Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the answer more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, then provide two specific supporting details with linking words. Avoid repetition (e.g., “enjoy” repeated) and correct small grammar errors (plural/singular, article use).

예시: Yes — I loved going to the park as a child. I particularly enjoyed watching birds and trees because they felt peaceful, and I often played games with my friends there. For example, we used to play hide-and-seek near the big oak tree.

제안: Provide a clear topic sentence and combine supporting details into coherent sentences using linking words. Correct tense and phrasing (e.g., “recently trying” → “recently started trying” or “I’ve been trying”). Avoid sentence fragments like “And the view.”

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. Recently I’ve been jogging there to lose weight and improve my health, and I also appreciate the fresh air and pleasant views while I exercise.

제안: Be careful with word choice (perks → parks; screen space → green space). Start with a clear stance (neutral) then give concise reasons and a conditional comment. Use linking words and correct contrast connectors (avoid 'but however').

예시: I’m fairly neutral about adding more parks because I already have a good park nearby. However, a few more small parks would be useful for other neighborhoods and could make green areas more accessible to more people.

제안: Give a concise direct answer then expand with one clear reason. Correct grammar (’love’ → ‘loves’ with ‘I am the type of person who loves’ or rephrase). Remove redundancy and tighten sentences.

예시: Not at the moment — I’m happy with the parks I already use. However, I’m the kind of person who likes to explore, so I might visit new parks when I have time or travel to a different part of the city.

× Yes, I loved going to the park as a child because I enjoy spending time, enjoy the view outside and breathing fresh air.

✓ Yes, I loved going to the park as a child because I enjoyed spending time, enjoyed the view outside and breathed fresh air.

The sentence mixes past ('loved') with present tense verbs ('enjoy', 'breathing'), causing inconsistent tense usage. Maintain past tense when describing childhood experiences: change 'enjoy' to 'enjoyed' and 'breathing' to 'breathed' (or 'and breathed the fresh air'). Also ensure parallel structure by using the same verb form for each item ('enjoyed spending time, enjoyed the view, and breathed fresh air').

× I also love to watch trees and birds and I often play with my friends out there.

✓ I also loved watching trees and birds, and I often played with my friends out there.

Again, the sentence mixes past context with present-tense verbs. Use past tense 'loved' and gerund 'watching' to match 'loved', and 'played' for consistency. Using gerunds after 'loved' gives correct and natural parallel structure: 'loved watching' rather than 'love to watch' when referring to childhood.

× There are so many activity you can do outside in the park.

✓ There are so many activities you can do outside in the park.

The noun 'activity' should be plural to match 'so many', which requires a plural noun. Change to 'activities'. Also add 'that' if preferred: 'activities that you can do'. Ensure subject-verb agreement with plural noun.

× Yes, I do still love to go outside the park.

✓ Yes, I still love to go to the park.

The preposition is incorrect and the auxiliary ordering is awkward. Use 'go to the park' rather than 'go outside the park'. Also 'do still' is unnecessary; 'still love' is natural. This keeps present tense consistent for current preference.

× Mainly I go outside for jogging because I am recently trying to lose some weight and it becomes one of my habits to improve my health and also to enjoy the fresh air outside.

✓ Mainly I go out for jogging because I have recently been trying to lose some weight, and it has become one of my habits to improve my health and enjoy the fresh air.

Use 'go out' instead of 'go outside' for the activity, and for recent ongoing actions use present perfect continuous ('have recently been trying') or present perfect ('have recently tried'), not simple present progressive with 'recently'. 'It becomes' should be 'it has become' to indicate a change up to now. Remove redundant 'outside' after 'fresh air'. Ensure tense consistency and natural collocations ('go out for jogging', 'has become one of my habits').

× I'm neutral about adding more perks.

✓ I'm neutral about adding more parks.

'Perks' is a wrong word choice; context requires 'parks'. Choose the correct noun to match meaning. 'Perks' means benefits, not recreational areas.

× I'm satisfied with the screen space in my neighborhood because there's a park nearby that I can use, but however, a few more small parks would be pleasant and enjoyable to more people.

✓ I'm satisfied with the green space in my neighborhood because there's a park nearby that I can use; however, a few more small parks would be pleasant and enjoyable for more people.

'Screen space' is a typo; should be 'green space'. Use a semicolon or separate clauses instead of 'but however' (redundant). Use 'for more people' not 'to more people'. These changes correct vocabulary, redundancy, and preposition use.

× I'm not planning on going to any parks in the future soon but I am the type of person who love to explore and enjoy new things so I may find some and explore in the future but currently I'm fine with the what I have.

✓ I'm not planning on going to any parks soon, but I am the type of person who loves to explore and enjoy new things, so I may find some and explore in the future; currently I'm fine with what I have.

Multiple issues: 'love' should be 'loves' to agree with 'the type of person who' (subject-verb agreement). Remove redundant 'in the future soon'—use 'soon' or 'in the future'. Fix article error 'the what I have' to 'what I have'. Add commas or semicolons to improve sentence structure. These corrections make the future intention and subject-verb agreement clear.