragmented and mismatched in number; use 'these costumes' to match plural noun. Suggestion: combine into a single clear sentence: 'As a child, I really liked these costumes.'

× I believe so. We still like going to the parks because umm, I like walking in nearby lakes and if there is opportunity to swim there I will go.

✓ I believe so. I still like going to parks because I like walking near lakes, and if there is an opportunity to swim there, I will go.

Pronoun/subject consistency: 'We still like' conflicts with 'I believe so' and later 'I like'; change to 'I still like'. Preposition: 'walking in nearby lakes' is wrong; use 'walking near lakes' or 'walking by lakes'. Article: 'if there is opportunity' needs 'an opportunity'. Commas: add commas for clarity. Suggestion: keep subject consistent and use correct prepositions and articles.

× So I really like this issues.

✓ So I really like these things/issues.

Number agreement and article: 'this issues' mixes singular determiner 'this' with plural noun 'issues'. Use 'these issues' or rephrase to 'these things' depending on intended meaning. Suggestion: ensure determiner and noun agree in number.

× Definitely yes, because umm, I always see children in the parks and I really love to play with them and uh, I always want to relax in the park.

✓ Definitely yes, because I always see children in parks and I really love to play with them, and I always want to relax in the park.

Minor redundancy and article use: 'in the parks' can be 'in parks' for general statement; keep 'relax in the park' if referring to a specific park. No verb conjugation error here but adjusted for naturalness. Suggestion: remove unnecessary articles when speaking generally and keep consistency.

× So umm, I want to see more parks in my country, in my city and in my area.

✓ So, I want to see more parks in my country, in my city, and in my area.

Punctuation and parallel structure: add commas for clarity. Prepositions are acceptable; simply improve fluency. Suggestion: keep parallel structure and punctuation.

× Are there any parks you want to go to in the future?

✓ Are there any parks you would like to go to in the future?

Politeness/tense: 'want to' is acceptable but 'would like to' is more appropriate for future desire; not strictly grammatical error but stylistic improvement. Suggestion: use 'would like to' for a more natural response in this context.

× Uh, I want to relax, uh, because of my work and studies.

✓ I want to relax because of my work and my studies.

Style: repetition of 'uh' removed; add article 'my' before 'studies' for parallelism. Tense is fine. Suggestion: keep parallel possessive determiners.

× So I really, uh, want to see new parks because it's also interesting, uh, to visit them and spend time outdoors in the parks.

✓ So I really want to see new parks because it's also interesting to visit them and spend time outdoors in parks.

Article use: 'in the parks' is acceptable but 'in parks' is more natural when speaking generally. Remove filler words for clarity. Suggestion: use consistent general or specific phrasing and avoid fillers.